Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Intros and hellos


Neoncat

Recommended Posts

Hi everybody, I'm Ellie!

 

I'm thirty years old and AMAB. It wasn't until about a year ago that I finally accepted that I don't identify as a man, but a woman. I had some suspicions for a while, but without a way to find out or ask questions (I lived in a not so accepting place, so even questioning gender wouldn't go over well). So, I took to the internets to find answers to questions I never bothered asking before. I was worried what answers I'd find, because part of me wondered if it would just be easier to keep lying to myself than to go through with all the changes I wanted (and still want) to make. Turns out it wasn't easier, I just ended up feeling completely dead inside after a while. One thing I learned that started me down the right path when I didn't know who I was yet was finding out that even wondering about your own gender isn't something most people even consider let alone question. Since then, I've been trying to live more true to myself. I changed out a lot of my old wardrobe with new clothing. I picked a new name for myself. I learned how to use makeup and that's been a big improvement. I even came out to most of my close friends. And once I'd realized the truth, a lot of my life started to retroactively make a whole lot more sense; stuff started to click. But I still feel lost and don't know what I should do or who I should talk to, which is how I came across these forums. I moved from georgia to washington this month and I don't really know anyone in the area so I was feeling particularly lonely and wanted to find a place I could express myself. I joined a few days ago but haven't had the courage to post an intro until now. Hopefully I maintain this courage and become a more active member. Thanks for having me here!

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Salutations @Neoncat! Welcome to Transpulse!

 

Your story will resonate with a lot of the girls here. I grew up in the 70's and 80's. Those weren't very tolerant places either. ? At least they weren't in the Midwest. Congratulations on figuring things out decades before I did.

 

Please feel free to join the discussion. Chime in. Ask questions! Obey the forum rules! We're glad you're here.

 

Hugs!

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
4 hours ago, Neoncat said:

Since then, I've been trying to live more true to myself. I changed out a lot of my old wardrobe with new clothing. I picked a new name for myself. I learned how to use makeup and that's been a big improvement. I even came out to most of my close friends. And once I'd realized the truth, a lot of my life started to retroactively make a whole lot more sense; stuff started to click.

Wow, that’s an incredible amount of change in a short period. I applaud you for being able to recognize the problem and be able to move to taking active steps toward living authentically as you! 

4 hours ago, Neoncat said:

I moved from georgia to washington this month and I don't really know anyone in the area so I was feeling particularly lonely and wanted to find a place I could express myself.

Howdy Neighbor! Heck, I practically live up the road from ya! Must be difficult making all these changes during a pandemic. Although, I will say Washington state (mainly western WA) is a great place to find acceptance and/or affirmation. It’s both an opportunity and struggle as you can (eventually) express yourself with a new set of people with no preset expectations of who you are. On the other hand, due to covid, there are restrictions in how you can go about doing this. It may take a bit more time getting to know people in your area but you can still get a lot done on your journey without socialization. But I have to be honest, the social aspect of transition is what I miss the most during this pandemic. Hopefully, that will change soon. In the meantime, enjoy yourself here and learn more about who you are with the help, advice and friendship you’ll find here on our forum.

 

Warmest Regards,

Susan R?

 

 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Hello Elie and welcome.  Being new to an area as Susan notes can be difficult and the virus protections make a little tougher but I can tell you'll persevere and be successful.  Please join in the conversation.

 

Jani

 

Link to comment

Hi Ellie!  nice to meet you, and Welcome! 

16 hours ago, Neoncat said:

even wondering about your own gender isn't something most people even consider let alone question.

Yep!  You found the "Secret".  I am certain cis-gender humans have no clue about our feelings, and why would they?  I think this is the first step from going from "Questioning" to self-acceptance and affirmation of your true gender identity.


Gender therapy was the next step for me, something recommended by the experience of many on this Forum, and that I can attest to as essential in my personal growth and confidence I am on the right path.

I am sure you are still getting settled in.  I hope you can find something in your area, and specially a Community you can connect with.  In the meantime, this is a great place to share, and learn from the experiences of others.

 

Deep breaths ... one step at a time

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Hi Ellie,

Welcome to Transpulse. I'm glad you're here!

 

Lots of love and a big welcome hug,

Timber Wolf?

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Welcome Ellie.  Hope you enjoy your time here.  Simply knowing i'm not alone helped me.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Link to comment

Hi Ellie, and welcome from someone who is going in the opposite direction. We are all here (nbs too) to share our perspectives, struggles and support. 

