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What has been your biggest pleasant surprise?


Shay

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What has been your happiest moment since coming out. For me it has been my friends here AND the feeling that I have finally made the right decision and an easing of internal conflict.

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Jackie C.

I think my happiest moment is when my spouse said, "Yeah, I think I'm OK with it. These things happen. Besides, I like breasts." After I heard that, I knew I could do anything.

 

Hugs!

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@Jackie C. gosh does that sound wonderful - mine is not there yet - but I'm hopeful - she knows about it and my HRT and therapy and she can't help noticing the girls starting to grow and show....😊

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Wow! There have been so many wonderful moments since coming out it makes it very difficult to choose just one. If I have to...I’d have to say my wife accepting me as I am after thinking I may be homeless after revealing the real me. That still has me in the clouds.

 

Susan R🌷

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@Susan R That must be an AMAZING feeling - my is slightly moving in the right direction and I pray she keeps moving and lets my out of my cage physically (I wear ladies clothes but mainly androgenous at best and my stepskids and grandkids don't know yet - something I also know you have issues with one but mainly have the joys now and I'm so happy for you in that regard).

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Confused1

Having the support of my wife after thinking it was going the other way. It for sure didn't start there.

 

Hugs,

Mike

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1 hour ago, Shay said:

I pray she keeps moving and lets my out of my cage physically

Yeah, this is so common, Heather. Checking to make sure a spouse transitioning with you is still the same page is important. Transitioning couples may start out together but so sometimes they start moving along in the transition at different speeds. Keeping the pace is such a critical part of it all. It’s like talking a long walk with your partner and suddenly realizing they're 10 feet behind you. Transitions are very much the same way. If we move too fast, we can leave them behind.

 

I mention this because I thought about this analogy a few months ago while out on a walk with my wife. I seem to naturally walk faster than my spouse. Once or twice, I can remember finding myself several feet ahead and not paying attention to my pace. LOL, It’s so easy to get caught up in our own journey, we sometimes fail to look where our partner is.

 

Another great thread you started Heather!

Susan R🌷

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Jackie C.
1 hour ago, Susan R said:

Once or twice, I can remember finding myself several feet ahead and not paying attention to my pace.

 

Well, that's why you hold hands, right?

 

I can't help but notice there seems to be a running theme in this thread, "Acceptance from our significant others." Acceptance in general is great, but when it comes from the person most important to us in all the world? **Chef's Kiss** 

 

Hugs!

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1 hour ago, Jackie C. said:

I can't help but notice there seems to be a running theme in this thread, "Acceptance from our significant others."

Yes, this is so true, Jackie! And when S.O.’s aren’t there for us, it can set back a transition years or even decades while we try to rethink, regroup and start again.

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Confused1

 

 

2 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

 Acceptance in general is great, but when it comes from the person most important to us in all the world?

 

I agree 100% Jackie. No one has been more important to me in this than my spouse.

 

2 hours ago, Susan R said:

 Transitioning couples may start out together but so sometimes they start moving along in the transition at different speeds. Keeping the pace is such a critical part of it all. If we move too fast, we can leave them behind.

 It’s so easy to get caught up in our own journey, we sometimes fail to look where our partner is.

 

Much truth here Susan! I had to back up and go forward again a few times in the past year. God has helped me every step of the way.

 

Hugs,

Mike

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I think the biggest pleasant surprise happened a couple of weeks ago.

 

 

On Facebook someone shared a fabulous photo of an owl from a facebook group. However, the original photographer had not been acknowledged and having had a number of my own photographs "stolen" and used by others in the past without any recognition I did a bit of research and eventually found the original author. I then found, joined and went back to the group where this photo had been shared from and set the record straight. I got into some discussions about that photo and realised that the group philosophy was very much aligned with my own in terms of the artistic and emotional aspects of image creation. So I started contributing to the group. 
Anyway - I've realised for a while that while I only spend part of my time as Niamh, I want during that time to be regarded with the same respect and treatment that any other woman should receive - and not just from the LGBTQ+ community. I need to be out there as Niamh in the same way I've always been out there as my male self, joining in things that interest me the same way they interest other people. 
So a few days ago, the group I had joined had a photo challenge - to post pictures of yourself Then and Now - to show yourself from many years ago and how you are now. I posted the photo below. Until now I've limited my Facebook involvements as Niamh to mainly Trans groups and associated friends so this was a bit of a leap of faith. I have been so amazed by the outpouring of affection and positive comments from so many people; a mix of people who have no alignment with the Trans community. While I had not been expecting any "problems", I was so pleasantly surprised and amazed at the response from the group. 
I think it's probably a reflection of the generally more tolerant mentality of those who embrace art in all its forms.

This is the photo - one half of which has already been shared on this site - I think you'll guess which!

 

NeilToNiamh.jpg

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@Niamh you look lovely!  

