Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Been Lurking - but Now....


KimmieElise

Recommended Posts

Hi all.  I have been lurking off and on for some time.  More just a time thing than any reluctance to post.

 

I am in my 50's single, and two years into my transition.  I am told by family and friends I pass, but I really have my doubts.  I don't seem to attract a lot of odd looks in public, and people treat me as a woman, but I still have my doubts.  It is probably as much people not paying attention to the others than anything else.

 

I am having trouble right now.  I have been out of work for a couple of months, and signed up to drive for a ride sharing company to make money to get through.  I have not legally changed my name, and my driver's license still shows the old me.  The profile picture I submit is the new me, and the company I am trying to sign up with keeps saying they suspect fraud.  It is like impossible to talk to a real person at this company.  I have never seen a company so removed from its customers and "contractors."  I am not the type to pull the "intersectionality" card.  I don't like being a -Naughty word-  I just want to live my life.  You know?  Anyway, I ended up going on their facebook page and posting.  I got the whole "We will look into this" thing, but I don't know now.  For all the noise this company makes about being LGBT inclusive and making a big deal about Pride, they make it super hard to sign up.  I don't have a couple weeks to get a new license to get my picture on my license, and I don't have the time and money to change my name yet.  I was going to do that after the first of the year, before I got laid off.  I really need to start getting some money coming in.

 

Has anyone else had this kind of problem?

Link to comment

@KimmieElise Hi and welcome to the group!!! So glad you joined us!! I'm middle-aged myself. I trust you will find this a great place to get to know people with much in common. Wow, that's nuts about your company too. That would definitely be hard.  ❤️

Link to comment

Dear @KimmieElise, it's lovely to meet you and welcome to the forums. I'm hopeful you'll find the community warm and friendly here, and I look forward to getting to know you.

 

I'm so sorry to hear about your challenge seeking a new job (especially during the pandemic) with regard to documentation that appears fraudulent in their view. Ideally, a human resources professional with experience onboarding would have reviewed your application and supporting documents, and the explanation for why they do not match would then make sense. A truly inclusive company would have anticipated this sort of thing, and they would know to avoid hiring practices that could be seen as discriminatory. I'm a big believer that actions speak louder than words, so I'm hopeful that your speaking up on social media attracted the attention of people in the company who will see the inconsistency between their inclusivity statement and their hiring practices, and take action - if this experience hasn't soured you on working for them before getting started. Wishing you the best!

 

Love,

~Audrey.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Welcome KimmieElise.  Legal name change and id's caused me a great many issues in early transition.  I remember going to our local Motor Vehicle office after going full time and getting a new photo ID. The lady at the counter was a bit put off at first and then understood.  She took my picture and there i was.  Charles had my face.  Later when i got my named changed the same woman, with a huge smile, asked if i wanted if i wanted my old picture back.?   

Some companies are so big and so impersonal i'm not supprised you are having difficulties.  hope it works out well for you sooner than later.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Hi KimmieElise,

I'm sorry, but I have not had experience with this situation. But welcome to Transpulse!

 

Lots of love and a big welcome hug,

Timber Wolf?

Link to comment

Hello and Welcome.

Jobs seem only to be getting harder and harder to get with all this lack of communication and understanding. Still trying to wrap my head around how these companies and corps manage to keep people, let alone hire new ones. Hopefully things work out in your favor. Also hopefully they didn't convert the whole HR department into robots and eventually will figure out all just needed a little extra processing time. Since there's been a slight change in the political winds, maybe they'll start coming around sooner then later. Keep posting the progress, and social media online always has open ears. The pen maybe mightier than the sword, but can it really hold a candle to what Tweets and FB posts do now. I hope you are successful at landing the job and manage to get to those personal ID fixes soon. Be well, stay safe and may fortune favor you on your journey.

Link to comment

I had a phone interview on Monday, which went well.  I have a follow up interview scheduled for Friday.  Hopefully, I am on my way to a new job.  I am really interested in this job.

Link to comment

Hi @KimmieElise,

 

I snooped your profile. ? You most certainly pass, girl! Better than I do that's for sure... Also, I love your background picture, it's adorable!

Hoping that your sense that the interview went well is correct and that you find gainful employment. ?

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
On 1/20/2021 at 6:40 PM, KimmieElise said:

Hi all.  I have been lurking off and on for some time.  More just a time thing than any reluctance to post.

Hello @KimmieElise Glad you finally decided to share a little of yourself with us here. We are a good bunch. Some of the early insecurities you shared are common and slowly go away with time presenting in your true gender. This forum has been a good support system for me over the years and for so many others. I’m sure you’ll find it to be a good support for you too.

 

6 hours ago, KimmieElise said:

I had a phone interview on Monday, which went well.  I have a follow up interview scheduled for Friday.  Hopefully, I am on my way to a new job.  I am really interested in this job.

