Frequency?

[Kestrel McLoughlin]

Hi! 
 

so I’m about to start my first therapist relationship ever. I have no scope for what’s... not “normal”, but... average?

 

is this by default a monthly thing, a weekly thing? All I know is my coverage is for 10 per year.

What do people usually do?

[Jocelyn]

Kestrel

For me it has been my need to dictated the frequency of my appointments. Thee have been times where I was doing weekly appointments and others that wee monthly. I have gone thru an exceptionally hard time this fall and had weekly appointments for the most part. Where as there will be about 30 days between my last appointment and my next one. In the beginning we meet every 2 weeks as I built my relationship with my counselor and we figured out where we should focus. In the end it has been me that set the time between appointments based on my emotional needs at that time. I have been lucky in that my counselor has had the flexibility for my scheduled to change. I have an other counselor that does not and my appointments are based on there availability. I would recommend discussing with your counselor on your 1st visit. Hope this helps you.

cheers

Jocelyn

[Audrey]

Hi @Kestrel McLoughlin, I wish you the best for your first appointment with your therapist. I'm hopeful you'll find wonderful support by meeting with them.

 

Insurance coverage is important, but ultimately the decision of how frequently you'll have sessions will be up to you and the availability of your therapist. Much like @Jocelyn described, I had more frequent meetings earlier on when I needed more support with my anxiety and depression. But have now settled into a rhythm of about once per month. If you end up exceeding what your insurance will cover, that may be something you can work out so you can continue having sessions. Many therapists will work with you on your financial situation on a sliding scale, because often the kinds of issues we need to explore in therapy won't fit into a nice tidy ten sessions as insurance companies would seem to believe.

 

Love,

~Audrey.

[Jani]

The initial two appointments I had were bi-weekly but then I went to monthly.  You could go to every five weeks and not go over your "quota."   What I did was keep a short log, which I pared down to a few lines for my meeting.  That way I didn't forget anything that might have been important or that happened right after the last appointment.  

 

All my best, Jani

[DeeDee]

Hi @Kestrel McLoughlinThe first time I spoke to someone I paid privately for a series of online weekly hour long appointments, (I think we had a dozen or so meetings) and then when I connected with my GIC which is free here in the UK and said yes when I was asked if I want to see someone and now have a 50 minute appointment every 2 weeks. 

I doubt they will be that frequently the whole time going forwards, but while I am navigating who I am and what I want to do about it, I do like having a soundingboard and someone to offer me perspective and help alleviate some fears.

Honestly though do not worry about what other people do - the first two sessions are basically getting to know you and seeing how you gel with one another, but it will be what feels right to you.

[VickySGV]

On the first appointment pick a specific goal with the therapist that you want to reach.  "I want to be comfortable with who I think / know I am!"  Or "I want to get a recommendation for Hormone Therapy!"  "I want to communicate my feelings to my spouse / family."  and so on.  That way you can plan on how to use your time, possibly with a short break between them to maximize your insurance benefit.  This is how a Therapist friend of mine deals with her clients. 

 

In between the Therapist appointments, go to informal support group meetings, online for now is safest, and later to in-person meetings where you are given a 'safe haven' to simply speak with other Trans people who are further along, or maybe not as far a long.  In doing that, you will hear issues and ideas you would not have initially thought about and you can bring those up to your Therapist to speed up the work you are doing with them with more self insight that will help you get the most out of your one on one time.

[KathyLauren]

I agree with Vicky that it helps to be clear about your goals on the first appointment.  That will help the therapist figure out the best approach, and will likely dictate at least the number of sessions, and possibly the frequency.

 

I was very clear about my goals.  "I would like a hormone readiness letter."  It wasn't quite as simple as her just writing the letter.  After all, she had to talk to me a bit to make sure I know what I was getting into, and to assess if I really did suffer from gender dysphoria.  But it was a pretty simple task, and it took one one-hour session and one two-hour session.

 

I had already done most of the self-exploration, so she didn't have to spend a lot of time rooting around in my mind to figure out what was going on.  On the other hand, some people show up with less clear-cut goals.  For example, "I am confused.  I don't know who I am." is going to take more than three hours to unravel.

 

How frequently you go will depend on a lot of factors.  The total number of sessions expected; the therapist's workload; your finances; commuting time; covid restrictions.  My therapist combined two one-hour sessions into one long session because of the hour and a half commute I had to do.  These are all things that you will likely discuss in your first session.

 

Congratulations on getting the process started!

[Jackie C.]

Variable for me. I see my regular therapist once a week and have been since February 2018 (I'm her longest-running client). That's not JUST for gender-related stuff. I'm kind of a hot mess.

I've seen two gender therapists for sign-offs on various procedures. I've seen Not Doctor Susan (she's a LMSW, she's got three degrees but none of them are a doctorate) twice and the other one (who actually IS a doctor) once. There was no need for follow-up appointments so long as I was under the care of another therapist.

 

For contrast, my spouse, who is also a hot mess, sees her therapist (who, again is a doctor) every other week. Her therapist is roughly twice as expensive as mine. Our "insurance" doesn't cover therapist visits and neither provider accepts insurance anyway.

 

So yeah, figure out the schedule that's right for you. Your therapist should be more than willing to help you with that depending on what she's seeing you for, your progress and how you respond to treatment.

 

Hugs!

[LaurenA]

I meet online with mine every two to four weeks, mostly depending on her schedule.  I'm lucky, medicare covers the tab.

[MiraM]

I went back in to therapy in June of 2016, and had weekly sessions until October of this year.  We only strayed from the weekly sessions once when my therapist was out on maternity leave for 3 months.  During that time she got me into an LGBTQ+ Wellness group that met every week for that time.  Unlike @Jackie C., I wasn't a hot mess, I was a 4 alarm dumpster fire.  I now have monthly sessions with my Therapist and see my psychiatrist every 3 months to asses the effectiveness of my meds.