Good Evening!

[Guest 71christy09]

Where to start? Not real sure, but when I sat down to write this I was a wee bit nervous to say the least. As far as I know I do not know any of you and you do not know me, so why the nervousness. Anyway these first few sentences have me feeling a bit better. Here we go...

In my readings around the net over the years (well since the mid '90s) I see my emotions, fears, feelings and inactivity are not unique to just me (thank god for that). I had orignally planned to take my initial steps towards transitioning around 99 but I felt I was too tall and would never be succesful in passing. So I just shoved everything into some dark place shutting the door and tried to throw away the key, but it got stuck in the lock. Well in recent weeks I have turned 38, the door fell off the hinges and I do not have the energy to fix it and put everything away again.

I am married, but we seperated several years ago. No girlfriend, no real close friends and I work my dream job.

About 2 weeks ago the door failed and I have been taking inventory on my life, trying to figure out what I need to do and have formulated a basic plan to bring Christy out. Three days ago I went to the store to buy beer and walked out with that as well as some Veet and a lovely shade of red nail polish. As I sit here writing, I can not help but relish my bare arms and legs, in fact the only hair I have is on my head..it is a wonderful feeling, plus my painted toes look very nice. I can not wait until I have a few more dollars saved up so I can get rid of my facial hair and be done with shaving daily (I have always hated to shave) . I plan on taking things as slow as I can handle, but I fear this will be a test of my patience because I want it done 10 years ago. I am hoping my male dominated well known nationwide company will be understanding since they are always telling us about all the EEO programs they offer and what to do if you are being harrassed, etc.

My male self is on Facebook, but I as Christy decided she/I needed my/her own pages and friends, which I now have and I try to write in my blog there everyday. Havent had too much to write about, just about my decision, my adventure at the store and shaving.

Sorry about the book, it was not my intention to write much other then I am a 38yo MTF at the beginning of a long road I should have gone down years ago. I hope you all have a wonderful night and I look forward to learning as much as I can from all of you.

Christy

[Guest Donna Jean]

Well, Christy....let Good 'ole Donna Jean be the very first to welcome you to your new world!

OHhh...this is so much fun......WELCOME, Sweetheart!

OMG...you have a LOT to do, don't you? a lot of living and changing and you're gonna need some new stuff for your Face book page and ....oh my!

Well, Hon, I had seen that you had joined and I've been waiting around for you to come on in!

So, I want you to have some of this nice hot coco and some of Sally's fresh cookies and we can sit and some of the others will be by to say "Hi" to you too....

You'll like it here...you can just be YOU...we're safe and we keep all of the meanies OUT!

So, Honey...you get all comfortable and relax....you'll love it here!

****BIGG HUGG****

Donna Jean

[Guest ~Brenda~]

My Dear, Dear Christy,

Welcome home hon. I know exactly where you are at and where you are coming from. Everything from the feeble attempt to lock everything away in the closet, to having the woman inside beaking loose with a vengance! Failed marriage, to working your dream job!! Also the simple joy of buying nailpolish and painting your toes. Right now, my favorite brand of nail polish is "Love My Nails" color "orchid"! We are cut from the same cloth.

You have definitely come to the right place!! Welcome, Welcome, Welcome!! You will form the best friendships here Christy. You will never be harmed here. Never be put down. Never made to feel ashamed. You will learn so much about yourself here Christy!! Post to the forums hon. Reply to other's topics! Share yourself, as we share with you. You will be amazed!!

Love,

bernii

[Guest Alyssa Leigh]

Hi Christy

Welcome to the playground I see that you have already meet Donna Jean and Bernii and there are so many more nice people here so make yourself comfortable and more will be by shortly to greet you.

Alyssa

[Guest Lisa marie]

Welcome to the forums Christy

And its better late than never

Lisa

[Guest Marissa Anastasia]

Welcome Christy, and thank you for sharing with us. I hope you find here, the support and help you need and deserve. You have found a wonderful group of people. Please make yourself at home, we're glad you're here.

Love,

Marissa

[Guest 71christy09]

Thankyou for the warm welcome and I look forward to participating in these fantastic forums.

[Guest brenda lee]

Where to start? Not real sure, but when I sat down to write this I was a wee bit nervous to say the least. As far as I know I do not know any of you and you do not know me, so why the nervousness. Anyway these first few sentences have me feeling a bit better. Here we go...

In my readings around the net over the years (well since the mid '90s) I see my emotions, fears, feelings and inactivity are not unique to just me (thank god for that). I had orignally planned to take my initial steps towards transitioning around 99 but I felt I was too tall and would never be succesful in passing. So I just shoved everything into some dark place shutting the door and tried to throw away the key, but it got stuck in the lock. Well in recent weeks I have turned 38, the door fell off the hinges and I do not have the energy to fix it and put everything away again.

