Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Trying to Understand


Gray

Recommended Posts

Hello! My name is Gray. I came out as non-binary 5 years ago and for the past year have been questioning my identity again. I'm just trying to understand myself and find it hard with no one to talk to. I'm hoping to make some friends here to help me understand myself and this beautiful community and where I fit in to all of it, you know?

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Hello @Gray and welcome to Transpulse! Lovely to meet you! We're glad you're here!

 

Hugs!

Link to comment

Hi Gray,

 

Welcome to Transpulse. Many of us are somewhat isolated by location, but you will find support here. Join in on the conversations so we can get to know each other better. I am also non-binary.

 

Hugs,

Mike

Link to comment

Welcome Gray! I think you'll find loving support & a place where you fit in here.

 

Hugs!

Delcina

Link to comment

Welcome, @Gray!  I identify as non-binary but am now in my 17th month of HRT, so I'm just another example that gender identities come in all flavors.  We're here to talk, commiserate, and support each other.

 

Best,

 

Astrid

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
5 hours ago, Gray said:

I'm just trying to understand myself

Hello @Gray, it’s a pleasure to meet you.

 

Many of us are doing the same. It’s sometimes a long process to understand just who and what we are. It can take even longer to accept the final conclusion. We are here to help any way we can. No pressure but if your up to it, consider sharing a little more about how you got to where you are now. Maybe others will have some insight that rings true for you.

 

Warmest Regards,

Susan R?

Link to comment

I relate to much of this. "I'm afraid to move forward, and afraid not to."  I relate to this. I'm also afraid to do nothing. I'm in a sad and lonely place, but I feel happier when I'm here. I accept myself better without knowing who that is.  Questioning is confusing. Non-binary feels like a step forward, but how do I get used to feeling happier? Thanks for letting me mumble while I consider myself.
Yours, Davie 

Link to comment

Thank you everyone for replying and being so kind! 

 

I don't mind sharing more at all.

I was 19 when I came out to my partner as non-binary. I felt like being a girl just didn't fit. My mom forced her ideas of what a girl should be like on me from the get go. She dressed me her way until I was around 13-14. After that, I began to experience what I think was gender dysphoria. I started dressing in baggy clothes to hide my body, I tried acting like a boy, soon, I started wanting to be a boy. 

 

 When I was younger, I had no clue what it meant to be non-binary or trans. I thought it was a bad thing cause my parents talked about how Cher lost her "beautiful baby girl" and got Chaz instead and how sad that was. What my parents said always echoed in my mind. When I realized I was non-binary, it took me a couple of years to come out to them, but when I did, they didn't understand and said they were confused by it and would stick to she/her pronouns cause that's what they're used to. Regardless of what they said, I soon came out to my work colleagues and now where a little pin with they/them on it. I felt euphoric.

 

Fast forward to now, and now I'm just confused and scared. Am I a boy? I'm definitely not cis. But non-binary doesn't seem to fit anymore. 

 

As you all can tell, I'm very confused. Thank you for letting me chat about my experiences.

hugs!

 

 

 

Link to comment

Hi @Gray!  nice to meet you, and Welcome!
You've found a great place to meet your goal of "understanding" yourself and meeting others.  I've been here for about a year (Wow! already a year?) and this Forum and all the great Members (and Therapy) helped me move from Questioning to Self-Acceptance as Transfeminine.

Its a different journey and destination for everybody but I am confident your will find your way ...


Deep breaths ... one step at a time

Link to comment
  • 4 weeks later...

