do men help you or offer to help?

[Charlize]

Perhaps one of the first times i knew that i was "passing" was when a man rushed to open the door for me on a trip south.  That certainly felt good.  Yesterday i had some errands to do.  I had loaded 4 large tractor tires and wheels into the dump truck before heading off.  When i got to the tire store i lowered the tailgate and only had to step out of the truck before some gentlemen unloaded them for me.  Then i went in to the office and mentioned what i needed.  After that i went to get some bags of concrete mix.  Before i could ask the salesman called and had an assistant come lift them into the truck.  i also picked up a 2x6 for a project.  When i got back to the tire place i used the 2x6 to push the bags back in the truck so they could fit the tires.  I hadn't finished before the job was taken from me, and the tires were loaded.

When i joined this site some years ago i never thought this would happen.  Now this old woman knows that a nice skirt and a skirt can get a lot of work done.?

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[Carolyn Marie]

This brings back memories.  One of the first things that happened was when I was in an elevator with a man, and when the door opened I hadn't realized that he was waiting for me to exit first.  Having men open doors for me was a revelation.

 

But now that I appear older, younger women also offer to help.  At the gas station this morning a woman said, "Ma'am, do you need any help?" as I got the pump handle out.  That was nice, but it did make me feel old.  LOL!

 

Carolyn Marie

[Charlize]

I'm sure that my "somewhat" older age does bring more help?.  That being said , after changing to jeans, ii enjoyed removing the wheels myself and putting them back on the tractor and then mixing and placing the concrete.  At least today the old gal is moving.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[rainflower]

I haven't had this yet really, but then, I don't go out much haha. I do enjoy when men do this sort of thing, I like being taken care of by a man. Before COVID, when I was presenting as male this would happen now and then when I was out and about and I really liked it. I hope as we are able to get out more that this happens a lot more for me.

[VickySGV]

Being an obviously creaky old lady does have its perks and is responsible for a lot of the "help" and courtesy I get.  The best and most sincere help I get is from my younger Trans man siblings who are showing off their Guy image. They are true gentlemen in all the best ways.

[Maid In Bedlam]

Yes does happen.  I get the opening doors for me to walk through all the time. In fact you get to a point where if it doesnt you get the hump and start mumbling about how all the gentlemen have dissapeared.  I havent got to the point yet of people asking if i need a hand. Im blessed or cursed. Not quite sure what yet to look 15 years younger than i actually do. Its a shame my bones dont relise this. As they still creek regardless.

 

But it may happen all the time but everytime it does i still get a little buzz from it. It also just confirms you have made it.

 

Another one that has not been mentioned is pavement passing. its very suttle sometimes but men will walk nearset to the kerb and let me pass on the inside away from live traffic. I suppose its just a sub conscious protection thing. Anyone else noticed this or am i living in  the realms of dillusion?

[Jackie C.]

3 hours ago, Maid In Bedlam said:

I suppose its just a sub conscious protection thing. Anyone else noticed this or am i living in  the realms of dillusion?

 

That's an old rule about manners: A gentleman walks nearer the street to spare a lady splashes from passing carriages. I don't think I've seen anyone else do it in the wild though.

 

Opening doors though, I get that a lot from older men. Sometimes the younger ones too, but it's less common. I've been waving off "help with heavy things" though. It's offered when I go shopping, but I'm an amazon and fifty pounds or so is no hardship.

 

Hugs!

[Maid In Bedlam]

1 hour ago, Jackie C. said:

 

That's an old rule about manners: A gentleman walks nearer the street to spare a lady splashes from passing carriages. I don't think I've seen anyone else do it in the wild though.

 

 

Maybe it happens more over here.  But i never knew that was a given rule. I have been enlightened. Thanks jackie, Perhaps its more a Scottish thing and they still practise it as i never really noticed when i have been down in England.  yes it is normally more an older gent that goes out of his way to do it. Where the younger ones have little sense of chivalry. However there are still some. Im not going to charge them all with this crime against manhood.

[Jackie C.]

While I know I read about it somewhere, my great-grandmother was Scottish and I learned it from my grandfather, he was very big on chivalry so it could indeed still be a Scottish thing where it's fallen out of practice most everywhere else.

 

Hugs!

