New here

[SheenaT]

Hello T sisters,

I have longed for a place to share struggles and make friends. I learned at a very young age I was different. I did not know why, and just decided I must be a freak. I always preferred playing with the girls. My first time dressing was when a neighbor dressed me up in her mothers wedding dress. It was wonderful! Not long after that I was able to see that I was not physically the person I knew I was inside. Years of crossdressing only added to my distress. I finally met my now wife and decided I should get married and maybe that would erase the feelings. As I'm sure many of you know it didn't work. I secretly continued crossdressing and felt so awful. Why can't I just be normal. After many years of marriage about 20 years ago I learned that what I am is transgender. Having been raised a conservative Christian has made it additionally difficult. I have met a few other T girls online. I long to transition but see no way to do so. My wife does not accept that this is valid. She does at least allow me to wear panties, pierce my ears and grow my hair long. This is a readers digest version. For more contact me.

[Timber Wolf]

Hi SheenaT,

Welcome to Transpulse. I'm glad you're here!

 

Lots of love and a big welcome hug,

Timber Wolf?

[SheenaT]

Awe thank you! 

[Ivy]

Welcome Sheena.

2 hours ago, SheenaT said:

Having been raised a conservative Christian has made it additionally difficult.

Yeah, this can be hard to deal with.  I know the feeling.

[MelanieTamara]

2 hours ago, SheenaT said:

Having been raised a conservative Christian has made it additionally difficult.

Hi Sheena, Welcome. I'm new too. 

 

As for christianity, I too struggled with my faith. That darned Deuteronomy 22:5

 

A woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman’s garment; for whosoever doeth these things is an abomination unto the LORD thy God.

 

But the bible also talks about slaves obeying masters as well as other behaviors which we as a society today find offensive.  So that led me to thinking. Nowhere in the bible does it say, "All or Nothing".

 

The bible is a wonderful document, select passages are full of inspiration and kindness. So knowing that, what I did was treat it like a buffet. Take from it what empowered me and disregard the other stuff. The bible is a work of man that interprets the word of god. However, it does suffer from one major flaw, time sensitivity. 

 

With that in mind, use christianity as a source of inspiration to give you strength. The outcome will be amazing.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Aggie1]

3 hours ago, SheenaT said:

Hello T sisters,

I have longed for a place to share struggles and make friends. I learned at a very young age I was different. I did not know why, and just decided I must be a freak. I always preferred playing with the girls. My first time dressing was when a neighbor dressed me up in her mothers wedding dress. It was wonderful! Not long after that I was able to see that I was not physically the person I knew I was inside. Years of crossdressing only added to my distress. I finally met my now wife and decided I should get married and maybe that would erase the feelings. As I'm sure many of you know it didn't work. I secretly continued crossdressing and felt so awful. Why can't I just be normal. After many years of marriage about 20 years ago I learned that what I am is transgender. Having been raised a conservative Christian has made it additionally difficult. I have met a few other T girls online. I long to transition but see no way to do so. My wife does not accept that this is valid. She does at least allow me to wear panties, pierce my ears and grow my hair long. This is a readers digest version. For more contact me.

You are not alone, and your story is not at all unusual. I did feel alone for a long time because I was unwilling or afraid to reach out to others. I started attending a PFLAG meeting, joined this forum, took the step of engaging a therapist All of it helps confirm and affirm who I am to myself. Every day it feels more "normal". Every smile I get from a stranger, every like I get for a post my true self makes on facebook, all compounds the interest. As far as living this way in the conservative church community we were part of for the last 30 years, we haven't been attending for over a year. Not that we really had any close friends. My wife was the one who broke away because of how our daughters were being treated.

Your wife's circle of friends may be very important to her, along with their good opinion, and if so, this may present some challenges that appear insurmountable. My only recommendation would be to take it slowly, one step at a time, one day at a time, believe in yourself, breathe, accept who you are, and that truth will reflect back to your wife and her friends. You have the truth on your side.

 

A quote that came to mind this month that I found helpful to me was from Shakespeare: "To thine own self be true, and it follows as the night the day thou canst not be false to any man."

[SheenaT]

2 hours ago, MelanieTamara said:

Hi Sheena, Welcome. I'm new too. 

 

As for christianity, I too struggled with my faith. That darned Deuteronomy 22:5

 

A woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman’s garment; for whosoever doeth these things is an abomination unto the LORD thy God.

 

But the bible also talks about slaves obeying masters as well as other behaviors which we as a society today find offensive.  So that led me to thinking. Nowhere in the bible does it say, "All or Nothing".

 

The bible is a wonderful document, select passages are full of inspiration and kindness. So knowing that, what I did was treat it like a buffet. Take from it what empowered me and disregard the other stuff. The bible is a work of man that interprets the word of god. However, it does suffer from one major flaw, time sensitivity. 

 

With that in mind, use christianity as a source of inspiration to give you strength. The outcome will be amazing.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thank you Melanie. I'm feeling welcome already.

[SheenaT]

For anyone in the North Idaho eastern Washington area that might like to meet for coffee let me know.

[Susan R]

2 hours ago, SheenaT said:

For anyone in the North Idaho eastern Washington area that might like to meet for coffee let me know.

My wife and I will be flying to Spokane for a few days for my 3 month post-op appointment in mid-April. If interested in meeting for coffee, PM me and I can give you my exact itinerary and maybe we can all find a date/time to meet?

 

Susan R?

[Carolyn Marie]

Welcome to Trans Pulse, Sheena.  It's a shame that your wife isn't supportive, but people do change over time, and her opinions about it may soften.  That's happened to many of us.  In the meantime, do what you can when you can.  We understand and we're here to help out.

