BETTER or BITTER ?

[Heather Shay]

Over the years I've come up with a mantra I use whenever life throws something hard at me and I am depressed or anxious or just plain down in the dumps.

 

I tell myself "Better or Bitter." What do I mean by that? Just that with everything in life and all its trials and tribulations - each time you expereince something - you can decide to learn from it and become BETTER or you can become down and even blame the world and every else and become BITTER.

 

When I'm down - I have trained myself to say BITTER OR BETTER. And I choose BETTER and the depression does still happen but each time it lasts a shorter amount of time.

 

Maybe the next time or NOW, if you are down - try my mantra and see if it helps you - like anything else - it takes practice.

 

With Love,

 

Heather Shay

 

 

[Lee H]

Hi Shay

Well, as you can tell, I haven't managed to get anything musical working on my confuser, and the rust is calcifying in my playing. Sorry 'bout that, but hey, I agree:

 

3 hours ago, Shay said:

you can decide to learn from it and become BETTER or you can become down and even blame the world and every else and become BITTER.

I rely heavily on the second line of the Serenity Prayer. I think the only -- repeat, only -- thing we can change is our own attitudes. But we can choose to adopt the attitude we would have if we were a more perfect version of ourselves. For example, instead of ruminating on the injustice and wrongs of everything we think we've suffered, then nursing our resentments, we have the power to change our perception of it all.  Rather than burning up with anger, first at them, next at ourselves for our inability to control everything in the entire civilized universe, we can "accept the [existence of many] things we cannot change" and practice the attitude of a smarter version of ourselves. Then "Fake it 'till you make it." Growing into new and better attitudes takes practice. We don't just instantly become the better version of us, we have to practice the specifics of that attitude. We'll screw up occasionally, but so what? Even Derick Jeter dropped the ball a few times. 

 

So, for what it's worth, that's my take.

~~A big hug from Lee~~

[Heather Shay]

@Lee H wonderfully worded - truer words have not been said.

 

Shay