[Elizabeth Star]

I've had it happen a few time. One time when I went to get an oil change. The gentleman waiting in the cars next to me told the mechanic to let the lady (me) go first. While there I needed to use the rest room. The mechanic came over, opened my door, directed me to the ladies room and told me to watch my step as I exited the vehicle. He seemed like the type of guy that would have offered me his hand to assist while getting out. Maybe if we weren't in the time of covid. I have had a few guys open and hold doors for me but we are in a world of automatic doors. Another time I had bought a portable air conditioner. It's quite heavy and the cashier told me, without asking if I needed it, she would get one of the guys to help me load it.

[Sally Stone]

On 3/23/2021 at 1:25 PM, Charlize said:

When i joined this site some years ago i never thought this would happen.  Now this old woman knows that a nice skirt and a skirt can get a lot of work done.

Charlize, it's the power of femininity, gets them every time!  It is fairly common for men to display their chivalry towards me, even when it's obvious I wasn't born a woman.  To all those gentleman, I raise a glass to salute their recognition of my femininity.

[CJP]

This is such an inspiring thread to read, thank you ladies!!!

 

I was getting out of the car 2 days ago, wearing high heels (2.5 inches which is really high for me!!) and the grass was wet and a landscaper said, careful miss, don't stain your shoes. I almost died, it was so fun because he had geniune concern in his voice. and he was so sweet about it. Does that count as chivalry? I think it does?

[swallow]

How's this?... I went to pick up my pills for the first time last Friday. On attempting to leave pharmacy (conveniently next door to clinic)...

 

A gentleman outside had his hands full so I opened the door for him. He was in between apologetic and confessing to not knowing whether he wanted to come in or stay outside the pharmacy but he tried to grab the door handle...

 

I asked him if he was coming in...he muttered something between a thanks and more permutations whether he was going to decide on going or coming plus followed by somewhere in the back of his head a question mark why this lady's voice was rather low...?

 

Also as I've shared before, these days, I get people (particularly working men in trucks) wave me through an intersection first.

 

Although the reverse to this is when waiting at a light and fussing with hair in mirror, the moment the light turned green, the guy behind me honks then impatiently drives past shaking his head.?

[Elizabeth Star]

I'm still trying to get used to guys holding doors for me, especially at work.

[Jackie C.]

12 hours ago, Elizabeth Star said:

I'm still trying to get used to guys holding doors for me, especially at work.

 

It's nice when your hands are full though.

 

Of course THEN they don't do it.

 

Hugs!

[Mmindy]

Kindness isn't an act, it's a lifestyle.-Anthony Doughlas

 

I hold the door for many people, because I'm never in a hurry and it's the polite thing to do. When people say thank you, my reply is: My mother wouldn't have it any other way. They then reply she raised you right. I'm quick to say: NO SHE HIT ME A LOT. Then we all laugh...

 

Good morning, Humankind - Be Both. Human & Kind.

[Katie M]

I love male chivalry! This past Friday I was killing time in Home Depot before my waxing appointment...as I walked out from the end of an aisle toward a main crossway, I was met by a male employee pulling a cart of stock materials. He practically ran over himself to get stopped, and said "please, after you ma'am"! Later a man who was coming out of a store rushed to get out and hold the door for me. When I said "thank you", he smiled and emphatically said, "you ARE welcome"!

I love it!

[CJP]

Love this thread! Last week I was getting on a plane (first fight in a while!) and a man offered to help put my carry-on bag in the overhead bin. There's something about that masculine energy recognizing my feminine energy that is so validating and healing. For me, it's even more satisfying than being called ma'am 😉

 

[Charlize]

It's been a little over va year since i last posted in this thread.  I've unfortunately added a cane to my wardrobe.  Arthritis isn't much fun!  Still i try to keep kicking and yesterday was at Home Depot with the dump truck getting 12' 6x6 treated lumber.  I barely had to touch a thing.  I got some sweet laughs when i asked the young guys to come put them up for me.  😊

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[Jani]

I know the feeling!  When I recently purchased cabinets for my laundry room redo I needed help getting them into my truck.  It was nice to have young muscles available!

[KathyLauren]

I still remember the first time I was in Home Depot after I transitioned.  I had the roof rack on the car and I was buying lumber for some project.  As I was lifting a 2x6 onto the rack, a nice young man in an orange vest came over and asked if I'd like some help.

 

All those times before when I had looked in vain for a store employee, and suddenly here was one appearing out of the woodwork!  Obviously, I should have transitioned a lot sooner. 😄