 

You've landed in a great place. 

Link to comment

Thanks for the support and the advice! I'm going to start looking into gender therapy and figuring out the next steps I want to take. Its a tough journey but it's 100% worth the hardship if I'm happier and more comfortable with myself as I progress (which has already been the case thus far)

 

^_^

Link to comment

Hi Ellie, welcome to this great place. I fought the woman within for nearly 65 years and have let her out, little by little over the past 5 years or so. I have accepted that I am transgender. The girl in me is tolerated by my wife but I’m not really out to my daughters or anyone else for that matter.

 

Sounds like you have taken very positive steps to accept who you are. I hope you are able to connect with a positive group in Washington. COVID will not be with us for ever. Be carful and enjoy life. Every day is a gift.

 

Hugs

 

Sandra

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   2 Members, 0 Anonymous, 102 Guests (See full list)

    • RaineOnYourParade
    • MaeBe
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      768.4k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,025
    • Most Online
      8,356

    JamesyGreen
    Newest Member
    JamesyGreen
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Anyatimenow
      Anyatimenow
      (23 years old)
    2. Aria00
      Aria00
    3. Ava B.
      Ava B.
      (24 years old)
    4. Claire Heshi
      Claire Heshi
    5. CrystalMatthews0426
      CrystalMatthews0426
      (41 years old)
  • Posts

