Finally, Progress! -- and the anxieties that come with it.

[Wrightful]

I have always known that I wanted top surgery since I realized I was trans, and I always felt like it was out of my reach. I fought with my insurance, fought to raise funds on my own, and just finally made some breakthroughs. 

 

My insurance has given me criteria for coverage as of last year, and I started a GoFundMe on my own two months ago, and exceeded my goal within a month! I was so overwhelmed by the way in which my community, which is not heavily involved in LGBT+ affairs, supported me wholeheartedly. So now I have the financial means, which was my only obstacle, to pursue top surgery! I'm thrilled!

 

With that, of course, comes all sorts of feelings. I'm scared of losing my nipples, worried about scar contour, I'm worried about getting COVID before my surgery date, and above all, I'm feeling such a void of engagement and content of other trans voices to celebrate with. I feel hungry to engage with things made by people like me-- youtube videos, books, articles-- yet no one close to me can provide that. I've been filling it as much as I can on my own, but it hasn't been entirely satisfying. 

 

So I'm both excited and anxious, and am doing my best to sit in those feelings as much as I can. 

[Jackie C.]

So congratulations? I admit I have similar anxiety over potential top surgery (though mine would go the other way). Sensitivity, scar tissue and appearance are all valid concerns. As is the extra anxiety because we're in the middle of a freaking pandemic and WAY too many people aren't taking that seriously.

 

But. You have the funds. They're earmarked for your surgery. It's happening. It might be happening later than you like because of circumstances outside your control, but it's happening.

 

I gotta say though, I don't know where you live but we're about .5% of the population. Asking to have more than a couple in your friend group is just greedy. I mean OK, I have three but I've known one of them since we were sperm and the other two just sort of happened.

 

Plenty of content out there by trans youtubers though. Enjoy!

 

Hugs!

[TTheta]

Congrats!! 

 

I can understand the virus concern, my family has been taking eXtREME caution which I don't mind because I won't get sick haha. 

 

Do keep up updated when you get your surgery, I would love to know how it goes, and which style the scars are in :DD

[Heather Shay]

@Wrightful welcome - although I'm going the other way - I think it is amazing you received funds for top surgery so quiclkly. You should be extremely proud. You are experiencing anxiety, etc. and that is normal. Don't worry (easier said than done) all of us feel that even if we are 100% sure we need to progress in us transition.

I think you will find Elliot Page coming out a wonderful boom to coverage in the media and videos. There are many your age and FTM's who will understand and dialog with you here. Keep reaching out.

Finally I am proud of you - if you want some great YouTube videos - check Dr. Z Phd Gender Therapist - she is a great resource for understanding and dealing with ALL aspects of transition for trans individuals. Check her out.

Good luck, know you are welcome and I wish you well as you transition.

[Wrightful]

@Jackie C.

 

Thank you for the well wishes, validations, and celebrations! I am certainly grateful that it's happening, and I'm grateful for the trans people I have in my life however close or distant.

[Wrightful]

@Aidan5

 

Thanks so much for the validation and good vibes! I'll be sure to post an update when it happens!

[TTheta]

1 hour ago, Wrightful said:

@Aidan5

 

Thanks so much for the validation and good vibes! I'll be sure to post an update when it happens!

Very pog champ. I look forward to hearing about it :DD

[Wrightful]

@Shay

 

Thanks Shay! I'll be sure to check out that channel recommendation, and I'm doing my best to control the anxieties and celebrate the small wins. 

 

I really appreciate the celebration and warmth of your reply! I hope your own journey is going as well as it can!

[TTheta]

Oh and also I have been informed that you should shave your armpits before you go into surgery, so when they wrap you up, it won't pull on the hairs and cause pain or discomfort

[Wrightful]

1 hour ago, Aidan5 said:

Oh and also I have been informed that you should shave your armpits before you go into surgery, so when they wrap you up, it won't pull on the hairs and cause pain or discomfort

 

Haha, I've heard this too! It feels like there's a million things to juggle while I prepare!

[TTheta]

Maybe it could help to make a list, or thread on here to help keep all the thought in one place :DD 

 

And for others to use in the future (I know I will, when I get there)

[Heather Shay]

@Wrightful thank you - I can tell you are a warm and caring person and I look forward to us helping each other through our trying times.