Hi from Jamie

[JamieGee]

Hi everyone, I am Jamie.  I am new to the site and very happy to be here.

 

A little about myself.  I am 45 years old and born male.  My story is probably going to sound familiar to many of you here.  From as early as I can remember, I felt that I was female.  Around the age of 12, I started dressing as a girl, mostly in private, wearing panties and a bra under my clothes, painting my toes, shaving my legs, etc.  I never thought of it as cross dressing.  Rather, just being me.  I continued this well in to high school until it became difficult to hide.  Any of you that were born in the '70's and attended school in the 80's and early '90's know that it could have been very difficult if my classmates found out.  I couldn't take the chance of being noticed during gym class or in the locker room.  So, I stopped.

 

I ended up hiding my true self for many years.  Once I entered college, I tried my best to be a man.  In some ways, I think that I went out of my way to overcompensate.  I started working out, bodybuilding, and spending hours in the gym.  I ended up meeting a wonderful woman who I married and have two children together.

 

Lately, a lot of those old feelings have been coming back.  It is becoming increasingly difficult to hide myself from myself from myself if that makes any sense.  I realize that I have a long way to go to understanding where I am, how I fit, and exactly how I want to live my life.  But, I need to start somewhere and admitting to myself that I am Jamie is the first step.

 

Thanks for providing a place to discuss my journey and I appreciate all of the experiences that you may have to share.

 

With Love,

 

Jamie  

[Jackie C.]

Ah yes, that is a very familiar story. I'm pretty sure I could recite a lot of it. Sure, I'd get some of the details wrong but I think I could hit the main beats.

 

So yeah, born in 1970. Turns out my best friend from grade 7 was bigender. Neither of us came out until much later. We both felt stupid, but hey we're closer now and can talk about trans stuff. Their makeup skills are way better than mine though. So not fair.

 

Oh, there's a difference, I didn't start bodybuilding until after transition. ?

No kids either, unless you count the furry ones. I'm looking forward to becoming a differently sane feline collector of the feminine persuasion.

Oh, hated locker rooms. I'm more comfortable now, but I skipped gym for an entire semester in junior high.

 

So hey, I'm Robyn (Jackie is my middle name). Welcome to TransPulse. This is a safe place. We look forward to helping answer your questions as best we can. We're glad you're here. Feel free to post and join the discussion as the mood strikes you. No pressure. Welcome aboard!

 

Hugs!

[Audrey]

Hi Jamie, welcome! It's wonderful to meet you. I read your post and found myself nodding - your feelings and experiences mirror my own in so many ways. I also resisted and denied my true identity for many years, even though I was sure on the inside after putting together the clues from my past. Like you, I hid it from everybody, and I paid the price for that emotionally for a long time. The thing about gender dysphoria is that it never really goes away, at least for me it sure didn't. It was always there, pulling at my mind, body, and soul. I only recently truly accepted it, came out, and started to transition to life as a woman.

 

I look forward to getting to know you better! You will find a warm and supportive community here to support you.

 

Love,

~Audrey.

[JamieGee]

Thank you both for the warm welcome.   It means so much to know that there are others out there that can fully relate.

 

I'm in a great place right now and look forward to joining in the many discussions here in the future.  

[Vanessa Michelle]

Hey @JamieGeeand welcome to the group! I can identify with a lot of your story, as it's been very similar to mine. I am also 45, married with kids and just recently realized it's ok to be me and working on figuring out what I'm going to do about it. Watching Jackie Rabbit @jae bear on YouTube led me here and it's been very affirming and helpful. It's so good to have you here and I can't wait to see your journey unfold. ❤️

[Susan R]

9 hours ago, JamieGee said:

I ended up hiding my true self for many years.  Once I entered college, I tried my best to be a man.  In some ways, I think that I went out of my way to overcompensate.

Welcome to our little family here @JamieGee. Most of us here hid our true selves at some point in our lives. It seemed the only way to survive back in the day. It’s a good thing you’re able to finally see that it will not go away on its own. Confronting the issue, learning about yourself and then coming to some level of acceptance is the best approach, IMHO. It sounds like you’re there right now.

 

Like you, I tried to overcompensate in my early days—first getting heavily into collegiate and freestyle wrestling and then shortly thereafter I started lifting and body building...sound familiar?..lol  We all fight it the best we can but we don’t realize how deep it goes. It’s integral part of our being. It took me another 30+ years to realize this. I’m glad you’ve found us and you can restart your journey of self discovery.

 

Warmest Regards,

Susan R?

 

 

 

[JamieGee]

Thank you again for your welcome and sharing your stories.  I'm actually not surprised that so many of us have a similar background.  It seems that it was just the way that things were back when we were young that may have led us to similar decisions back then.  

 

For me it is small steps right now.  I'm doing little things that make me feel more like myself.  And, it feels great.

 

 

[Jackie C.]

4 hours ago, JamieGee said:

For me it is small steps right now.  I'm doing little things that make me feel more like myself.  And, it feels great.

 

The euphoria is great, isn't it? I hope I never get used to seeing myself smiling back from the mirror. Every day feels like a gift.

 

Hugs!

[JamieGee]

I absolutely agree. It is such a positive attitude to have when you feel right about yourself.  

[Timber Wolf]

Hi Jamie,

Welcome to Transpulse. I'm glad you're here!

 

Lots of love and a big welcome hug,

Timber Wolf?

[JamieGee]

Thank you to all of you for providing such a great site.  I can tell already that this is going to be such a meaningful resource for me.

 

With Love,

 

Jamie 

[Ivy]

Welcome Jamie.

A lot of us share your store in some form.