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Haiku


Kasumi63

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A revision of the previous one, on the same topic, my SRS (yes, I’m still in the hospital):

 

nature rearranged

a bouquet from my mother

a new woman born

 

I hope you think this one’s better—or at least more subtle! I wanted to work “mist” in there (my name “Kasumi” means “mist”) but gave up. Maybe in a later attempt.

 

Anyway, I’m looking forward to reading many haiku! 

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My morning is arranged, typically Friday:

 

To see the trees

My path clear

Out I go

 

I am not sure I fully understand it but if my words are wrong please let me know why. Almost certainly not 5-7-5 but I like to be spontanious, not controlled.  I suppose it is really getting into the heart of the Japanese culture that is the real meaning :)

 

Tracy

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Hi, Tracy! I like your poem, and thanks for joining in the fun! You got the idea of having some aspect of nature in there, but you have even more syllables left. Your lines have 4-3-3 syllables instead of 5-7-5. 
 

I usually try to think of a specific moment in time and then try to recreate the scene, with a little twist in the final line. Relating one’s feelings to nature is part of it. 
 

For your poem, I’m imagining (maybe incorrectly, so sorry if I’m wrong) you going on a walk in the woods, maybe dressed for the first time (or not).
 

Stern oaks on both sides

A winding path through the woods

In my flower dress

 

Not so good, but that’s my attempt. Sorry I couldn’t do better. 

 

Haiku is so much fun but takes a bit of patience in arranging the syllables. But if you have a clear image in your mind, it really helps a lot.
 

I hope some other folks will join in. Haiku is so fun!!

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Thanks for your reply. No it was not really my first time dressed. It was a typical Friday in which my walking route is often via woods rather than open fields.

 

Another try - a typical Sunday occupation, after a good lunch. I hope this fits better.

 

Much a Sunday treat

Resting in the afternoon

In the springtime sun

 

I look forward to others' too!

 

Tracy

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You got it this time! I envy you for being able to take a stroll in the woods! Must be nice. I live in the city. 

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  • 1 month later...

A new haiku for my current situation: dilating as a typhoon closes in. Nature reflects my struggle! LOL. My aim: Lines of  5-7-5 syllables, connection to nature, with a twist at the end.

 

scary winds approach

pushing fragile barriers 
my dilation woes

 

 

 

 

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  • 3 months later...


5-7-5 poem about my current situation 


Jasmine scent fading

While waiting for surgery

Bangkok quarantine

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  • 2 years later...
On 8/3/2021 at 9:54 PM, Kasumi63 said:


5-7-5 poem about my current situation 


Jasmine scent fading

While waiting for surgery

Bangkok quarantine

Good luck and good health @Kasumi63!  A jasmine-scented prayer for you.

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On 10/7/2023 at 12:10 AM, gemmalouise said:

I so love Haiku

I have written one or two

I hope you do too

 

A haiku and a poem!

I would love to see your haiku!  Please post one or two!!

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On 10/9/2023 at 4:37 PM, gemmalouise said:

Forests are deep greens

Cloudy skies are grey with mist

Rainbows, many hues

I like this one a lot! Not only does it follow the 5-7-5 pattern and focus on nature, but it put me in the poem, too! (My name, Kasumi, means "mist" in Japanese.)

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