 

HUGS

 

Carolyn Marie

[Drayse]

On 2/19/2021 at 12:10 PM, SheenaT said:

I secretly continued crossdressing and felt so awful. Why can't I just be normal.

 

On 2/19/2021 at 12:10 PM, SheenaT said:

Having been raised a conservative Christian has made it additionally difficult.

All that and then some. I'm glad that you made your way here, sister. I've found support and comradery here that I haven't been able to find locally, due to the pandemic shrinking my already mostly non existent social circle. Here's hoping that your wife comes around to supporting you and that she can find the support she needs to continue supporting you.

[SheenaT]

16 hours ago, Drayse said:

 

All that and then some. I'm glad that you made your way here, sister. I've found support and comradery here that I haven't been able to find locally, due to the pandemic shrinking my already mostly non existent social circle. Here's hoping that your wife comes around to supporting you and that she can find the support she needs to continue supporting you.

Thank you hun. I need lots of support right now. I will be going back to the therapist soon which will undoubtedly concern her. I decided I need to do this for me.

[SheenaT]

On 2/19/2021 at 11:17 AM, Timber Wolf said:

Hi SheenaT,

Welcome to Transpulse. I'm glad you're here!

 

Lots of love and a big welcome hug,

Timber Wolf?

?

[Vanessa Michelle]

Hi @SheenaTand welcome to the group sister!! I can identify with your journey as well. I am still a Christian, a minister in fact, but raise in a more conservative Christian family to believe this is not real. I would beg to differ now Lol. Know that no matter what people may say, you are valid, you are loved and God loves you the way you are. ❤️ There's nothing wrong with being trans my friend. ?  We are so happy you found us and shared your story with us on this forum. I look forward to getting to know you better. Bless you!! ❤️

[SheenaT]

11 hours ago, Vanessa Michelle said:

Hi @SheenaTand welcome to the group sister!! I can identify with your journey as well. I am still a Christian, a minister in fact, but raise in a more conservative Christian family to believe this is not real. I would beg to differ now Lol. Know that no matter what people may say, you are valid, you are loved and God loves you the way you are. ❤️ There's nothing wrong with being trans my friend. ?  We are so happy you found us and shared your story with us on this forum. I look forward to getting to know you better. Bless you!! ❤️

Thank you honey. I so much need support. I am vacillating about transitioning.  I know it's what I want and need but I will never be accepted by anyone and I will lose everything.  Is there any middle ground? I don't see any. I was also a worship leader for 15 years. 

[SheenaT]

On 2/19/2021 at 12:17 PM, MelanieTamara said:

Hi Sheena, Welcome. I'm new too. 

 

As for christianity, I too struggled with my faith. That darned Deuteronomy 22:5

 

A woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman’s garment; for whosoever doeth these things is an abomination unto the LORD thy God.

 

But the bible also talks about slaves obeying masters as well as other behaviors which we as a society today find offensive.  So that led me to thinking. Nowhere in the bible does it say, "All or Nothing".

 

The bible is a wonderful document, select passages are full of inspiration and kindness. So knowing that, what I did was treat it like a buffet. Take from it what empowered me and disregard the other stuff. The bible is a work of man that interprets the word of god. However, it does suffer from one major flaw, time sensitivity. 

 

With that in mind, use christianity as a source of inspiration to give you strength. The outcome will be amazing.

 

 

 

 

 

 

?

[Sandra6sandy9sand]

Hi Sheena and a belated welcome. Your story is similar to mine, cross dressing from age 6, guilt, keeping the secret and thinking that marriage would solve everything. It of course hasn’t but I’m at a point in my life where my feminine side is accepted by my wife of 41 years.

 

I’m trans feminine and always will be. I’m a Christian as well and know that God loves me the way I am. As time moves along I hope your wife accepts the person you are.

 

Hugs

 

Sandra

[SheenaT]

1 hour ago, Sandra6sandy9sand said:

Hi Sheena and a belated welcome. Your story is similar to mine, cross dressing from age 6, guilt, keeping the secret and thinking that marriage would solve everything. It of course hasn’t but I’m at a point in my life where my feminine side is accepted by my wife of 41 years.

 

I’m trans feminine and always will be. I’m a Christian as well and know that God loves me the way I am. As time moves along I hope your wife accepts the person you are.

 

Hugs

 

Sandra

So far there is NO ACCEPTANCE ?. She thankfully is ok with me wearing panties. That itself is huge.

[SheenaT]

On 2/19/2021 at 1:11 PM, AgnesBardsie said:

You are not alone, and your story is not at all unusual. I did feel alone for a long time because I was unwilling or afraid to reach out to others. I started attending a PFLAG meeting, joined this forum, took the step of engaging a therapist All of it helps confirm and affirm who I am to myself. Every day it feels more "normal". Every smile I get from a stranger, every like I get for a post my true self makes on facebook, all compounds the interest. As far as living this way in the conservative church community we were part of for the last 30 years, we haven't been attending for over a year. Not that we really had any close friends. My wife was the one who broke away because of how our daughters were being treated.

Your wife's circle of friends may be very important to her, along with their good opinion, and if so, this may present some challenges that appear insurmountable. My only recommendation would be to take it slowly, one step at a time, one day at a time, believe in yourself, breathe, accept who you are, and that truth will reflect back to your wife and her friends. You have the truth on your side.

 

A quote that came to mind this month that I found helpful to me was from Shakespeare: "To thine own self be true, and it follows as the night the day thou canst not be false to any man."

??