Hey everyone (:

[Aj721]

Hi so I'm new here and I hope I'm doing this right lol.

I'm an unaccepted ftm and since people don't agree with my gender and pronouns irl, I turned to online support. I'm 15, I have 5 younger siblings, and I'm the disgrace of the family because I like gurls and I'm afab, but not the only disgrace thankfully(although the only disgrace because of my sexuality oof)! I'm thinking of coming out to my friends and classmates this year but idk if it's a good time, I'm probably going to wait until next year so I can introduce myself as Aj instead of Sarah to the teachers, and try and get my friends to revisit the fact that I'm actually a dude despite portraying myself as a gurl for 15 years. Kinda sucks cuz they don't feel comfortable talking about it so it's difficult but you know, another day, another fight, right? I love animals so much and I LOVE swimming, but I get a lot of dysphoria from it so that sucks. If y'all want to see pics of my bunnies let me know, I love showing them to everyone, like a proud parent lol. My life goals are to graduate high school college, be a sonographer, transition successfully, get married, and foster some kids! I am not allowed to express myself and be masc around my family so it really sucks this quarantine and I feel like I'm dying inside but I'm prob just being overdramatic lol. Feel free to chat with me I love talking to people in general! 

[Ivy]

Hi Aj, and Welcome.  This is a friendly place.

[Elizabeth Star]

Hi Aj, nice to meet you.

[DonkeySocks]

Hello Aj,

You are not being overdramatic. Being closeted can really hurt.

Can you prepare your friends a little for when the time is right for you to come out to them? Hints like "today I'm really pondering what it means to me to be masculine", or "I found a masculine shirt I just love." Things they don't need to respond to if they're uncomfortable, but it will be in the backs of their minds so they don't lash out so much when you outright tell them.

If you can post pics of your bunnies to the forum please do share!

[Jackie C.]

Salutations Aj! Pleased to meet you!

 

Nothing at all wrong with liking girls. Heck, I like girls. Well, women now but when I was your age... They're pleasant to be around and they smell better.

 

I'm sorry to hear about the swimming. It makes perfect sense though. Girls swimwear accentuates what you've got that you don't want. Could you try a more masculine swim costume? Dark t-shirt and a pair of swim trunks. It covers the, ahem, basics and might make you feel better while you play in the water. I'm guessing the animal husbandry doesn't make you feel especially dysphoric.

 

At least you're in Houston. While I've never been (and I'm told the entire city smells like gym socks), others have said it's more accepting than rural Texas. So at least that's in your favor. So yeah, I'd try one or two trusted friends first then expand outwards. It's important that friends accept you. People that already didn't like you don't matter. I'm deeply sorry about the High School experience. It sucks enough for cis people. It's worse for us. Hopefully you can do what I did. Find a few close friends and ride them (metaphorically) until you're out.

 

Until then, we're always here to listen.

 

Oh, official note on pictures. Because you're a minor, no pictures of your face on the site until your turn eighteen. That's for your own protection. We'd like to make sure you can't be identified by anybody who might wish you ill. Best practice is to put pictures into the gallery (that's member's only) and post links from the forum side.

 

I used to raise bunnies too. I had meat rabbits, then rex for 4H. I had a palomino get out one winter and he thrived. We had some funky colored bunnies in the neighborhood the next couple of years.

 

Hugs!

[Heather Shay]

@Aj721 I am proud of you. It is truly amazing for someone so young to have a grasp of themselves and have a good plan already formed. Taking it slow in coming out is a good idea and coming to transpulse is your best idea of all. The people here are kind, understanding, non-judgmental and a good source to bounce ideas and questions off. Welcome you came to the right place.

Heather Shay