Nerves about starting HRT

[Myles97]

As my start date for HRT approaches I find myself getting really nervous. Anybody else have these same feelings? I start second guessing myself and and thinking “what if something bad happens because of the T health wise” or “what happens if i lose my insurance and can’t afford it?” Things like that. I know that worry is natural and I can’t let anxiety continue to dictate how I live, but I can’t help but have some concerns. I think I’m also getting more nervous because I know I’m going to have to tell my mom soon. I want her to know before I start T, and we talk on a daily basis so I can’t really hide it after the fact for too long. I want to live authentically, just a lot of “what if’s” and my brain doesn’t do well with those haha. Just looking for any reassurance I guess. 

[Jackie C.]

Change is scary, that's normal.

 

Secondly, what does T cost? I know my E & P isn't all that expensive. There might even be a program to help you get it if you drop off your insurance plan for whatever reason. Something to look into anyway.

 

I mean you've got a minute before the changes from T are obvious. It's not like the boys hit 13 and turn into men like werewolves changing in the full moon. I'm torn on that one. On the one hand it would be hilarious to watch. On the other with would be tragic for all my trans-girl sisters. Anyway, the point being that you're not going to turn into the Rock or Grizzly Addams overnight. If you see your mom every day, she might not pick up on it for longer than you think.

That said, telling her is a good idea. For better or for worse. I came out to both parents before I started hormones with... eh, mixed results. It's better to get their reactions out of the way as soon as you can. Then you can start the reconciliation process while their view of your reality slowly starts to match up with your actual reality.

 

Good luck sweetie!

 

Hugs!

[Myles97]

On 2/13/2021 at 8:51 AM, Jackie C. said:

Change is scary, that's normal.

 

Secondly, what does T cost? I know my E & P isn't all that expensive. There might even be a program to help you get it if you drop off your insurance plan for whatever reason. Something to look into anyway.

 

I mean you've got a minute before the changes from T are obvious. It's not like the boys hit 13 and turn into men like werewolves changing in the full moon. I'm torn on that one. On the one hand it would be hilarious to watch. On the other with would be tragic for all my trans-girl sisters. Anyway, the point being that you're not going to turn into the Rock or Grizzly Addams overnight. If you see your mom every day, she might not pick up on it for longer than you think.

That said, telling her is a good idea. For better or for worse. I came out to both parents before I started hormones with... eh, mixed results. It's better to get their reactions out of the way as soon as you can. Then you can start the reconciliation process while their view of your reality slowly starts to match up with your actual reality.

 

Good luck sweetie!

 

Hugs!

Jackie,

thank you so much for the advice!! I need some perspective sometimes haha! Without insurance the T is $100 for a one month supply. Not unbearable, but definitely more than I am comfortable with at the moment. I currently have insurance through my graduate school program, so I worry about my insurance situation once I’m on the job market but that is still 1-2 years away. I need to remember to focus on the now, and to focus on being happy. I’m still working on trying to live for myself but it’s hard to not think about how my mom might feel from all of this. Thank you for being a safe place for me to vent!!