There must be a way to become shorter, right?

[Guest]

Like, even if it's just a little bit, there must be some way, something that can be done about it, even if the bones in my spine and limbs are all fully developed already, there must be a way i can make them smaller, right?...

 

...I can't stand being 6'1 (1,86m), it's torture, i don't even demand that i was really short or anything, average height would be perfect, just not tall, anything but tall, i tower over everyone in my college class of 48 people besides 1 or 2 people at best, and most of them are taller than average already! Just to rub salt into the wound... I can't stand looking down on the people around me, i want to look up or straight at them, i hate being so big, it's not who i am inside, it's not what i wish i looked at when seeing a mirror...

 

...Sorry for my rant, i'm sure it comes of as childish and whiny, but i just needed to vent, this is the main thing i despise about my body and there's literally nothing i can do about, i'm stuck with it, and it makes me feel anguished.

[tracy_j]

Well you probably realise that there is no realistic way to be shorter. I see, your country being Brazil, that I don't really know the range of height people are but here it would not be unusual. You reminded me of a (cis) woman I used to know at work a long time ago. People did notice her as she was 6' 6" and built to match, but beautiful. She obviously had problems but everyone carried on. I wonder where she is now and how life has gone. Maybe look for the advantages of being tall; even the disadvantages of being short. I wonder how much of your worries come from MtF and fears of not passing? Sorry if that is not the case but it is common. Another point is, although you tower most everyone at the moment, how does your height compare with average fully grown height? Often, during teen years, people have growth spurts but they do level out more in time. I remember a (cis) male who joined our class in school. He got the instant nickname 'Tarzan' because of his height and build. He is still big now but not so obviously so. I would not be at all surprised if he did not worry at some point during his teens. If I remember right the occupation he took up used his advantages.

 

Just a thought or two. I hope it helps.

 

Tracy

[Dorit]

I too am a tall woman in a country of short women.  At 183cm I stand out , people notice me.  I used to think they were all clocking me until I was able to get to know some new people.  When I came out to them each one expressed surprise that I was transgender!   So we have joined the other tall women of the world that have to come to an acceptance of the things about our bodies that we cannot change.  As a matter of fact, I find that at times I connect to other tall CIS women just because we have the same issues.   So I would encourage you to embrace your uniqueness and find a tall women's clothing site.  I had to, no such thing as tall size in women's clothing in my country!

 

Oh, and by the way there is one way to get shorter: to age!  Used to be 185 when I was younger.?

[Charlize]

I have lost a bit of hight with age but i wouldn't look at that too positively?.  Instead accepting myself as a tall woman has helped.  Wednesday at a TDOV event i stood next to a lovely woman of color whose heels and hair style made her tower above me.  Another cis won a know confided that she loved being able to look down at some guys. 

We all come in different nights and body types.  Some things just don't change so we learn to live with them.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[Sally Stone]

I know how hard it is to blend in when tall Lain.  When I was younger, I wanted to be shorter so my height would be more in line a woman, but like you say, there isn't anything we can do about it.  So, I decided to just accept my height, I am 74 inches tall before I step into heels.  Over the years, I've grown comfortable with my height and now I am actually proud of being so tall.  Yep, I do get noticed a lot and I can't blend in much, but I have learned to make the best of it.

 

I hope you figure out a way to reconcile your height.  

[rainflower]

I'm about 5'9.5, which I thought would be too tall. I'm taller than most my friends and a lot of people at the stores, especially if I wear something with a raised heel. I feel like 5'6 or 5'7 would be ideal. I played a board game with a couple this last weekend, and I felt like I was towering over them. I noticed that if I change how I look at it, then I am ok with my height. I think being tall can make feel powerful and majestic, if that makes sense. Anyway, I hope you are able to figure it out and come to terms with it, I'm sure you look great.

[Guest]

I'd like to thank everyone that replied for the care and advice given, it means a lot to me :3

 

I guess that while there are tricks to appearing shorter, that we get a few centimeters shorter with time, and even with exercise from what i've read, i'll never manage to be less than 1,80m (5'11), so it won't solve my issue.

 

The only real solution i have is acceptance, or coping at least, but even tho i've tried to have a more positive attitude about it for so long, i just can't, at least not alone, i might have to seek therapy for this issue afterall, tho that could take some time due to my country's situation regarding covid.

 

Either way, i still appreciate everyone's comments and insight, i'll do my best to accept myself and the body i have from now on, and work with what i've been given.

[Petra Jane]

One key thing to consider is, as much as we love them, don't wear heels! Go for flats or sneakers. I'm just short of 6 foot in my stocking feet, so adding a 2"-3" heel (comfortable) puts me over the 6 foot mark, and if I go for 4-6" heels (NOT comfortable), well, I then tower and have to duck under most doors inside.

[rainflower]

Yeah heels are generally bad news for the feet anyway.

 

Lain, a therapist would be good if you can't do it on your own, which is ok. I would also recommend the book Beyond Beautiful by Rees, it's about body image and beauty standards, it helped me a lot and I got over some of my own hang ups. I think for some of these things, the harder we cling to being a certain way, the worse we feel about ourselves. I found that accepting all of my quirks and uniqueness was a huge step in my own happiness. 

[tracy_j]

I am around 5' 11" so am fairly tall. I like heels, at least the boots that I have, as the more toward vertical angle of my foot makes it appear shorter and more dainty. but they make me look taller so it's a compromse. I wear pretty flat shoes and boots mostly although many women's essentially flat shoes still have more rise than men's. Another issue is learning to walk with tall heels though. It takes practice so as to not looks odd but that's another story. Around here, except for a night out or similar, heels are fairly rare and attract attention. In fact it is probably a very good way to advertise being transexual.

 

Tracy