Hi im a trans women and can Anyone help me figure out what I can get done before my transition

[I-think-im-a-girl1808]

Im now on the wait list and i have to wait a year or more to get diagnosed and i can start transitioning into a proper girl. Can Anyone help me think of things to get Done in this time?

[Betty K]

Hi @I-think-im-a-girl1808, maybe you could start electrolysis? I just looked into it today and it takes 6-12 months or more just to do facial hair. But I'm sure the other girls will have plenty of other ideas. I'm only early on my journey too.

[Jackie C.]

Electrolysis. You'll want it done eventually anyway.

 

Voice training. That'll kill some time for you. Remember, you get out what you put into it.

 

Grow your hair out. Or don't. Whatever cute style works for you.

 

Learn to do your hair and makeup.

 

Socially transition. Get yourself some nice clothes to go out enfemme. Grab some breast forms and some shapewear to really sell it.

 

Exercise. Get in the best shape of your life. You don't have to bulk up. Go long and lean with cardio and plenty of stretching. It's easier with the T than it will be without.

 

Most of transitioning doesn't require hormones. Go for it girl!

 

Hugs!

[Bri2020]

Just because you don't have a "diagnosis" doesn't mean you can't socially transition. 

Jackie hit most things above.  I can attest to the "get in shape" part.  If you need/want to lose weight or get into better shape it is MUCH easier with testosterone still in your system. I lost 45lbs in 3 -4 months before the T-blockers kicked in. It's take another 5 months to lose the last 5-8lbs and I really can't seem to break through this plateau now.   It will also seriously help you with tolerating/recovering from any surgeries.  If you're in really bad cardio shape or have cholesterol issues it may limit your HRT options as well so try to take care of those things now.  

Money!  Depending on your situation, transitioning isn't cheap.  Hair removal alone costs some serious money.  Start working on a budget. maybe work a PT gig to help pay for stuff.  If you are going to start electrolysis/laser it takes a lot of hours of treatment so starting that as early as you can helps you get it done before surgeries and if money is tight it can slow that down even more.

Also start thinking about your "out" status.  This is all so much easier if you have some support so if there are people in your life you can come out to that can help you, all the better.

Exciting times are ahead!

Hugs Bri

[Audrey]

@I-think-im-a-girl1808, I'd like to add to the idea of how important it will be to have supportive friends and family on your side when you do begin any medical transitioning such as HRT. Building that network now will give you the confidence you'll want to draw on when you are out in the world. Early on, it is harder to pass and easier to be clocked, so having encouragement from others will help you get through the difficult times.

 

Electrolysis was something I started right away as soon as I knew I wanted to fully transition. It is a long road, and it can be a costly one since insurance does not cover it for me currently.

 

Love,

~Audrey.

[Carolyn Marie]

I think @Jackie C.nailed it pretty well, hon.  BTW, it might be useful if you chose a temp name we could address you by rather than your user name.  You don't have to, but it would be nicer than calling you "hon."  You could also start accumulating some clothing, as putting together a wardrobe can be costly and take a while.  There is a lot more to buy that what you were used to in men's clothes.

 

Have fun and good luck!

 

Carolyn

[I-think-im-a-girl1808]

Thank you all for you amazing featback. You can all call me Nicky.

I currently growing my hair out, and i am looking into clothes to buy (i could use some shopping tips). In already at a good weight, but i dont feel comfortable with my broad back and shoulders. Im certainly buying breastforms, shapewear and maybe a pocketbra. Electrolysis im not really sure about. I would have to do some research for. I hear it creates scarring. 

Thank you all you beautiful Queens.

@Betty@Betty K @Jackie C. @Bri2020 @Audrey @Carolyn Marie

[Jackie C.]

Nice to meet you Nicki!

 

Your back probably isn't as bad as you think it is, but a friend taught me a trick to minimize it: Darker top and lighter bottom. I personally find that I look FANTASTIC in a tank-top, but you might not like the look as much. The best advice is to find a full-length mirror and try things on. When you find something you like, buy it.

 

Personally, I love to go to a store with my spouse. We'll share a dressing room and get each other's opinions on pieces as we pillage our way through the store. I'm looking forward to being able to use dressing rooms again.

 

Hugs!

[Audrey]

1 hour ago, I-think-im-a-girl1808 said:

Electrolysis im not really sure about. I would have to do some research for. I hear it creates scarring. 

