FTM intro

[TJ Helsom]

Hi, well I am TJ. I am FTM. I had inquired for a program at University of Michigan for the process. I just have never felt comfortable in my own skin to be honest. And I’ve always seen myself as a guy, dressed like one for most part and act like one. So far most of my friends and family that I have told are supportive. Some of them even knew before I had told them.. But the guy I am/was with has been playing with my head about the whole thing. Saying that he will be with me, then four hours later saying he can’t... I just don’t understand how he can make me feel the way that I do? I am confident, I am excited for the transition to begin. I have known that I am a male for 12 years now.. But I’m also nervous for the testosterone part of it... 

[Jackie C.]

Salutations TJ! I'm a daughter of UofM health care myself. Good people one and all.

 

I had a similar experience with some of my friends. I came out. They said, "Well, duh." Then we went back to what we were doing. No drama at all.

 

Your guy... it's hard to be a guy in the Midwest. There's all these pressures to be a certain way. That way rarely includes swapping spit with another guy. He grew up with that pressure crushing his chest. If he doesn't mean to be manipulative and he's trying, great. So long as he's supportive or at least trying to be supportive you can give him a chance. 

If he tries to talk you out of it though... Well, that's about him, not about making you happy. I'll also remind you that you're 24. You have plenty of time to find another guy who appreciates you once you've sprouted facial hair. I know it's a stereotype, but seriously, practically all of you grow well-trimmed beards. ? They're also better than anything *I* could grow when I had T going on so there... go figure.

 

As for T. Yeah, respect the T. It's powerful stuff. However, if it makes you feel like you... embrace it. I look forward to hearing about your journey and getting to know you better. Fist bump!

 

Hugs!

[Gabriel]

Welcome @TJ Helsom!

 

You've landed in an amazing place to lay out doubts and fears, share stories and ask questing. You'll find kindness and support all around from people here.

 

Well, I'm not where you are yet (in terms of going on T, in age I almost double you. Urgh), but I think that if you weren't nervous about T you wouldn't be human.

 

Ask away and share any doubts. There is people here with tons of experience that will help you.

Welcome, and enjoy the ride

[DonkeySocks]

Welcome TJ! Nice to meet you!

[TJ Helsom]

20 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

Salutations TJ! I'm a daughter of UofM health care myself. Good people one and all.

 

I had a similar experience with some of my friends. I came out. They said, "Well, duh." Then we went back to what we were doing. No drama at all.

 

Your guy... it's hard to be a guy in the Midwest. There's all these pressures to be a certain way. That way rarely includes swapping spit with another guy. He grew up with that pressure crushing his chest. If he doesn't mean to be manipulative and he's trying, great. So long as he's supportive or at least trying to be supportive you can give him a chance. 

If he tries to talk you out of it though... Well, that's about him, not about making you happy. I'll also remind you that you're 24. You have plenty of time to find another guy who appreciates you once you've sprouted facial hair. I know it's a stereotype, but seriously, practically all of you grow well-trimmed beards. ? They're also better than anything *I* could grow when I had T going on so there... go figure.

 

As for T. Yeah, respect the T. It's powerful stuff. However, if it makes you feel like you... embrace it. I look forward to hearing about your journey and getting to know you better. Fist bump!

 

Hugs!

Thanks. And both of us agreed to be friends... He broke up with me which I can understand I love him but I’m not like in love with him if that makes any sense.... And my best friend of 12 years literally had me in tears last night when we were talking about me coming out and everything she is sooo supportive. Like my god. 

[Jackie C.]

1 hour ago, TJ Helsom said:

Thanks. And both of us agreed to be friends... He broke up with me which I can understand I love him but I’m not like in love with him if that makes any sense.... And my best friend of 12 years literally had me in tears last night when we were talking about me coming out and everything she is sooo supportive. Like my god. 

 

No, that makes perfect sense. You can love someone without a romantic component to it. There are several people I'd say that I love, but don't need to be physically intimate to have a relationship with. May you and your ex have a long and lovely friendship.

 

Hugs!

[DeeDee]

After moving around a lot when I was younger I effectively made my entire social group in my early 20's; and though we have all moved and done different things, now we are all hitting 40 that closeness we forged has stuck with us, I love them to bits - I am not scared to come out to them as a transwoman now, especially after the latest person reacted by saying, "well actually, that makes so much sense!"

Good friends are hard to come by, but when you get a good one they will stick with you and offer you some good old fashoined constructive criticism too if needed, they are like 99% cis hetero couples. The men I know are the ones I worry about most (though not much in my actual friends) as there seems to be some unwritten challenge to their masculinity when other people are lgbtq+ and I have never been good at putting dongs on the table to prove our manhood (figure of speech)... The good folks will stick with you TJ. Also, pleased to meet you!  