I wish you the best with your newest job prospect. You are experiencing a lot of new changes. This must be quite an exciting time for you. Keep your head up and good luck!

 

Warmest Regards,

Susan R?

Link to comment
  • 3 weeks later...

Hello Kimmie! 
Im Anna from just up the road in North Carolina! Thank you for sharing. I’m new here but hoping to make some new friends like us! Always here to listen.....we all have to relate to each other and our struggles. Talk soon,

-Anna

Link to comment
2 hours ago, Anna A said:

Hello Kimmie! 
Im Anna from just up the road in North Carolina! Thank you for sharing. I’m new here but hoping to make some new friends like us! Always here to listen.....we all have to relate to each other and our struggles. Talk soon,

-Anna

Aw.  Thanks, hun. :)

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   7 Members, 0 Anonymous, 125 Guests (See full list)

    • RaineOnYourParade
    • Adrianna Danielle
    • MomTGDaughter
    • Abigail Genevieve
    • MaryEllen
    • KathyLauren
    • Ivy
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      769.1k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,049
    • Most Online
      8,356

    LostAndForgotten
    Newest Member
    LostAndForgotten
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Bddk
      Bddk
      (28 years old)
    2. Belladonnakarapinskia
      Belladonnakarapinskia
    3. Breanne_O
      Breanne_O
    4. Danielle57
      Danielle57
    5. ferh.li
      ferh.li
      (20 years old)
  • Posts

