1 Year HRT Anniversary!

[Katharina]

I'm happy to announce my 1 Year HRT Anniversary!
 
My name is Katharina and I'm 39 years now. Before transition I did not remotely look anything female in the very beginning. I was just like a boring guy who doesn't know his place in this world (misgendering intended). But then the day came and I couldn't endure myself anymore. What happened in the following period of time became my personal miracle. Since I had no choice but to change my life, I went on unknown waters. That was almost 4 years ago. It took me 1 year to figure out who I am and how to present as female. Another year I had spend to get my name legally changed. Now I have 2.5 months left to be able to get my indication for SRS. In Germany you must have to see an gender therapist for at least 18 months and have 6 months HRT to get SRS.
 
1 year of HRT has left it's marks! Almost everything has changed since then. I tried to keep in this post short but a certain length is required. To compensate that, I'll give you detailed insight into my transition.
 
I left the boring topics out of here, because you can watch the common things in most of the Youtube videos. I chose 3 categories of which you may be interested the most: Body, feeling and perception, libido. Since I'm a bit of a math nerd I also include some statistics and of course some pictures!
 
A year ago, I have started HRT and I went into my female puberty with all the funny things included.
 
 
Body
 
My body has proven to be very compatible to estrogen. What happened here?
 
- Hair density. I had never thought of getting my hairs back! However, I'll keep my high forehead but got rid of the hair loss on my the back of my head and that was the reason I was forced to use a wig for over 2 years. And yes, I'll keep my receding hairline.
 
- Lesser and smoother body hair. My beard has been removed by laser since that does not change by hormones. Also the arms got some laser treatment but some hair I wanted to remain. On the belly almost all hair just vanished.
 
- Supersoft and cleaner skin, especially at the face! I got rid of all that annoying pimples. The skin has become very soft.
 
- Feminized facial characteristics. That was and is super important to me! The differences can be seen in the picture, especially the overall rounder face. My face doesn't look male anymore and that is something I can confirm in everyday life. My face did look a lot more male as the picture might show.
 
- Feminized body (Hips, Thighs, Breast). What should I say? Hips: yes. Breast: Almost A-cup after 10 months of growth including constant growth pain. Thighs: Looks a lot more feminine than before. I have not planned to do any breast augmentation. I have 5 more years of breast growth left and I don't like any plastic in my body. Instead I keep myself surprised what my breast will do in the future.
 
- Body measurements. In conclusion, I have gained weight overall which is a good thing because I was underweight in the beginning and my body does look better in my eyes than being super-thin. I can't do exercises at the moment but I care about good and healthy nutrition.
 
Feeling and perception
 
This was the most fundamental change to me. Before HRT I had felt very differently and my perception of the world around me also has altered to a better direction.
 
- More emotional feelings. The feelings I experience now are much stronger and more intense. I often can't hold myself back.
 
- Body and mind in harmony. Almost there! My body does work much better with estrogen. Testosterone in comparison often made me aggressive and made me somehow confused. Since my charisma has changed, to others around me, I have changed also drastically in a positive way. No need to watch inside my pants now, because there has nothing changed (yet).
 
- Changes in interests/character. Am I a "typically women" now, including shopping, nail polish and doing my hair everyday? No way! Apart from this, those stereotypes are just nonsense in my eyes (what is a typical woman anyway?) only few things have changed. Although I discover new things like fashion (ok, AND shopping ;), I certainly am not a "typical" woman. I identify as 100% female but that does not match myself completely. 36 years of attempting to live as a male has left it's marks. I was not socialized to a female being and my female me has no considerable past. But I'm doing my very best and I feel that I'm on the right direction. However, having experienced both sides of the gender spectrum has a great value to me
 

Libido
 
- Sexual orientation or to whom I am attracted now? I can't really tell. Before transition, I never had any romantic experience and surely nothing sexual did happen. I'm not sure but maybe I don't want (or need) to determine that. I don't believe HRT has any influence on my attraction. However, I am in a very healthy relationship with a man and I enjoy that in every aspect.
 
- No pressure to masturbate! That has been settled once and for all. It was a huge burden to me. Now there's no schedule anymore. I decide when and if I want to do that. Life quality has become much better now.
 
- Reduced function in genitalia. Everything works but I require a very different stimulation than before. Keeping an erection over a longer period of time has become almost impossible.
 
- Female orgasm - how does I feel it? As far as I can tell, that was the biggest surprise. It is so much more intense and not comparable to before where most of the feeling was focused on the genitalia area. Now the complete body is involved and getting to the climax feels like an explosion so tremendous that I lost control over my body. It also last much longer than before.
 
- New body areas which contribute to sexual stimulation. That one was surprising! Some innocent areas of my body simply thought "hey we have a sexual function now". That's great (and my friend loves it)!