[Jackie C.]

1 hour ago, DeeDee said:

there seems to be some unwritten challenge to their masculinity when other people are lgbtq+ and I have never been good at putting dongs on the table to prove our manhood (figure of speech)...

 

It seems like that would be easier now. I've got one in my nightstand. I'd just have to remember to bring it with me if we were having a contest. ?

 

I get what you mean though. Guys can get weird when they're around a trans person. Especially if we do something like, oh, drop our speaking voice into the floor to make a joke. Society hasn't trained them to be anything other than MANLY so when they see something outside the "normal" parameters they don't know how to react. Sometimes they default to hostility because men. "When in doubt; MAN SMASH!"

 

Hugs!

[DeeDee]

???

[TJ Helsom]

1 hour ago, DeeDee said:

After moving around a lot when I was younger I effectively made my entire social group in my early 20's; and though we have all moved and done different things, now we are all hitting 40 that closeness we forged has stuck with us, I love them to bits - I am not scared to come out to them as a transwoman now, especially after the latest person reacted by saying, "well actually, that makes so much sense!"

Good friends are hard to come by, but when you get a good one they will stick with you and offer you some good old fashoined constructive criticism too if needed, they are like 99% cis hetero couples. The men I know are the ones I worry about most (though not much in my actual friends) as there seems to be some unwritten challenge to their masculinity when other people are lgbtq+ and I have never been good at putting dongs on the table to prove our manhood (figure of speech)... The good folks will stick with you TJ. Also, pleased to meet you!  

Nice to meet ya too. And as weird as it sounds like when people give me crap about me being attracted to peoples personalities more then anything I have always told them to suck my invisible dick . Pardon my language with that but yeah (people in northern Michigan are pretty prejudiced against all of the lgbt and so fourth people). I didn’t realize until recently (I was kinda in denial for a while and scared to say anything as well) that I was a guy. But just this past week I have actually had a lot less anxiety and a lot happier. Now that I’m telling people. 

[Jackie C.]

Oh, I don't know. Nobody hassled me in Claire or Lake George when I was out and about, though we still haven't told my father in law. Granted I was out and about WITH him, but no explanation was given as to the hair, clothes, purse or breasts.

 

I get what you mean though. Back in the before-time I remember that being "gay" was about the same as being radioactive. It's not completely gone either. I had a couple of friends come back from reunions and say, "OMG! Did you know so and so was GAY!?!?" The answer was, "Well no, but now that you bring it up it makes perfect sense." I'm glad things are better. I had a friend's son from Big Rapids just come out as trans. Two years before she and her brother had both come out as bi. Their father was not cool with either bit of news but their mother is supportive.

It's funny, I was surrounded by LGBT+ people my whole life. I like them. My best friend was bi-gender (we're still in touch, though they moved to the East coast). Even so they were mostly too afraid to tell me anything for twenty years. I'm glad things are getting better.

 

Hugs!

[TJ Helsom]

2 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

Oh, I don't know. Nobody hassled me in Claire or Lake George when I was out and about, though we still haven't told my father in law. Granted I was out and about WITH him, but no explanation was given as to the hair, clothes, purse or breasts.

 

I get what you mean though. Back in the before-time I remember that being "gay" was about the same as being radioactive. It's not completely gone either. I had a couple of friends come back from reunions and say, "OMG! Did you know so and so was GAY!?!?" The answer was, "Well no, but now that you bring it up it makes perfect sense." I'm glad things are better. I had a friend's son from Big Rapids just come out as trans. Two years before she and her brother had both come out as bi. Their father was not cool with either bit of news but their mother is supportive.

It's funny, I was surrounded by LGBT+ people my whole life. I like them. My best friend was bi-gender (we're still in touch, though they moved to the East coast). Even so they were mostly too afraid to tell me anything for twenty years. I'm glad things are getting better.

 

Hugs!

Alpena Michigan is where I’m from. For awhile it was a retirement town . But my generation has gotten it to expand but there is still a lot of close-minded people there 

[Jackie C.]

There are close minded people everywhere. On the plus side, you're young and FtM. Most people will see you just like any other guy sooner than you think.

 

Hugs!

[Ivy]

Hi TJ, Welcome

[Timber Wolf]

Hi TJ,

Welcome to Transpulse. I'm glad you're here!

 

Lots of love and a big welcome hug,

Timber Wolf?