    • Abigail Genevieve
      Can you look elsewhere?
    • RaineOnYourParade
      Welcome to the party, M.A.     Sounds chaotic haha, I can confidently say that living with only two children the same age is stressful enough, much less three!
    • Adrianna Danielle
      Service manager screwed up this morning.had to do a service on a Kenworth.Sent me the,wrong filters and forgot to order a valve cover gasket.I had to do valve lash adjustments on it during the service.
    • Birdie
      Things hit the fan today. I was reminded that "this is not a gender fluid establishment."   I had changed my preferred name and gender at the hospital on their app. My x-ray report came in with my preferred name and gender. It was not appreciated by the centre. 😬
    • Justine76
      I'm not a nutritionist but I've gone on bulking diets in the past so I can suggest a couple things to try. Foremost, food-prep stuff that you like to eat. Any 'real food' that usually sounds good to you. That way, you don't have the time-sink or hassle of cooking for every meal. You're more likely to eat if stuff if it's convenient and mostly ready. For example, I'll spend an hour or so one evening prepping burrito ingredients that will last me the next 3 nights. Then it's just a matter of microwaving the beef/beans and throwing them into a tortilla; takes 5 min.   If you need food 'on the go' often, consider prepping smoothies in advance pre-separated out into individual containers. I personally like low-no fat yogurt blended with fruit and, here's the weird part, those water flavor drops. They add sweetness without dumping in excess sugar. Insulated containers will keep them reasonably fresh non-refridgerated all day so they can even be tossed into a backpack.    Hope of those sparked some ideas!
    • KymmieL
      I did get a sorry from the mechanic, saying it was all on him. The boss just said I just went by what I was shown. I didn't look at the paper work. I thought maybe you should before jumping down someones throat.   I am still in the market. Just waiting to find the right one.   Hugs, Kymmie
    • KathyLauren
      Hi, M.A.  Welcome to Transgender Pulse!   I am sure you will find a lot of people with similar stories to your own.  Feel free to ask questions and share your experiences.  THis is one of the most supportive forums.   Regards, Kathy
    • Susan R
      @Emily Chen I can add you to the list of those getting the Zoom Link. Message me for the meeting link if you’d like to attend. As April Marie pointed out, the next meeting begins May 4th Saturday night @ 9PM Eastern or 6pm Pacific Time. Will continue for at leas 3 hours. Feel free to join or leave at any time.    Susan R🌷
    • Lydia_R
      Thanks for your thoughtful reply @RaineOnYourParade.  I totally understand and agree with what you said.  I'm in no way proposing a law to decrease population.  It must be done on the demand side.  My role in this is simply to be highly visible and inspiring on many different levels and cultures from around the world.   We tend to focus on changing laws and that is addressing things on the supply side.  If we make a law to tax a type of business to try to steer the economy, we are changing the supply side.  People don't think of politics as a demand side thing, but our leaders should be inspiring us to change our behaviors.  Like the motto I was taught in the Navy "lead by example".  Although I could have tried to do this all with my music, I was not going to be successful with that.  It's reasonable to try to have a career as a highly visible politician to lead like this.   I never had any children that I know about.  I've had a pretty fabulous life.  Lots of ups and downs.  Lots of adventures.  Because I wasn't watching TV and I wasn't having children, I had to fill my time with something.  Although I am super ambitious with this political thing, all I really want to do is cook a nice curry dinner and have an intimate evening playing music for/with a partner and/or a friend or two.  And of course I enjoy cleaning the house and doing some writing, math and things.  I try to give back to society, but I'm not one of these people who just wants to serve.   It's very encouraging what the younger generation is doing in my opinion.  It's rough around the edges and I feel we could be more intentional about things.  Since population is declining, and I'm suggesting it to decline even more, we'll have this problem of there not being enough young people to take care of the old people.  I'm very strong on protecting our younger generation from having to babysit old people.  There simply aren't enough of them to do it like it is being done now.  I think this population reduction stuff is so important and this younger generation is just inheriting all these realities that I want to totally get them out of the business of taking care of older people.  The idea is to get medications mailed to them.  Make doctor visits very short and sweet.  Get old people staffing old folks homes.  I think we have a huge problem with mental health treatment in this country.  I think our economic realities from greater automation and income disparity have lead too many people to fall into despair.  We have to do something with our time and if we get rid of jobs with automation, and we stop making making housing (a decreasing population doesn't need more housing), then we still have to do something with our time.  I was successful at fighting addiction with relatively low carbon emitting work.  I make apps on the computer and record music in my living room.  I don't own a car.  I've been working part time from home for 12 years.  I actually work an excessive amount to do politics like this, but I have had periods of downtime.     Totally!  I think that humanity is just going to go in reverse here and these rural areas are going to be popular with younger people.  Set them up with some wind turbines.  Adjust to not having power 24/7.  Plenty of space to grow food.  Keep up the roads well enough to truck in some grains and other supplies.  As long as climate change doesn't cause some kind of environmental or insect problem, I think these rural places are going to be great.  I think we'll have to pick and choose which ones to continue supporting and which ones to abandon.  There are always details to work out.   I think in a world that is aging with declining population, people who are more unhealthy are going to be moving towards the cities and people who are healthier and middle age will move to the suburbs.  The suburbs are OK places as long as you are strong enough to get around by bicycle.  As someone who is 53 and physically fit, I groove on the idea of those big houses in the suburbs becoming house parties.  Perhaps I'm just dreaming though! LOL!   @awkward-yet-sweet is making some interesting points here.  My first wife did concrete work on the freeways in Chicago.  They do that up there because the extreme cold cracks the asphalt.  Those freeways are annoying with all the bumping between joints, but the roads last a long time.  But it takes a lot of industrial heat to make concrete.  Yes, humanity got along without the paved roads before and we can do it again.  We all inherited this world the way it is.  Sure, us older people contributed to it as well, but this whole industrialization/globalization thing has been going on a long time.  Perhaps we will avoid the horse and buggy thing and do a lot of mountain biking?
    • Vidanjali
      To be the witness Of thoughts, words, deeds done by Thee, Dispassionately.
    • MAN8791
      Hi, I'm . . . . let's go with initials for now. M.A. works. I've been out as genderfluid for about a year but finding I have more questions about my identity now than I did this time last year. I'm AFAB, in my mid forties, widowed parent with three teens (god help me!).   I have a new therapist as of two weeks ago, a decision I made with the help of my previous therapist and my new one specializes in LGBTQ+ needs so very well equipped to deal with my hot mess. We started screening for gender dysphoria this week and my response to almost every question she asked was "wait, that's not normal?" I don't live in a particularly sheltered bubble but somehow I seem to be much better at recognizing when my friends are struggling, than when I'm struggling myself.   I'm a freelance writer and graphic designer, and in my "free time" (lol, TWO of my offspring are theatre/band/choir kids, and the third is an aspiring screenwriter, y'all can imagine the sheer chaos easily) I write plays/musicals, and poetry.
    • VickySGV
      Sounds like time for a new Body Technician hopefully one that is actually a Doctor Of Medicine, this one you describe is short of that mark.
    • Ladypcnj
      Hi Lydia, I had McAfee before on my other computer and it allowed over 19 viruses to come in yikes lol
    • Ladypcnj
      I've been seeing my new treating doctor for quite some time now, whenever I'm advised to make an appointment. When it comes to seeing a new treating doctor, hard part is starting all over again building trust between patient and doctor. On my first day seeing my new treating doctor, before I could say anything else to her, she explained to me I needed to be completely honest with her. I kind of expected that type of patient profiling response from her, since she doesn't specialize in intersex care. Anyway, I sat down in the chair as I explained to my new doctor, I don't have all of my hospital records, certain records from my childhood and teenager years are mysteriously missing regarding a surgery. After my examination was over, she disregarded or showed no interest in searching for my missing medical records, but instead she blamed me for how I take care of my health today. 
    • April Marie
      Saturday night @ 9PM Eastern.   PM @Susan R to be added to the list.  
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...