I had this concern too when I started and I shared it with my electrologist before beginning. If done correctly, electrolysis shouldn't cause any scarring and that's been my experience so far. I had a recent session with slow healing and more redness/scabbing than usual, which renewed my concerns, but my skin has healed since then and it's becoming harder to tell where she worked. The other major hair removal option is laser. Each one has its advantages and disadvantages. Definitely research and ask lots of questions during your consultation appointments. The right provider will be welcoming, responsive to your questions, and supportive of your goals.

 

Love,

~Audrey.

[Maddee]

I unfortunately have had some damage caused by an electrologist using thermolysis.  She was very experienced and quite fast.  But ignorant of many things and never treated trans.   (although I was referred to her by my then-counselor.)   I went to her for 100 hours over a few years because I didn't think anyone else in the area would be willing to treat me. possibly true, esp at the time.   Other than frying the collagen around my lips, she also played the same six piano songs on infinite repeat, and preached religion and political conspiracy stress on me the whole time was laying in that chair getting my face pierced.  She also referred me to a fast talking laser tech for an expensive year of laser sessions that failed to clear the dark hairs on my face.  

Ugg

The things we'll put up with if we think there's no other way...

 

We stopped the electro when covid shut down the world.  In summer of 2020 I had second and third opinion consults with reputable electrolygists outside of my area.  Both told me that my face was damaged by that tech.  One didn't want to book me, almost like she doesn't want anyone to think she did the damage to my face!

I live in a fairly sparse area, and blindly followed others suggestions because I let myself be overwhelmed and full of fear.  Don't do this.   I forgive that tech, and I still believe I am pretty and worth being around.  Grateful that I never had enough $ to go to her more regular. 

 

Please be careful.

 

[Betty K]

Hi @Maddee, thanks so much for letting us know that, I will be extra careful now. You said your electrolygist was ignorant of some things having never treated trans before: do you know exactly what those things were? And can you suggest any good questions to ask my local electrolygist?

 

 

[Maddee]

Oh yes wait!

 

Let me echo.......

 

Weight loss and/or lower body muscle building.  Now.

 

Voice..  find it.   Use it.  Be it. 

 

Hair.  If you're lucky enough to have it, grow it out.  Take care of it.  Do little things with it.  

 

Watch women.

 

Posture.  Shoulders back.  Hips.  Angles....where's your audience...

[Maddee]

1 hour ago, Betty K said:

Hi @Maddee, thanks so much for letting us know that, I will be extra careful now. You said your electrolygist was ignorant of some things having never treated trans before: do you know exactly what those things were? And can you suggest any good questions to ask my local electrolygist?

 

 

She made comments like "men don't have collagen"...

 

So she didn't worry about frying mine.

 

My second opinion showed me a chart of different hair follicle types and suggested that my electro may have been missing the actual roots of my hair.  Mine is sort of curly/kinky, and most ethnicities in this area are fairer and straight.  My follicles are not right below the hair shaft, so she would repeatedly treat the same areas without making alot of progress.

[Maddee]

Reading the responses from the women on this thread make me so glad to be here.

@Carolyn Marie

@Betty K

@Jackie C.
@Audrey
@Bri2020

 

Warm encouragement to you, original poster I-think-Im-a-girl

 

What a wonderful thing to be

[Betty K]

1 hour ago, Maddee said:

What a wonderful thing to be

 

❤️❤️❤️

 

Thanks again for the info Maddee. So glad to be here too, and glad to know you x

[Audrey]

@Maddee I'm sorry to hear about your negative electrolysis experience and the lasting effects you experienced from it. That sounded quite painful in more ways than one, and the comment about collagen is truly mystifying.

 

@Betty K I think the most important thing to look for is an electrologist with experience working with transgender people. They will have the best understanding for how hair removal fits into our transition goals, create the safe and welcoming space to ask questions about the process, and understand the nuances based on hair types and colors. For example, mine adjusted her approach knowing I have a contact allergy to nickel, so she uses gold instruments instead. I also now know that using gold increases the effect of the heat from thermolysis, and so my skin will have a stronger reaction as I saw on my last visit (but has now almost completely healed). I'm not sure how electrolysis clinics are regulated in Australia, but you'll want to vet them that way too. Most places who are sensitive to the needs of trans people will try to make that clear on their website and when scheduling your consultation appointment, and will give you that feeling during your visit. If you feel uncomfortable or pressured for any reason - find another place!

 

Love,

~Audrey.

[Betty K]

1 hour ago, Audrey said:

Most places who are sensitive to the needs of trans people will try to make that clear on their website

 

Hey Audrey, thanks! I don't think there will be any clinic where I live currently that would be that forward-thinking about transgender people -- or if there is I haven't found it yet. That said, the woman I have been speaking to does seem understanding and not too phased at treating me.

