Hi! I'm New!

[Christine.Alaina]

Hi, I'm Christine, 

I'm a 50 years old transwoman, I'm sure my story is a familiar one to y'all. I've know I was a girl since my earliest memories. I was scolded and told that boys don't do that. In school I was bullied for being feminine so I learned to pretend not to be different. I secretly dressed in my mother's clothes, in my first wife's clothes, in my second (and final) wife's clothes. So, at the age of 50 I finally came out first to my wife and then to the part of my family that lives with us. Something in me finally broke open and it all flooded out. I have to do this.

My wife is supportive, she helped me buy makeup and a few clothes that actually fit. She helped me find a wig. I'm half bald. And she even took me to a lake and did a photoshoot for me (see my profile pic). Besides all that she cries, and mourns the loss of her husband, and she still wants to call me male nicknames, and her husband. She is my best friend, and I want to stay with her if she'll have me. The thing is she is only ok with me being myself in the house, not in public, or at work. She is not ok with HRT or SRS. I told her I want to live as a woman 24/7, do HRT, and get SRS. I'd like her agreement, but she's not ready yet. I am currently giving her time to accept what I am before I move on, however, I'm starting HRT in 8 days.

 

[Cyndee]

Welcome Christine to trans pulse forums, and thanks for your intro post, nice to have ya with us

 

Have a look around, join the conversations, start your topics or answer others, it's up to you, post away as the mood strikes ya.

 

Welcome hugs

 

Cyndee

[Christine.Alaina]

Thank you Cyndee! 

[Ivy]

Hi Christine.  And welcome.  

[Elizabeth Star]

Hi Christine.

[Abi]

Hi Christine, 

    Some of your experience sounds really familiar but my ex( there will only be one ) was gone before I started slowly opening up with others. There are a lot of supportive people here. Have fun getting to know everyone. ?

 

Abigail

[Carolyn Marie]

Welcome to Trans Pulse, Christine.  Your approach to your wife's hesitancy is a good one.  Give her time to adjust, go slow, make changes step by step.  Her attitude may change for the better, but it may not. You have to decide what you will do if it doesn't.  In the meantime, if you haven't found a gender therapist, I think you should.  It will not only help you, it might also help your wife if she will consent to going to some sessions with you.  The more she learns and understands, the better off you'll both be.  I wish you luck.

 

HUGS

 

Carolyn Marie

[Heather Shay]

@Christine.Alaina welcome. As you have already seen from the outpouring of love, you have sisters here who will support you unconditionally. I love your name and the name Alaina holds special meaning to me and the young girl I knew her mother so well was killed in an ATV accident and I wrote a healing for her mother and I am so happy you chose it.

Heather Shay

[Christine.Alaina]

Thank you everyone for the kind welcome! Y'all are so sweet!

Carolyn, that's great advice. I've been seeing a counselor for about 10 months. I told her everything from the start. It's been well worth it.

Shay, awww! Thank you so much! I've loved my name, Christine, since I was little. Alaina didn't come until later but I feel like it fits me perfectly.

Love to all,

Christine

 

 

[Timber Wolf]

Hi Christine,

Welcome to Transpulse. I'm glad you're here!

 

Lots of love and a big welcome hug,

Timber Wolf?

[KayC]

Hi Christine!  nice to meet you and Welcome!
You've found a great place for encouragement and the supportive experiences of many here that have gone through similar situations.
 

12 hours ago, Christine.Alaina said:

She is my best friend, and I want to stay with her if she'll have me. The thing is she is only ok with me being myself in the house, not in public, or at work.

Your life experience and concerns about your relationship with your wife are very similar to mine.  Its really been a rollercoaster, but I also know its going to take time for both of us.
I want to parrot @Carolyn Marie's advise to seek gender therapy/counseling for yourself (first - if you haven't already) then maybe as a couples therapy later.  Starting therapy is one of the best decisions I have ever made in my life, and even only a couple of months into it its been transformational for me, and had put me in a better place to move forward with transition plans than was possible without therapy.

 

It has also started to settle the hills and valleys within our relationship because it has put ME in a more peaceful place (even without HRT yet).  We still have a long ways to go .. and there are no guarantees but it appears more hopeful than it did even a few months ago.

There is no "expiration date" on transitioning ... so defining a timeline that meets not only your personal goals, but also the goal of keeping your relationship together might be a good place to start.  Maybe you can discuss this with your wife?

Happy for you, and your decision to be the woman you've always wanted to be❣️

Deep breaths ... one step at a time

[Christine.Alaina]

Thank you so much for your kind reply Kay. I've been seeing a therapist since last year, and my wife is seeing her by herself on Monday. We are going to start couples counseling soon. My wife just wanted to see her by herself first. My wife and I have been talking a lot. I've been as compassionate as possible for her, helping her go through this. Just as she's been supportive of me going through this. She wants me to be happy, but she's wondering how much she will be willing to sacrifice for me to be happy.

 

Love for all,

Christine 

[Heather Shay]

@Christine.Alaina you are on a wise path with your wife and that is good news.

[KayC]

17 hours ago, Christine.Alaina said:

I've been seeing a therapist since last year, and my wife is seeing her by herself on Monday. We are going to start couples counseling soon. My wife just wanted to see her by herself first.

That's great to hear, Christine.  Seems you (both) are doing all the right things to move forward and help your wife in the process. 

Wishing you both all the best and happiness❣️

[Christine.Alaina]

Thank you so much everyone!

[Robin.C]

Christine it is wise to take it one step at a time with your wife.

Whereas we have been thinking this and learning and growing as ourselves, our partners have only just found out.

It will take sometime for her to come up to speed so to speak.

I know my partner is worried about what the changes are going to mean, however she has already seen how much happier I am.

The communication we have I think is the key, especially when dealing with her concerns.

 

Hugs

Robin