    • violet r
      I firmly believe I drank entirely to much for about 25 years. Got drunk every day. This was my coping mechanism to keep hiding deep inside that I was a woman. I miss a lot of signs over the years. Now I drink mabye 1 or 2 beers a day don't even get a buzz anymore. totally accept myself and on regret is that I hide that part of my self which  truly makes me happy being violet 💜. I wasted a lot of time before  being self destructive and had no clue I was just hiding th real me
    • Adrianna Danielle
      Service manager at goes through that here.One was a belt change in a 2019 Kenworth.It was written on the work order including a service done and I seen it.Customer was a complete a-hole.I did it and said he did not want that done.Shown him the original work order and finally said the service manager was right.My boss had to get rid of two customers,always complained about their bill being a little high.Price of parts went up due to inflation and had to explain this to them
    • Tiffany 838
      Well it not morning and I haven’t been on her for a while but it’s nice to be back.  Did some catching up on everyone.  I do have a question, how is Toronto Canada for a get away? Is it a safe and friendly area for us to go.  The wife and I are looking for some where to go to allow me to be my true self.     thanks in advance
    • KymmieL
      Hey, everyone. my life is going down the tubes. at least I think. So, today. A customer called about his car, I told him that the oil change was done. The parts to fix the check engine light are ordered. He can come and get it. For the weekend if he wants. Customer says I didn't want an oil change. it was check the engine light and check for an oil leak. Checking the work order says oil change. The boss wrote the vehicle up. checking with the customer on services wanted.   Being that I wrote down the appointment in the book. and clearly states oil leak. She is complaining because she can't read my small ish writing. It seems she read oil and assumed it as an oil change. It seems like she is blaming me.  She wound up going home because she was too upset. She is stressing about an eye problem she has, she has to get eye surgery it seems she has a tear in her eye.    I feel that I am short for this job. because of the BS they are blaming me on. Plus I am still upset about the trust issue. If either one of the bosses start their Shite tomorrow. I am walking out.    
    • Davie
    • Abigail Genevieve
      "I love you so much,"  Lois said.  They met in the driveway. "I could not live without you." "Neither could I." "What are we going to do?" "Find another counselor?" "No. I think we need to solve this ourselves." "Do you think we can?" "I don't know.  But what I know is that I don't want to go through that again.  I think we have to hope we can find a solution." "Otherwise, despair." "Yeah.   Truce?" "Okay,  truce." And they hugged.   "When we know what we want we can figure out how to get there."   That began six years of angry battles, with Odie insisted he could dress as he pleased and Lois insisting it did not please her at all.  He told her she was not going to control him and she replied that she still had rights as a wife to a husband. Neither was willing to give in, neither was willing to quit, and their heated arguments ended in hugs and more.   They went to a Crossdressers' Club, where they hoped to meet other couples with the same problems, the same conflicts, and the same answers, if anyone had any.  It took them four tries before they settled on a group that they were both willing to participate in.  This was four couples their own age, each with a cross dressing husband and a wife who was dealing with it.  They met monthly.  It was led by a 'mediator' who wanted people to express how they felt about the situation.  Odie and Lois, as newcomers, got the floor, and the meeting was finally dismissed at 1:30 in the morning - it was supposed to be over at 10 - and everyone knew how they felt about the situation.   There was silence in the car on the way home.   "We aren't the only ones dealing with this." Odie finally said.   "Who would have thought that?  You are right."   "Somebody out there has a solution." "I hope you are right."   "I hope in hope, not in despair."   "That's my Odie."    
    • Abigail Genevieve
      The counseling session was heated, if you could call it a counseling session.  Sometimes Lois felt he was on Odie's side, and sometimes on hers.  When he was on her side, Odie got defensive. She found herself being defensive when it seemed they were ganging up on each other.   "This is not working," Lois said angrily, and walked out.  "Never again. I want my husband back. Dr. Smith you are complicit in this."   "What?" said Odie.   The counselor looked at him.  "You will have to learn some listening skills."   "That is it? Listening skills?  You just destroyed my marriage, and you told me I need to learn listening skills?"   Dr. Smith said calmly,"I think you both need to cool off."   Odie looked at him and walked out, saying "And you call yourself a counselor."   "Wait a minute."   "No."
    • Ashley0616
      Just a comfortable gray sweater dress and some sneakers. Nothing special today. 
    • VickySGV
      I do still carry a Swiss Army knife along with my car keys.  
    • Timi
      Jeans and a white sweater. And cute white sneakers. Delivering balloons to a bunch of restaurants supporting our LGBT Community Center fundraiser today!
    • April Marie
      Congratulations to you!!!This is so wonderful!!
    • missyjo
      I've no desire to present androgynous..nothing wrong with it but I am a girl n wish to present as a girl. shrugs, if androgynous works fir others good. always happy someone finds a solution or happiness    today black jeans  black wedges..purple camisole under white n black polka dot blouse half open   soft smile to all 
    • MaeBe
      I have read some of it, mostly in areas specifically targeted at the LGBTQ+ peoples.   You also have to take into account what and who is behind the words, not just the words themselves. Together that creates context, right? Let's take some examples, under the Department of Health & Human Services section:   "Radical actors inside and outside government are promoting harmful identity politics that replaces biological sex with subjective notions of “gender identity” and bases a person’s worth on his or her race, sex, or other identities. This destructive dogma, under the guise of “equity,” threatens American’s fundamental liberties as well as the health and well-being of children and adults alike."   or   "Families comprised of a married mother, father, and their children are the foundation of a well-ordered nation and healthy society. Unfortunately, family policies and programs under President Biden’s HHS are fraught with agenda items focusing on “LGBTQ+ equity,” subsidizing single-motherhood, disincentivizing work, and penalizing marriage. These policies should be repealed and replaced by policies that support the formation of stable, married, nuclear families."   From a wording perspective, who doesn't want to protect the health and well-being of Americans or think that families aren't good for America? But let's take a look at the author, Roger Severino. He's well-quoted to be against LGBTQ+ anything, has standard christian nationalist views, supports conversion therapy, etc.   So when he uses words like "threatens the health and well-being of children and adults alike" it's not about actual health, it's about enforcing cis-gendered ideology because he (and the rest of the Heritage Foundation) believe LGBTQ+ people and communities are harmful. Or when he invokes the family through the lens of, let's just say dog whistles including the "penalization of marriage" (how and where?!), he idealizes families involving marriage of a "biological male to a biological female" and associates LGBTQ+ family equity as something unhealthy.   Who are the radical actors? Who is telling people to be trans, gay, or queer in general? No one. The idea that there can be any sort of equity between LGBTQ+ people and "normal" cis people is abhorrent to the author, so the loaded language of radical/destructive/guise/threaten are used. Families that he believes are "good" are stable/well-ordered/healthy, specifically married/nuclear ones.   Start looking into intersectionality of oppression of non-privileged groups and how that affects the concept of the family and you will understand that these platitudes are thinly veiled wrappers for christian nationalist ideology.   What's wrong with equity for queer families, to allow them full rights as parents, who are bringing up smart and able children? Or single mothers who are working three jobs to get food on plates?
    • Ashley0616
      Well yesterday didn't work like I wanted to. I met a guy and started talking and he was wanting to be in a relationship. I asked my kids on how they thought of me dating a man and they said gross and said no. I guess it's time to look for women. I think that is going to be harder. Oh well I guess.  
    • Ashley0616
      I don't have anything in my dress pocket

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...