 

I can't say what was my biggest surprise as it would take some thinking.  (yes I'm challenged)

Early on when I was already retired my wife came home and asked why I wasn't dressed in my preferred clothing?  I told her I didn't want to move faster than she could (or would) absorb.  She said it was ok and she didn't mind.  After that I dressed daily in my preferred clothing.    

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Maid In Bedlam
18 hours ago, Niamh said:


This is the photo - one half of which has already been shared on this site - I think you'll guess which!

 

 

Look at you. Cute as a button.🙂

I hope thats the right thing to say? Either way still cute.

 

I suppose one of my defining moments is when i got the letter from my gender clinic saying and i shall quote.

 

" I saw --Real name blanked out as its not really for the internet----in the gender clinic today. she has previously been seen by my Colleage Dr ---Blanked out again---- For a psychological assessment and he has confirmed her diagnosis of Gender dysphoria"

 

This was i suppose a defineing moment for me. As it officially confirmed what i already knew. But it was the fact i now had it in black and white on a piece of paper from 2 doctors that made it a pleasent surprise. from a psychologist and a  physician specialising in gender issues. Im not sure if surprise is the right word as i already was aware. I mean i had been living full time as they call it for 2 1/2 years before i even got to the clinic.

 

But I was actually over the moon when I read that letter. I think i even went out with my partner then my boyfriend and had a little celebration.

 

Surprise no. But a moment i will never forget Most certainly

 

 

 

 

 

 

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@Maid In Bedlam I can imagine the relief that must have provided to you. I'm so glad it has helped you to be where you need.

 

And can I add another surprise please. Yesterday evening after having a drink or two for courage, I finally informed the one family member who I had been dreading. He is an very right-wing nationalist and I'm sure his friends are likely to be homophobic and transphobic. I had imagined that despite our long friendship as cousins, he would be very negative to me telling him about my transgender status. 

 

As it turned out he was quite laid back about it and sympathised with the difficulty it had caused in my marriage. He assured me that while he was a bit shocked we would remain friends as ever.

 

This was a really nice surprise.

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Jackie C.
2 hours ago, Niamh said:

As it turned out he was quite laid back about it and sympathized with the difficulty it had caused in my marriage. He assured me that while he was a bit shocked we would remain friends as ever.

 

Aww. I'm so very happy to hear that! Good on him!

 

Hugs!

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Confused1
2 hours ago, Niamh said:

@Maid In Bedlam I can imagine the relief that must have provided to you. I'm so glad it has helped you to be where you need.

 

And can I add another surprise please. Yesterday evening after having a drink or two for courage, I finally informed the one family member who I had been dreading. He is an very right-wing nationalist and I'm sure his friends are likely to be homophobic and transphobic. I had imagined that despite our long friendship as cousins, he would be very negative to me telling him about my transgender status. 

 

As it turned out he was quite laid back about it and sympathised with the difficulty it had caused in my marriage. He assured me that while he was a bit shocked we would remain friends as ever.

 

This was a really nice surprise.

 

I have a cousin like that and it went the same way after some short intense discussion. Sometimes it is the ones you least expect that surprise you.

 

Hugs,

Mike

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On 2/19/2021 at 6:13 AM, Jackie C. said:

I think my happiest moment is when my spouse said, "Yeah, I think I'm OK with it. These things happen. Besides, I like breasts." After I heard that, I knew I could do anything.

 

Hugs!

😉

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LusciousTheLock

Mine was the reaction at work. I was terrified. I had told certain people in the office two years prior. It would feel like I was wearing a mask to work and peering through the holes so people wouldn't see the real me. Since telling my managers, they have almost pushed me to get on with it. I always hated my job, and they wanted to keep me by throwing more and more money in my direction. But being able to be myself was all  it took.  I guess no pay rise this year though lol.

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Satisfaction outways money - don't get me wrong money is good but satisfaction is more than all the money in the world can buy. Hugs.

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Linda Marie

Gosh, My biggest pleasant surprise. So many to choose from.

Which category?  I mean like there are so many to cover here...get what I mean?

So about that time my amazon order actually fit. Yep that was nice.

Emmm, my first stimulus check...yep, bought 2 new dresses....

That night, late at night, that sound.....my stomach....

so I tip toe to the kitchen and....yes....both milk in the fridge and special k in the pantry....

This one will sound really weird ....  My wife and I covid shots. Expecting 2-4 hours and in an out in 30 minutes!!!!!!!!

So far this year....covid shot #1

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AwesomeClaire

I don't have a significant other so I did all this on my own. I've had a lot of pleasant experiences with it, but it was nice to have the support of work, family, and friends. Shopping for the clothes I wanted for the first time was exhilarating. Recieving the court order for my name was a very emotional time too.

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Linda Marie

Wow. So nice to meet you. I'm on a smaller spectrum, Make do with what I can, so to speak.

 

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Holly Elizabeth

For me it's been the happiness that I feel now that I can finally be who I truly am. When I came out as trans, it was like the lights suddenly came on and I could see clearly. I just can't believe how bad I felt all this time before now.

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