 
Conclusion
 
1 year has made a huge difference and I'm so happy that my transition seems to work out much more positive than I ever had imagined. If you see my pictures now you can't see all the pain and depression that went into this transition. I'm almost where I want to be. But the pressure to become the woman I am changed into a simple waiting line. Mentally I'm already there. I fixed my terrible life from before and created something that is worth living.
 
Katharina

[Jani]

Hello Katharina!  Thank you for the update.  Your progress has been amazing!  Good for you!  I can certainly see that estrogen has been kind to your body.  You look great and its sound like you are very happy.  Hopefully the next 2.5 months will go quickly and you will get your indication for GRS quickly.  Also I have tracked my progress, but not to the extent you have.  Cool! 

Hugs, Jani  

[Heather Shay]

What a beautiful woman you are becoming my sweet Katharina.... can't wait to hear your new and improved voice and hopefully we can complete the transition together . YOU ARE AMAZING and quite the statistian - I have Industrial enginering and 6 Sigma training and certification but I am not as discipline in charting my way as you - YOU ARE AMAZING GIRL>>>>>>

[Cyndee]

You have the data Katharina ! way to go, impressive changes.

 

Do enjoy as things progress further, amazing.

 

Cyndee

[Heather Shay]

And Katharina is an accomplished musician even during the stresses of University life.....

[Kylie]

What a wonderful and descriptive outline! 
 

Kylie❤️

[Jillian StJames]

Thank you for all the great information you shared! I am starting HRT next week (as soon as the endocrinologist calls in the prescription) and I am reading as many other's experience as I can find to get a feel what to expect. I recently discovered this site from a mention on a YouTube video and it has proven to be a gold mine of information.

 

[Susan R]

51 minutes ago, Jillian StJames said:

Thank you for all the great information you shared! I am starting HRT next week

Congrats Jillian in advance on moving forward in your transition and getting started on HRT. Like @Katharina, you are becoming the person you were always meant to be. You likely have a story or two like many of us i. the community. I would enjoy reading a little about how you came to realize this change was needed..only of course if you would feel comfortable doing so. If you do decide you’d like to share a part of your journey thus far, maybe you could introduce yourself in the introductions section of our forum.

 

Warmest Regards,

Susan R?

[MirandaB]

Have to say, this isn't helping me as I wait and wait and wait for my appointment to see if I'm allowed to follow you on this path that sounds amazing.

[Heather Shay]

I totally understand the waiting...as Tom Petty said...its the hardest part. I've been on HRT for 6 weeks and the wait was well worth it. Patience is not one of my virtues but I got through it and so can you. The wait will be worth it and keeping all your health needs monitored is valuable. I tried self HRT 5 years ago and caused prostate issues. You are doing it right and you will be happy you did.

Shay

[Katharina]

Thank you all for your warm replies! I'm happy to see that sharing such private information at least gives some insight to whose who want to start into HRT. I understand the feeling of waiting, waiting and more waiting very well. But you can see yourself standing in the waiting line in a different way: You WILL have an appointment - it takes some time but it will happen! I was in a situation where I simply could not find any gender therapist which can write me an indication letter in order to start HRT. It took me over 6 months to track someone down because where are no open information sources available in Germany i could find where you can get a phone number or a name of a therapist at all.

 

When you finally start HRT, again, you'll need to have patience. It's not easy to sit and wait for changes you like to see, especially in the beginning. But as you progress in time, things may happening pretty fast.

 

If you have questions regarding to HRT, just feel free to send me a private message

 

Katharina

[Heather Shay]

You are very generous and very loved.....congratulations on your successful voice surgery - you sound so feminine - I'm jealous.

[SheenaT]

On 8/16/2020 at 7:50 AM, Katharina said:

I'm happy to announce my 1 Year HRT Anniversary!
 
My name is Katharina and I'm 39 years now. Before transition I did not remotely look anything female in the very beginning. I was just like a boring guy who doesn't know his place in this world (misgendering intended). But then the day came and I couldn't endure myself anymore. What happened in the following period of time became my personal miracle. Since I had no choice but to change my life, I went on unknown waters. That was almost 4 years ago. It took me 1 year to figure out who I am and how to present as female. Another year I had spend to get my name legally changed. Now I have 2.5 months left to be able to get my indication for SRS. In Germany you must have to see an gender therapist for at least 18 months and have 6 months HRT to get SRS.
 
1 year of HRT has left it's marks! Almost everything has changed since then. I tried to keep in this post short but a certain length is required. To compensate that, I'll give you detailed insight into my transition.
 