 

It's hard for me currently living in an isolated small regional city which doesn't seem to have barely any facilities for LGTBQ people, and so ironic that I ended up here at exactly the point in my life when I need them most! But don't worry, I will be moving on soon enough. I'm hoping electrolysis is one thing I can get started on in the meantime.

 

One question: The electrolygist says she would normally recommend laser first when dealing with "male beard growth". She also says it's cost-effective. Any thoughts? I think I read that, in the US at least, laser hair removal is not approved by the FDA? So I'm a bit nervous about that.

[Audrey]

1 hour ago, Betty K said:

One question: The electrolygist says she would normally recommend laser first when dealing with "male beard growth". She also says it's cost-effective. Any thoughts? I think I read that, in the US at least, laser hair removal is not approved by the FDA? So I'm a bit nervous about that.

You're welcome Betty! As far as I know, the only *permanent* hair removal that the U.S. FDA has approved is electrolysis. Laser also removes hair, but it's my understanding that it's mostly (but not completely) permanent so this is why the FDA hasn't endorsed it for that. It's also my understanding that laser is not particularly effective on white, grey, or red hair. This is why I opted for electrolysis for my facial hair, because I have too many greys and whites in there. There are many considerations though when choosing an approach to hair removal. Speaking broadly: Electrolysis is effective on all hair types and permanent, but is slower and more costly. Laser is faster and more cost efficient, but not necessarily effective for all hair types and not permanent. Both methods should be completely safe when practiced by a licensed professional. Hope this helps! Sorry to hear that it might not be easy to find someone in your area who's trans-friendly, but it does sound like you have found a promising lead. Wishing you the best!

 

Love,

~Audrey.

[Betty K]

Yes that helps a lot Audrey, thanks. My electrolygist did say the laser would only be for the brown hairs so that makes sense. I have about two-thirds brown, one-third white/grey.

 

Kinda worried about looking like a freak with inexplicable facial scarring while treatment is underway. Also since Townsville is the fabled "skin cancer capital of the world" with something like 300 sunny days per year I'm wary of exposure to sunlight directly after treatments. Obviously, I'm just a bundle of nerves about the whole thing. I will read the relevant forum for more info.

 

xx

[Lexi C]

Hey Betty and Nicky

Audrey is right on point. 

I am luck, in as, my insurance covers all of my Electrolysis. face and bottom

They refer me to a woman whose not only TG her self but  most (about 90% )of her clients are TG and she great

I did have to pay  for my laser treatments which i did on my chest. It kind of work I do a touch ever 6month and shave the the few greys off.

Mandee So sorry for the pain you want through. Dam girl your a big personal the me. I would of sue that B 

[ValerieRun]

Recommendation about the laser before electrolysis could be a very good option if you are looking for quick "removal" of the beard shadow and a suitable candidate. This is exactly the route I took. I had maybe 60/40 split between dark and greying hair (curse you genetics ?), and by eliminating dark hairs your face makes it easier to maintain with the daily routines. But as always, it is very individual and you have no choice but to try to see if it works.

As for sun exposure - there are plenty of moisturizes with SPF and using them will help your skin in more ways than one ?

[Betty K]

Cool, thanks @ValerieRun. So helpful ?

[Betty K]

Hey @Lexi C that sounds so great to have a trans electrolygist! Lucky you x

[DeeDee]

Hi @Betty K I had a few sessions of laser to start with, my electrologist considered it like clearing the weeds so she could see what needed to be done, but while it will take away a lot for a while it is not permanent if you are not on HRT. Personally I also felt it was like getting an elastic band pinged into my face repeatedly for an hr.. The first wee while is fine but everyone has a tolerance level. My face was sunburnt red for days afterwards.

I found Electrolysis much kinder, they used a topical numbing cream so there was zero pain and I had 3-4 hr sessions, but could walk out afterwards and my skin was fine! stopped when I had to pay for divorce costs and I was about to start back up when the world locked down! I travel 3 hrs to get to my closest clinic which also offered other beauty treatments and she was lovely as soon as I told her I suspected I was trans.

[Betty K]

2 hours ago, DeeDee said:

My face was sunburnt red for days afterwards.

 

Hey Dee Dee, nice to meet you. Ugh that sounds horrible! I’ll ask the electrolygist if she’s okay with me skipping that part. Thanks so much for the info. We are lucky where I am that Covid hasn’t really reached us. I hope you can get out and about again soon.