Emotions, Feelings and HRT

[Heather Shay]

Were you able to express postive emotions or feelings before starting HRT - I don't mean anger and frustration or anxiety or depression (I think that comes with the territory) - I mean crying outloud (can be a positive to finally release) or calmness or smiling?

 

I first cried - something I'd repressed all my life - I also relaxed more, less irritable and reduction of depression and anxiety. Did all the negative go away? NO. But they became much more manageable and less debilitating.

 

How about your personal experience. I'd love to know.

[Maddee]

I've always been emotional, frustrated, angry, etc; but rarely cried. Nor smiled, or calm.

 

No emotion change my first six months on HRT.  Then my levels got going.  I've been crying easily ever since.  I love it and I don't really care where not when I do it!

[rainflower]

I've always been prone to frustration and mood swings, so the hrt didn't change much in that regard, even after a year. Maybe I feel things a little deeper. I think I'm a nicer person, but that may or may not be related to hrt. I laugh because depending on what you read, hrt is a magical life changing experience. For me it mostly changed my sexual function and how I look.

[Bri2020]

1 hour ago, Maddee said:

I've always been emotional, frustrated, angry, etc; but rarely cried. Nor smiled, or calm.

 

No emotion change my first six months on HRT.  Then my levels got going.  I've been crying easily ever since.  I love it and I don't really care where not when I do it!

Similar. I kinda lost all control of my emotions around 2-3 months in.  I've always been a sap and movies and stuff could bring a tear to my eye but outright sobbing never happened.  HAHA, nowadays it can happen pretty much any day. On the flip side, I don't have the inner rage just simmering within me waiting to be let loose.  I still get angry but not ANGRY if that makes any sense. Coming up on 7 months now and I seem to be leveling off a bit.  I did fall on the ice about 2 weeks back and just laid there  on the ground sobbing for awhile. I wan't hurt bad, it was just the emotion of potentially aggravating my back pain that reduced me to a bubbling mess.  That kinda thing NEVER happened pre HRT.  I love it though. 

 

[Jackie C.]

2 hours ago, Shay said:

Were you able to express postive emotions or feelings before starting HRT - I don't mean anger and frustration or anxiety or depression (I think that comes with the territory) - I mean crying outloud (can be a positive to finally release) or calmness or smiling?

 

Yes. It wasn't as deep as it was now, but I was never very good at being a dude. I'd cry (though I'd try not to), smile, etc... I could be calm, but the mental static made that hard. I was on edge a lot more than I was at peace.

 

2 hours ago, Shay said:

I first cried - something I'd repressed all my life - I also relaxed more, less irritable and reduction of depression and anxiety. Did all the negative go away? NO. But they became much more manageable and less debilitating.

 

The depression has all but vanished. The mental static is gone and my general thorniness with it. My emotional world is much more vibrant and rich too. My lows are lower and my highs are higher, but my general day to day feeling is a lot more mellow. I can get anxious about things, but my default setting is more relaxed and patient. Even when I my temper does flare up, it quickly subsides to the voice of reason. I think that's more a habit I need to break than a core part of me anymore.

 

Interestingly, I've noticed the love I feel for my wife has changed and intensified. I adore her and it's a fiercer love without the undertones of jealousy I felt with the testosterone. It's hard to put into words, but my feelings are deeper and there's more passion, but the passion doesn't feel like boy passion. There's no possessiveness or need, just a deep welling of respect and a desire to please and comfort. It probably looks the same on the outside, but it feels very different on the inside. More of a love among equals? It's deeper and feels more blue. I understand that that makes no sense, but love seldom does.

Well, maybe not entirely the same from the outside. I'm more flirty with her and definitely more physical, but it's not a sexual-physical it's more of a "I like to feel you close to me" physical. There are more cute PDAs and I find myself being silly with her more often. It's a lot like falling in love all over again but...not.

 

I feel like myself and I am largely at peace thanks to a little ocean colored pill. What more could I ask for?

