First appointment and impatience

[Synthara]

Hey,

 

i had my first appointment with a therapist last friday, yay . The stupdid thing here is, that i now have to wait until January 22nd for the next one. It is quite hard here to get a place in therapy. Covid just made it even harder than before. In my country you got three sessions to set an indication and can then start therapy if your healthcare provider accepts. 

The first session was quite good, we could take and time flew. He is a well known Gendertherapist, that's why i chose him. But i also have a lot more issues than that and we talked just 5 min about gender. I'm a bit anxious to not get enough space for this topic, because it is so important to me right now. The impatience is killing me. How do you deal with that? I want to move forward and finally become my true self. I know, one step after another and take it slowly, but how exactly deal with it?

 

Best, 

Synthara

[Jackie C.]

Impatience is a real problem once we get on the right track. I mean we finally started making progress. We want results YESTERDAY!

 

Unfortunately, it doesn't work like that. You've got to navigate the labyrinth and it's designed to slow us down and keep us from making any rash decisions. The idea is to keep any of us from turning into our preferred gender on a weekend bender or something. Then you can start on actual treatment. Which isn't any faster (unless you've got WAY better drugs in Germany than we do in the states). There isn't an easy fix. This is a slow process. The best you can do is meditate on the progress you are making and count the days until you can take your next step.

 

Hugs!

[Robin.C]

Oh, this has brought me back to the beginning again.

Wanting transition NOW ! I've lost count of my therapy sessions but it can't be that many (mental arithmetic, 5 months, 1 a month, maybe 5 or 6 ?
). Anyhow where was I, oh yeah it takes time and someone much wiser that I said to use the time to work on being a better female version of you. Since transition takes 3, 6 or more years to become who you are .. and she asked the question are we really ever done transitioning ?

Meditation will help calm and focus, activity will make time fly afterall the journey is what shapes us not the destination.

 

Hugs

Robin

[DeeDee]

2 hours ago, Robin.C said:

use the time to work on being a better female version of you. Since transition takes 3, 6 or more years to become who you are .. and she asked the question are we really ever done transitioning ?

Yup, it is a marathon not a sprint. You will be surprised what you can do to help yourself.  Most of my, "what if I'm not trans but it's actually just...." questions were answered between my phone call to the GIC and actually getting my initial appointment 8 months later. It was another 6-8 months before I actually spoke to a gender counsellor. 

List yout doubts or worries or personal issues and start working on them now, along with all of those times when you felt pressure to conform to your gender role or someone noticed you had stepped outside of it. It will make it faster when you speak to your therapist and they see you have already looked at these things and aren't just trying to skim past them which will not help you in the long run anyway.

[KayC]

Hi @Synthara
I know exactly how you feel.  My first therapy session was wonderful and liberating, then had to wait weeks for the next one do to some Covid restrictions.  But, it was worth it (and now more regular visits).
I try to use my hobbies to keep me busy between sessions .. feels like being productive helps the time go by faster ... and also finding any small thing I can do to feel like I am making progress towards transition (like shopping for something new to wear?)

 

Wishing you the best in your future sessions and personal progress❣️

[Synthara]

@Jackie C. yea meditation did a good thing in the past fighting depression. I will try it again.

 

@KayC work and the newborn keeping me busy, but my thoughts are always going back to transitioning. Have appointments for laser hair removal but they are closed this month (pandemic) and it looks like they won't open till january/february ?.

Shopping is really great, planing outfits, watching make-up tutorials and try something new every day. (also learning to walk in high heels is really fun!) It's prgress after all  . From time to time the beautiful clothes increase my disphoria however.