Intoducing Miranda

[miz miranda]

Hi Everyone,

 

I’m Miranda. I’m 66 and was AMAB. I have no recollection ever being concerned about my gender identity but at 64 I suddenly began to question myself. I had a deep intense feeling that I was a woman and after some research I decide to have a makeover photo shoot as a woman. It was a life altering experience. I experienced blissful euphoria seeing myself and it resonated deeply. I still feel calm when I view those pictures.

 

I list myself as questioning because it also caused great fear and shame, guilt and denial. In my heart, I believe I am a transgender woman but have not accepted it. I have little memory of childhood and adolescence so I struggle with where these feeling com from so suddenly. I did not have a happy childhood and have always felt an outcast. I have as always felt negatively about myself and really hate seeing myself in the mirror or pictures. Until I had the makeover, I had never felt any dysphoria, but began to do so afterwards.

 

The isolation of this year has made the dysphoria and euphoria more intense. I am happily married for 42 years to the best human being I know and father of three children, which is the basis of many fears.

 

I’m here because I have admitted that I need to face this. This is a first step in exploring Miranda and myself. I hoping to get the advice and benefit of your life experiences as I navigate this challenge. I hope to find some friends and guides as well as helping others where I can.

 

I am a retired wireless system engineer and spent most of my career working of mobile technology and emergency radio systems (Police and fire). I began working of mobile phones before we had any networks in the US and was able to see much of the world. I am an avid triathlete; though at my age I’m not fast but I am persistent. I love music, reading, math and learning.

 

As a male I am very introverted and don’t say much. I am learning to communicate more freely.

 

Thank you for listening. Looking forward to getting know all of you.

 

Miranda

 

 

[Audrey]

It's wonderful to meet you, Miranda! That's such a heartfelt and deeply personal story and thank you for sharing it with all of us in your introduction. I relate very much to how very difficult it can be to accept myself honestly as a trans woman - I didn't accept it for decades, and even actively resisted and denied it at times. Like you, the pandemic also pushed me to finally embrace who I am, come out, and now I'm transitioning. I'm hopeful you'll find the support and community you're seeking as you reflect on your identity and what it means to you. Everyone here is super warm and friendly. I look forward to getting to know you!

 

Love,

~Audrey.

[Ann W]

Welcome @miz miranda.

You've found a great place to talk openly about your questioning.  I think you'll find you have a lot in common with people here.

[Mmindy]

Welcome @miz mirandayou're among like minded people here. All who have interacted with me and my troubling issues with pushing the closet door open on my transgender questions have been kind and most of all helpful.

 

Hugs, (masked)

 

Mindy???

[Ivy]

Welcome Miranda.

There's a lot of us who only come to find ourselves later in life.  

[KathyLauren]

Hi, Miranda.  Welcome!

 

I am 66 as well.  Figuring it out late in life is more common than you would think.  I was 62 when I started transitioning.

 

This is a great place to ask questions, share experiences, or even to just vent.

 

Regards,

Kathy

[Jani]

Hello Miranda.  I'm your age and as Kathy said figuring it out later in life is not uncommon.  Please join in and ask any questions you may have.  You'll find this to be a good group. 

 

Jani

[Astrid]

Welcome, @Miranda!  Glad you took the time to join and introduce yourself here.  Good luck as you work through the next steps on your journey.  We'll be here for you.  Many of us have had similar experiences to yours, or have taken steps that you're considering.

 

With best wishes,

 

Astrid

[Bri2020]

15 hours ago, miz miranda said:

Hi Everyo

 

The isolation of this year has made the dysphoria and euphoria more intense. I am happily married for 42 years to the best human being I know and father of three children, which is the basis of many fears.

 

I’m here because I have admitted that I need to face this. This is a first step in exploring Miranda and myself. I hoping to get the advice and benefit of your life experiences as I navigate this challenge. I hope to find some friends and guides as well as helping others where I can.Miranda

 

 

Welcome Miranda!

There's certainly a lot of us whom the Covid lockdown has made us look a little deeper and stripped away some of our ability to deny or ignore things.  Many of us here on TGP discovered things about ourselves later in life.  I'm in that boat at 54.  Have been happily married and have kids in their 20s.  

It's a very personal journey and you will have to navigate a lot of choices, many that are difficult and have consequences. Some of those will be positive, some challenging.  

Personally, I jumped fully into acceptance because for me, the alternative of not being true to myself would become toxic for me and those around me. I am very lucky to have had amazing support from everyone in my life and have never been happier.  You will also find others here with similar experiences. You will also find others here where it has not been so smooth.  The point being, it's your journey, you will have to navigate your journey in the best way for you.  I wish you the best, don't let bad stories dissuade you. Like everything else in life, you will always hear more bad stories than good. Happy stories are less likely to be told, especially on forums and other media sites.  I recommend looking up Jackie Rabbit's youtube channel.https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCcyEcbwO2w3r0clHQ5UJ_6Q She's wonderful and honest about her journey later in life.  Dr Z on youtube has some great insight as well from a clinical view. 

Welcome again to this amazing community and reach out anytime.

Hugs

Bri

[Elizabeth Star]

Hi Miranda,

I always get excited when another person from Illinois joins TP. Although everyone seems to live way South of me.

[Timber Wolf]

Hi Miranda,

Welcome to Transpulse. I'm glad you're here!

 

Lots of love and a big welcome hug,

Timber Wolf?

[Heather Shay]

@Miranda so glad you came and I know you will find wonderful kindred spirits here.

 

[miz miranda]

Thank you all for a warm welcome! I already feel comfortable here. For the first time in a long while, I woke up and was truly happy to be me.

 

"got me locked up in chains
And they ain't the kind that you can see"   from the song Chains

 

I would like to hug you all.

 

Miranda

[Heather Shay]

What a TRUE song to list here. 

 

Your avatar shows a very beautiful woman...

 

 

[DonkeySocks]

You sound like a lovely, articulate person. I wish you the best in communicating your new knowledge of yourself to your wife and kids, if you decide to do so. Glad to meet you.

[Vanessa Michelle]

Hey @miz miranda and welcome to the group! As @ElizabethStarsaid, it's always nice to meet another Illinoisan on here! Yay! And another techie! This a great place to dig deeper into all of your questions. It's safe, welcoming and we all care about and for one another so please feel free to ask whatever you'd like and get to know others as well. I'm glad you found us and decided to join in! Also, thanks for sharing your story and journey with us! Bless you! ❤️