Hello, Kay. Others, too. I'm new to Pulse, but not new in most other ways. (I can only wish!) I'm 76 and have juggled identity labels all of my life. When I joined Pulse I saw "transfeminine" for the first time. I thought, Mmm, maybe that's me? But of course, I'm not sure. Over the years at one timeor another I've 'em all, beginning with questioning, gay (when I was a teen), eventually moving on to all-American CD (when I was in the service––very carefully, of course!), non-op transsexual, non-op transgender person, and now (maybe) transfeminine person. As I am non-op (and, at the moment, plan to remain so), does transfeminine seem like the right identity label for a person like me? (I don't particularly care for the word "label," but I see I've used it; I'll let it remain for now.) I'd welcome anyone's thoughts on this. Thanks much! Cheers all around! ––Riannon

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
2 hours ago, Riannon said:

Hello, Kay. Others, too. I'm new to Pulse, but not new in most other ways. (I can only wish!) I'm 76 and have juggled identity labels all of my life. When I joined Pulse I saw "transfeminine" for the first time. I thought, Mmm, maybe that's me? But of course, I'm not sure. Over the years at one timeor another I've 'em all, beginning with questioning, gay (when I was a teen), eventually moving on to all-American CD (when I was in the service––very carefully, of course!), non-op transsexual, non-op transgender person, and now (maybe) transfeminine person. As I am non-op (and, at the moment, plan to remain so), does transfeminine seem like the right identity label for a person like me? (I don't particularly care for the word "label," but I see I've used it; I'll let it remain for now.) I'd welcome anyone's thoughts on this. Thanks much! Cheers all around! ––Riannon

 

Identify however you like. First word of advice is always, "Don't get hung up on labels." I've seen too many members go 'round in circles looking for the exact combination of syllables that define them. Humans aren't like that and English is, frankly, a terrible language that has somehow been inflicted on the rest of the world instead of something more sensible. It's imprecise, the rules are inconsistent and there are LOTS of things it doesn't have proper words for. The only thing I really like about it is that it doesn't feel the need to gender everything.

I have a personal loathing for gendered tongues. I mean who does that?

 

Hugs!

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   4 Members, 0 Anonymous, 181 Guests (See full list)

    • Abigail Genevieve
    • MirandaB
    • Jet McCartney
    • MaryEllen
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      768.7k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,033
    • Most Online
      8,356

    ArtavikenGenderflui
    Newest Member
    ArtavikenGenderflui
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Adele Svetova
      Adele Svetova
      (25 years old)
    2. BROOKSGLASS
      BROOKSGLASS
      (34 years old)
    3. FinnyFinsterHH
      FinnyFinsterHH
      (16 years old)
    4. fool4luv
      fool4luv
      (26 years old)
    5. itsaddison
      itsaddison
      (20 years old)
  • Posts

