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The last thing.


HollyElizabeth

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So I finally got it out in the open, I finally told my mom I was gay and that I had a one night stand with a guy I met off the internet. She was really shocked. at first she didn't believe me, but after assuring her that I was she told me that she didn't want to hear anymore secrets of mine. I told her that was the last one and I had nothing else to tell her. She forbid me from telling my brother, he is a bigot, he wouldn't understand. Hes still trying to process my being trans. It's a relief to have that not being hidden any longer. But it hurts a little that mom isn't interested in my secrets.

 

I should be able to be open about me. I shouldn't have to hide parts of myself just because it might make other people uncomfortable. Accept me in total or not at all. If I can't be 100% honest with everyone, then how can I be honest with myself. IMO, the only thing secrets do is cause mistrust and arguments.

 

Ok now for some lighter stuff. I think I might have freaked out the mailman. I got home about 15 minutes befor he knocked on my door. I took off my wig, they get so hot on the head. Well anyway, I still had a face full of makeup when I answered the door. I opened the door and he gave me the weirdest look and it took him like 2 seconds to speak. I'm now sure he thinks I'm either a freak or a pervert. I'm not sure I should have offered him candy. lol

 

XO Holly

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  • Admin

Major advice from my therapists --- "Thou Shalt Not Should(not)  on Thyself."  Could is almost as bad as should but what should be is not in our control so don't waste time on it.  In time you will learn whether your mom will loosen up, but what I have seen work the best there is to find Chosen Family members who will welcome you and do what your blood family will not do for you. 

 

There are medical conditions where Cis women lose their hair so fib a bit if asked on that.  Maybe do makeup for a hairless presentation as some women pull off beautifully.  I have a couple of femme non-binary friends who look better bald, and a married Trans couple who are both "hair optional" and they are a little older, but darn cute.

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LOL, @ElizabethStarit was the first time and the last time I've done that. It was a different time back in the late 2000's. All we did was mouth stuff, nothing else. After it was over he wanted to know if I wanted to stay the weekend with him. I quickly said no. That would have been a huge mistake. Turns out he was married, if I had known, it would have never happened. I don't want to be the other woman, and I don't want to get in the middle of someones marriage.

 

Besides it was an experiment, I thought I was gay, I just wanted to know for sure. Turns out I am. I've only been with 1 guy and 1 girl, no not at the same time. lol. Minds out of the gutter please. lol. Once I get bottom surgery I'm going to go straight.

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Well that's one  off the bucket list. Be careful.

Not sure  if you know my BS but it cant get violent in a hurry. Hope you meet at his place or somewhere out of the way. Esp if yr on GL or some other Trans hook up site.  Guys are crazy and its super hard to get the roses they promised you sometimes, plenty of fighting my way of situations  or worse . so

Have fun, but be safe

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I met him on some gay hook up site. I haven't done it since. It was a 1 off thing. But yeah it's one for the bucket list. I just wanted to do it once and now that I did, it's not a repeating event. Just thinking about doing it again makes me a bit sick. Anything could have happened. He paid for a motel room. At least he was good enough to pay for our room. Now that I know I'm trans, I'm extra careful about everything. Too many bad things happen to girls like us. I decided to tell mom that I'm gay so that if I do decide to bring someone home, it won't be alarming and be all weird for everyone here at the house. I do want to start dating, so tired of being alone. I envy those of us that have someone in their lives.

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