I am married, but we seperated several years ago. No girlfriend, no real close friends and I work my dream job.

About 2 weeks ago the door failed and I have been taking inventory on my life, trying to figure out what I need to do and have formulated a basic plan to bring Christy out. Three days ago I went to the store to buy beer and walked out with that as well as some Veet and a lovely shade of red nail polish. As I sit here writing, I can not help but relish my bare arms and legs, in fact the only hair I have is on my head..it is a wonderful feeling, plus my painted toes look very nice. I can not wait until I have a few more dollars saved up so I can get rid of my facial hair and be done with shaving daily (I have always hated to shave) . I plan on taking things as slow as I can handle, but I fear this will be a test of my patience because I want it done 10 years ago. I am hoping my male dominated well known nationwide company will be understanding since they are always telling us about all the EEO programs they offer and what to do if you are being harrassed, etc.

My male self is on Facebook, but I as Christy decided she/I needed my/her own pages and friends, which I now have and I try to write in my blog there everyday. Havent had too much to write about, just about my decision, my adventure at the store and shaving.

Sorry about the book, it was not my intention to write much other then I am a 38yo MTF at the beginning of a long road I should have gone down years ago. I hope you all have a wonderful night and I look forward to learning as much as I can from all of you.

Christy

Christy Welcome to the playground. I too am starting to transistion later in life. Sweetie we are all glad to have you join us.LOL Brenda Lee

[Guest joe0117]

Hi Christy!

Welcome to the Playground! It is the friendliest place on Earth! I look forward to getting to know you!

Joe

[Paula ult]

Hi Christy and welcome, you have already met some of us. My door fell off last year at the age of 56, this time i didn't bother trying to fix it. I may be repeating things you already know but here goes, one of the first steps should be to find a gender therapist, if your company is like mine my insurance covers it if the therapist codes it as depression/anxiety with a secondary of GID, i only pay my co-pay. It is generally 3 months before getting the letter to start hormones.

Start growing your hair, this is a step i didn't do right away and i regret it now. Facial hair removal, electro or laser, should also be one of the first steps, it takes a long time, forget having body hair removed, after you are on hormones awhile body hair lightens and grows slower, wished it worked on facial hair. so wait on any electro or laser for that.

Voice is very important step too many of us put off, there are a number of resources online. Once you have 5 posts you can PM people, if you have any questions PM me.

But above all go at a pace you feel comfortable with, i been taking the baby step approach with others, adding something feminine every few weeks, it gets them used to seeing small changes but over time they add up.

HUGS!

Paula

[Guest 71christy09]

Paula,

The plan I am starting off with is to be rid of my facial hair, grow my hair out, work on my voice and dressing/makeup. I am thinking after a few months of this I will seek out a therapist. I have read all sorts of ways to do things, watched many youtube videos and am reading as much info as I can find on the subject. I am hoping I can remain stealth at work for awhile.

On a side not today (havent figured out if this should go in this forum, but I have to tell someone) I had to go to the store and while I was there I bought a few makeup items so I could start practicing. I do not know if the clerk saw through my story about forgeting my shopping list at home and I really didnt care. But when I got home there was a nice little package on the door step containing some nice little lacey items. I was so excited about trying them on, but I had to wait 5 looong hours until my room mates finally turned their lights out. The religious one sat in my room (and mind you I have not breathed a word to any of my friends about what I am up to) for 30 minutes talking about how sick and perverted homosexuals and anyone else who is not straight is. C'mon, all I wanted to do was to whip that makeup out and try on those nice little frilly things So here I sit writing to all you wonderful people, partially dressed for the 1st time in many years with lips painted better then I ever saw my last date do...IMHO. I actually smiled at myself for the first time I can ever recall...oh and these stalkings, my oh my do they feel like a slice of heaven on my shaved legs.

Good night

Christy

[Guest Ashlee]

Hello Christy,

Welcome to the playground!

This is such a safe, happy place. We can be ourselves and enjoy each others company!

My closet, well its been locked and unlocked so many times... Maybe someday the lock will break for good!

Good luck on your journey.

Ashlee

[Sally]

Welcome to the forums Christy.

Sounds like you have a plan.

Don't worry about starting too late, I'm 57 and I see my Doctor about hormones in mid July, better late than never!

We refer to transitioning as being a journey and each path is different but fully transitioned is not a destination just another plateau on that ever upward journey of life.

love ya,

Sally

[Guest 1charlotte1]

Good thing u wrote more than expected, or I would have had to ask for u to write more about urself! Lol

Welcome to lauras!!! I'm Charlotte, 17 and looking for a therapist! Wooot!! Therapy! (did that almost sound sarcastic?)

Anyway I'm rambling! Just welcome!

Hugz, Charlotte