    • Abigail Genevieve
      Over here muttering about "a new Jim Crow against a persecuted minority."    
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Rants are not a problem.  My favorite hobby! :)   What's out there is bad enough that I wonder why some people feel they need to embellish it.  Be alert.   Some of this will need to be fought in court if they try to implement it. If people are out to get me, paranoia is justified.  And this may not be the only document.   Abby
    • Ivy
      Not in so many words, therefore it's not there at all.  Excuse my paranoia. And the states passing laws against us are nothing to worry about either. Having to change my gender back to male (like in Florida) is reasonable.  I should just accept it, I mean I was born with a dk.  So that "F" is lie, and a fraud.  My delusions need to be dealt with for my own good.   I'm just frustrated these days.  Just a bit of a rant.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      You probably remember the Target PR fiasco.  I remember reading an account from a woman who shopped there.  She went into a stall and did her business, and someone came into the bathroom and began swinging stall doors open, and when she came to her stall, the woman peeked at her through the crack. "What are you doing?" "Checking for perverts." The writer was so stunned by the absurdity that she finished up ASAP and got out of there, while the other woman entered a stall and locked it, made sure it was locked, and locked it again. 
    • Adrianna Danielle
      Been a good day.Cleaned my closet of clothes that I do not wear anymore and do not fit me.It looks better now.Came down to my newest property beside mine,owner passed and I inherited it.There was a double wide there that was removed,it was in bad shape.It is the shop part I am keeping which I got the tools,shop equipment,benches,hoists and shelving too.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Nothing about eradicating TG folk. 
    • Ivy
      If 9 out of 10 parts are ok, that doesn't mean I need to accept the bad parts (that are aimed directly at me).  That seems suicidal.
    • Ivy
      True, most of it has nothing to do directly with us.  It's the parts that do that are the problem.   I see the  few problematic statements as being a big problem.  Just because a lot of it may be okay, doesn't change that. Even supposing the rest of it might be good for the country, it doesn't help me if I'm being "eradicated".  I suppose I should be good with that, because it's for the "greater good".  If me being gone would please a number of people, then it's my civic duty to disappear, and vote to implement that.
    • Ivy
      Yeah.  There are already laws against assault.  I don't think the overwhelming majority of trans women have any desire to harass cis women.  Speaking for myself, if I go into a women's washroom, it's because my eyeballs are already floating - not for kicks.  And I worry about getting clocked and assaulted by some guy being a "hero."
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Only three, maybe four, sections even mention transgender.  Most is a conservative agenda I have no problem with.   In the sections that mention transgender, there are very few lines.  Those lines ARE problematic, in every case. Unequivocally.  I can't see some of them standing up in court.  In one case a recommended policy goes against a court decision, which strongly suggests the implementation of that policy would be stopped in court.    Anyone maintaining that this is written simply to support Trump, to support him becoming a dictator, to crush transgender people is feeding you a line.  Nor is it an attempt to erase transgender people.   People will have to decide if the overall goals are worth the few problematic statements.  Overall, I support it.  Of course, I have some reservations.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      It is unfamiliar, therefore threatening.   For 90% or so of the population, gender id can be simply and quickly determined by a quick anatomical observation.  They have no understanding and cannot imagine what it would mean to have a body different from the id.  It is unimaginable.  Therefore, wrong.   So there is this strong headwind.   I haven't entered this discussion, but here is a script: A: I can't imagine what it must be to have TG. B: You're a man, right? A: Well, of course. "amused" B: Imagine you were required by law and custom to wear women's clothing all the time. A: It wouldn't happen. B: Okay, but for the sake of the argument... A: That would be disgusting.  I would be very uncomfortable. B: You have it.  That is what TG people go through all the time. 24-7-365. A: Really? B: And then they are told they are perverts for having those feelings.  The same you just described. A: I see. B: And someone comes along and tells you you need conversion therapy so you will be comfortable wearing women's clothing all the time. A: I think I would break his nose. B: You understand transgender folk better than you think.
    • EasyE
      I have found some people correlate TG = child predator ... just as some have correlated homosexual = child predator...    I am baffled by the TG = unsafe connection ... my wife tends to think this way, that this is all about sexual deviancy ... I try to ask how my preference for wearing frilly socks with embroidered flowers and a comfortable camisole under my lavender T-shirts is sexually deviant (or sexual anything) but I don't get very far... 
    • EasyE
      Best wishes to you as you take this step ... many blessings to you! 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Not sure.  The perp is a minor.  The problem here is NOT transgender, the problem here is incompetent and criminal administration.  See https://www.nbcwashington.com/news/local/family-of-loudoun-co-student-sexually-assaulted-ineptitude-of-all-involved-is-staggering/3231725/ It is more than annoying that people think the problem here is TG and that other people think the solution is some stupid statewide law.  Like an appendectomy to deal with an ingrown toe nail.    Since Loudon, I recall a boy was asked not to use the girl's restroom at a high school by one of the girls.  He, overwhelming her with height and weight,  assaulted her, claiming he had a right to be there.   Later I think eight girls beat him severely in another girl's restroom.  Again the problem is not transgender, the problem is assaults in restrooms and common courtesy.  TG is used as a smokescreen and it seems to paralyze thought among administrators who do not want to do anything to provoke controversy.
    • VickySGV
      Time to get with your Primary Care doctor and be referred to a neurologist or an orthopedist.  It could be many things, too many for any of us here to guess at. 
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...