 

Hugs!

[Heather Shay]

1 hour ago, Jackie C. said:

Interestingly, I've noticed the love I feel for my wife has changed and intensified. I adore her and it's a fiercer love without the undertones of jealousy I felt with the testosterone. It's hard to put into words, but my feelings are deeper and there's more passion, but the passion doesn't feel like boy passion. There's no possessiveness or need, just a deep welling of respect and a desire to please and comfort. It probably looks the same on the outside, but it feels very different on the inside. More of a love among equals? It's deeper and feels more blue. I understand that that makes no sense, but love seldom does.

 

[Heather Shay]

@Jackie C. - still got problems with the partial quote function - that's why the last reply just had the part I wanted to comment on. This morning I went for a nice walk to drop off in the post box a couple miles from my house some comics I'd sold. I let my mind wander and going on 8 months of HRT - realized how much I am identifying with everything and everyone female and how much I've come to disdain the males I'm involved with - not that I'm mad at them - but rather seeing as an observer what I was conditioned to act like - although I don't feel accepted by the CIS girls in general there have been some who have overwhelmingly accepted me and that feels incredible. I love the calmness and lessing of hurry hurry hurry and frustration. Changing from coffee to tea might have helped a little as well but in most of the WONDERFUL changes - HRT is the miracle for me.

[Ivy]

2 hours ago, Bri2020 said:

I've always been a sap and movies and stuff could bring a tear to my eye but outright sobbing never happened. 

Yeah, me.  But I always tried to hide those "something-in-my-eye" moments.  Gotta keep up the illusion here.

Now when something gets me, the waterworks start for real, sobs and all.

 

2 hours ago, Bri2020 said:

On the flip side, I don't have the inner rage just simmering within me waiting to be let loose. 

This too.  Most of my life I was always just a little angry on the inside - no good reason.  This disappeared when I came out.  Can't really say if it was the HRT or just relief.

[Shawnster]

All of the relpies seem to be exactly what I'm hoping for!!! I'm always anxious, angry, thin-skinned.... I'm hoping the HRT will be just what I need? 

On 3/12/2021 at 11:59 AM, Shay said:

@Jackie C. - still got problems with the partial quote function - 

Shay, the "Function" you speak of.... Isthat what I'm thinking? How has that changed? I understand the "drive" will go away, but will things still function??? I am married and granted we havent been intimate in almost a year..... will this continue? I appologize, if I'm beeing too forward.... But I really want to know....

 

Thanks, Shawn

[rainflower]

1 hour ago, Shawnster said:

All of the relpies seem to be exactly what I'm hoping for!!! I'm always anxious, angry, thin-skinned.... I'm hoping the HRT will be just what I need? 

Shay, the "Function" you speak of.... Isthat what I'm thinking? How has that changed? I understand the "drive" will go away, but will things still function??? I am married and granted we havent been intimate in almost a year..... will this continue? I appologize, if I'm beeing too forward.... But I really want to know....

 

Thanks, Shawn

She was talking about a function in the forum to quote other posts. 

 

To answer your question tho, for me the drive isn't gone exactly but I am in control of it, it happens when I want it vs it bothering me all the time and stealing my focus. I have romantic feelings still. On HRT your ability to get or maintain an erection will diminish greatly. Some transwomen use things like viagra so they can have sex that way. If that is important to you make sure to discuss that with your doctor.

[Shawnster]

Thanks Claire!!! 

that seems to be something a lot of folks just don't talk about.... I truly appreciate your reply!!!

At this stage of my transition, I'm looking for GRS, but..... It's nice to know I can still use what I have....

I have heard folks say it doesn't function anymore... So my wife and I could still be active if the stars allign....

 

Hugs, Shawn

 

[Heather Shay]

Yes it still works but takes longer and desire reduces but Claire seems more knowledgeable than I.  I suspect it is different based on your genetics.