I left the boring topics out of here, because you can watch the common things in most of the Youtube videos. I chose 3 categories of which you may be interested the most: Body, feeling and perception, libido. Since I'm a bit of a math nerd I also include some statistics and of course some pictures!
 
A year ago, I have started HRT and I went into my female puberty with all the funny things included.
 
 
Body
 
My body has proven to be very compatible to estrogen. What happened here?
 
- Hair density. I had never thought of getting my hairs back! However, I'll keep my high forehead but got rid of the hair loss on my the back of my head and that was the reason I was forced to use a wig for over 2 years. And yes, I'll keep my receding hairline.
 
- Lesser and smoother body hair. My beard has been removed by laser since that does not change by hormones. Also the arms got some laser treatment but some hair I wanted to remain. On the belly almost all hair just vanished.
 
- Supersoft and cleaner skin, especially at the face! I got rid of all that annoying pimples. The skin has become very soft.
 
- Feminized facial characteristics. That was and is super important to me! The differences can be seen in the picture, especially the overall rounder face. My face doesn't look male anymore and that is something I can confirm in everyday life. My face did look a lot more male as the picture might show.
 
- Feminized body (Hips, Thighs, Breast). What should I say? Hips: yes. Breast: Almost A-cup after 10 months of growth including constant growth pain. Thighs: Looks a lot more feminine than before. I have not planned to do any breast augmentation. I have 5 more years of breast growth left and I don't like any plastic in my body. Instead I keep myself surprised what my breast will do in the future.
 
- Body measurements. In conclusion, I have gained weight overall which is a good thing because I was underweight in the beginning and my body does look better in my eyes than being super-thin. I can't do exercises at the moment but I care about good and healthy nutrition.
 
Feeling and perception
 
This was the most fundamental change to me. Before HRT I had felt very differently and my perception of the world around me also has altered to a better direction.
 
- More emotional feelings. The feelings I experience now are much stronger and more intense. I often can't hold myself back.
 
- Body and mind in harmony. Almost there! My body does work much better with estrogen. Testosterone in comparison often made me aggressive and made me somehow confused. Since my charisma has changed, to others around me, I have changed also drastically in a positive way. No need to watch inside my pants now, because there has nothing changed (yet).
 
- Changes in interests/character. Am I a "typically women" now, including shopping, nail polish and doing my hair everyday? No way! Apart from this, those stereotypes are just nonsense in my eyes (what is a typical woman anyway?) only few things have changed. Although I discover new things like fashion (ok, AND shopping ;), I certainly am not a "typical" woman. I identify as 100% female but that does not match myself completely. 36 years of attempting to live as a male has left it's marks. I was not socialized to a female being and my female me has no considerable past. But I'm doing my very best and I feel that I'm on the right direction. However, having experienced both sides of the gender spectrum has a great value to me
 

Libido
 
- Sexual orientation or to whom I am attracted now? I can't really tell. Before transition, I never had any romantic experience and surely nothing sexual did happen. I'm not sure but maybe I don't want (or need) to determine that. I don't believe HRT has any influence on my attraction. However, I am in a very healthy relationship with a man and I enjoy that in every aspect.
 
- No pressure to masturbate! That has been settled once and for all. It was a huge burden to me. Now there's no schedule anymore. I decide when and if I want to do that. Life quality has become much better now.
 
- Reduced function in genitalia. Everything works but I require a very different stimulation than before. Keeping an erection over a longer period of time has become almost impossible.
 
- Female orgasm - how does I feel it? As far as I can tell, that was the biggest surprise. It is so much more intense and not comparable to before where most of the feeling was focused on the genitalia area. Now the complete body is involved and getting to the climax feels like an explosion so tremendous that I lost control over my body. It also last much longer than before.
 
- New body areas which contribute to sexual stimulation. That one was surprising! Some innocent areas of my body simply thought "hey we have a sexual function now". That's great (and my friend loves it)!

 
Conclusion
 
1 year has made a huge difference and I'm so happy that my transition seems to work out much more positive than I ever had imagined. If you see my pictures now you can't see all the pain and depression that went into this transition. I'm almost where I want to be. But the pressure to become the woman I am changed into a simple waiting line. Mentally I'm already there. I fixed my terrible life from before and created something that is worth living.
 
Katharina

Estrogen is wonderful. You are beautiful. Your body clearly loves the E.

[Katharina]

On 2/27/2021 at 4:39 PM, SheenaT said:

Estrogen is wonderful. You are beautiful. Your body clearly loves the E.

Thank you SheenaT . I'm almost at the 19th month mark now and the changes are wonderful. Estrogen has changed my life.

[SheenaT]

7 hours ago, Katharina said:

Thank you SheenaT . I'm almost at the 19th month mark now and the changes are wonderful. Estrogen has changed my life.

?