Hello I am Monique

[Monique Fish]

Greetings Everyone,

 

I am Monique and have been lurking out here the last few weeks reading posts and learning about this site and picking up important information. I am impressed with the openness and level of support I see from folks here. 

 

A little about myself. I was AMAB and was born in 1958, so I am a little  more on the mature side. I have been married to my wife for 30 years this month. We have three kids and five cats.  The last of the kids moved out and into their own home in the last two months.

 

I have dealt with gender dysphoria for as long as I can remember. I have been in therapy several different times to deal with my gender dysphoria. After a 8 year break I just started seeing a therapist who really gets it. She knows what the standards are for transition, etc. but says they sometimes are barriers and don't always meet people where they are at. She follow them because that is what insurance companies, etc. expect. 

 

This past week I went back into therapy because the dysphoria and reached new levels and was interfering with normal live. I dress as Monique as often as I can. Some of my cloths, not a lot, have come to me from my wife. Hard to express how much it means to me when she does this for me. She is not able to bring herself to using my female name, however she was the one that years ago wanted me to be Monique when I was struggling with what my name was. At this point she does not want me out in public and does not want the kids to know. She has not had issues when I use to go to therapy as Monique as long as I was careful and discreet. 

 

One thing I really enjoy is shopping to build my wardrobe. If feels pretty therapeutic. With COVID it has been easier to order for pick up or delivery. I am pretty happy to have found some good stuff in my size. Depending on the brand I come in around a size 14. Shoes are a little more challenging. My shoes are a woman's 13, not a lot of great choices. I can sometimes wear some size 12 wide.

 

I could go on, but I will stop here for now and look forward to learning from everyone here.

 

Thank you to those of you running this site.

 

Monique

 

 

[Jackie C.]

Greetings and salutations @Monique Fish! Lovely to meet you!

 

You and I are proof that women come in all shapes and sizes. While we share a size 13 foot (and yes, shopping sucks though I have a few treasures), I'm a 16 tall on the bottom and about a 2XL on top. While my wife and I TECHNICALLY share the same pants size, she's a 16W. It makes laundry day more challenging, but my underwear is nicer than hers and we prefer vastly different styles of socks which keeps most conversations from starting with, "Sweetie? Is this mine or yours." Same with jewelry now that I think about it. Our styles are pretty different.

I learned the other day that Paris Hilton also has a size 13 foot. Oh, to have the money to have all MY shoes custom made. Except I couldn't do that. I'd use my money to start a non-profit business to make cute shoes in large sizes for us girls with big feet.

 

I am sorry to hear that your wife is dragging her feet though. I have a few friends with a similar problem, and a couple more who's spouses are all-in. Hopefully, your wife will come around. Still, a solid marriage is about compromises and communication. I like to think you'll be able to work things out.

 

No kids for us, but we've had cats since we were married. We're at the legal limit for the city we live in and I adore them all.

 

So yeah, welcome to Transpulse. Feel free to jump in as the mood strikes you!

 

Hugs!

[Carolyn Marie]

Welcome to Trans Pulse, Monique!  It's great to meet you.  I'm a little older than you and transitioned 9 years ago.  So age isn't a barrier to happiness and fulfillment.  I'm really glad to hear that you're wife has been supportive, and I hope that continues as you go on your journey, if that is what you decide to do.  We'll be here for you if ever you have any questions or just need to vent.

 

HUGS

 

Carolyn Marie

[Kylie]

Welcome Monique!

 

I hope you’ll find that each of us have a unique story and love to help one another through the struggles trans individuals face. I am sorry to hear about your wife and her wishes. Hopefully with time that changes and comfort levels change. 
 

Hope to hear more from you!

 

Kylie

[Heather Shay]

@Monique Fish welcome... Almost sounds like I am reading about myself in you are 6 years younger been through similar things and like you each time I tried to repress it it came roaring back. It is so good to hear your wife support and a GOOD therapist, something I finally have now after years and years of different therapist who treated depression and anxiety but not gender euphoria. And like you, I have found transpulse to have the most amazing ladies in the world and I think the world of them and their support. Welcome home Monique. And I love your name.

Heather Shay

[Ashley0616]

On 10/1/2020 at 2:17 PM, Monique Fish said:

Greetings Everyone,

 

I am Monique and have been lurking out here the last few weeks reading posts and learning about this site and picking up important information. I am impressed with the openness and level of support I see from folks here. 

 

A little about myself. I was AMAB and was born in 1958, so I am a little  more on the mature side. I have been married to my wife for 30 years this month. We have three kids and five cats.  The last of the kids moved out and into their own home in the last two months.

 

I have dealt with gender dysphoria for as long as I can remember. I have been in therapy several different times to deal with my gender dysphoria. After a 8 year break I just started seeing a therapist who really gets it. She knows what the standards are for transition, etc. but says they sometimes are barriers and don't always meet people where they are at. She follow them because that is what insurance companies, etc. expect. 

 

This past week I went back into therapy because the dysphoria and reached new levels and was interfering with normal live. I dress as Monique as often as I can. Some of my cloths, not a lot, have come to me from my wife. Hard to express how much it means to me when she does this for me. She is not able to bring herself to using my female name, however she was the one that years ago wanted me to be Monique when I was struggling with what my name was. At this point she does not want me out in public and does not want the kids to know. She has not had issues when I use to go to therapy as Monique as long as I was careful and discreet. 

 

One thing I really enjoy is shopping to build my wardrobe. If feels pretty therapeutic. With COVID it has been easier to order for pick up or delivery. I am pretty happy to have found some good stuff in my size. Depending on the brand I come in around a size 14. Shoes are a little more challenging. My shoes are a woman's 13, not a lot of great choices. I can sometimes wear some size 12 wide.

 

I could go on, but I will stop here for now and look forward to learning from everyone here.

 

Thank you to those of you running this site.

 

Monique

 

 

Shoe wise Torrid is an amazing place for our size. Shoecup.com is another. SHEIN and Torrid are amazing for clothing because great quality and cheap prices. Welcome and glad to see that you joined!

[Moira Arista]

Hello Monique,

 

I'm Moira Arista Welcome to Transpulse