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Kestrel McLoughlin

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Kestrel McLoughlin

By the way...... I'm sorry if this is TMI.... is it weird for gender euphoria to be arousing?


Every time thus far I mostly strongly feel like myself, like I'm the woman I feel I am, whether as a result of donning a blouse or leggings or curly hair, there's a low-grade arousal that results for a long while. I'm not sure whether that's evidence that this is all some fetish of mine (one of my fears), or whether it's just a result of a flood of joy-related hormones that I've deprived myself of my whole life.


Thoughts? It's okay to tell me it's just me, that this isn't a Thing That Happens. That's data, that's important to know...

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Carolyn Marie

I don't think its unusual to have that kind of reaction, hon.  There is often sexual feelings associated with thoughts or activities of cross dressing or thinking about the woman inside; exactly why I'm not sure.  As long as we don't get more explicit than that in this discussion it will be fine.


Carolyn Marie

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Kestrel McLoughlin

Thanks! I needed that reaffirmation.


I think I'm going to enjoy deciding to curl my hair on some days... what possibilities!

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Dressing Femme does not do anything like that for me.  Its when the wife and I talk about furthering changes that I get that.  Since I finally accepted me about 2 months ago we have had a few ups and downs, but when we are on the upside I feel much better and excited in many ways.  Hoping to get to find a doctor sometime soon to get the ball rolling.

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4 hours ago, Kestrel McLoughlin said:

I'm not sure whether that's evidence that this is all some fetish of mine (one of my fears), or whether it's just a result of a flood of joy-related hormones that I've deprived myself of my whole life

I think your fear is quite common.  It has helped me to remember that a feminine leaning brain combined with a male libido is bound to cause some confusion, made worse by any repression or shame connected to it.


I had to look for clues beyond sexual arousal to satisfy myself that I'm not just a deviant of some kind.  It turns out that there are many such clues.  In fact, I think your post about 'snugglefuzz' is a perfect example.


I'm no psychologist, but I think if it were just a fetish, those other proclivities wouldn't be necessary.  And if it is stimulating, so what.  Who's idea of what's deviant am I adopting as my own?  I know I'm not a sicko.  I may be a little different, but I want the best for people, and that makes me just fine.

My two cents.

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As Carolyn noted its not unusual.  I think its related to the testosterone in the body.  If and when you go on HRT it will pretty much stop.  I would not call it a fetish at this point.  As Ann kind of talked of, there would be other cues.  Don't worry.



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Kestrel McLoughlin

Thanks everyone.


There's been talk of a "male libido" and HRT. Does estrogen really commonly plummet your sex drive? I'm no cad, I'm no lech, but intimacy is a strong part of my romantic landscape, and those feelings are even part of who I am outside of acting on them. I wonder what it will mean...

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  • Forum Moderator

I think estrogen changes your sex drive.  The responses aren't the same as male.  I find intimacy more important now than ever.  

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9 hours ago, Kestrel McLoughlin said:

or whether it's just a result of a flood of joy-related hormones that I've deprived myself of my whole life.

One of my good friends (she's cis and hetero) has told me that it (woman equivalent) happens to her on occasion when she finds that oh so perfect outfit. We've had some very risque conversations over the years. I think it's that OMG I look so cute and femme feeling that causes it and is relatively normal. I wouldn't worry too much about it.

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Vanessa Michelle

While I am a total newbie here, I agree there is something about even wearing an undergarment for your target gender. I have read from others here that feel the same way I do that it does something to you. It validates and affirms who we are and we, for lack of a better term, feel feminine! That feeling can manifest in an affirming, happy euphoria as it does for me, the likes of which I cannot explain, or it can manifest in an erotically euphoric feeling. I don't think either or any other are abnormal, just individual. I am sure as Jani said, that when one takes HRT those feelings will go away, as we are now more fully becoming who we were meant to be and the euphoria previously held will logically and medically wear off and probably be replaced by new feelings and joy as we see our physical bodies ever coming into agreement with who we knew we were all along. I love that this place exists and that it is safe and welcoming to be able to ask all these things we would otherwise have no way of knowing. ❤️

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Hi Kestrel!

19 hours ago, Kestrel McLoughlin said:

m not sure whether that's evidence that this is all some fetish of mine (one of my fears), or whether it's just a result of a flood of joy-related hormones that I've deprived myself of my whole life.

From my experience those are feelings I have had and still do experience, but much less than before.  I think much of it might have been the leftover connection to arousal and sexual awakening I had as a teenager when I first started secretly crossdressing at home. 

When that desire reemerged late in life and I came out to myself (first) then my wife and I was able to crossdress in private at home, it was definitely a lot of pent up erotic fulfillment.

But over time the fetish part of crossdressing did not really explain a continuing emotional desire to to accept and embrace my basic femininity.  I have now been able to look at the erotic part of presenting feminine as part of my sexuality, and accepting myself as transfeminine as part of my gender identity. 

I think they can co-exist.  My therapist seems to think so also.  So, enjoy yourself however you like, without fear or guilt.

Hope that helps❣️

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  • 1 month later...
magical realism

As far as I understand thats perfectly normal for all women. I think I read somewhere that those kind of low grade feelings are from liking how you look,when you feel attractive and confident about yourself and really great about yourself you get strong attractive feelings. Cause feeling sexy is sexy. I think a lot of women get that way sometimes on a good day from what I understand.

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