I need an escape

[whatishappening]

I had another nightmare last night. Sleeping doesn’t really feel safe right now. I wanna escape from this. Everything feels like it’s too much. I want to get drunk, but my parents would notice right away and they put up two more cameras in the house. I feel so stuck. I just want to escape.

[Heather Shay]

Do you have a Counsellor or Therapist you can talk to? Drinking only numbs pain (I've been there) and I've also had nightmares and wanted to escape. Seeking help (don't know your age but I think others here can advise you of resources - I'm copying Vicky she is wonderful in giving this kind of resources @VickySGV).

 

I know it is YOU going through this and no one can totally understand YOUR pain, but know that you are not alone and many of us here have experienced similar situations and I want you to know to hang in there and you will find comfort, support and advice here to help you.

 

YOU ARE LOVED.

[whatishappening]

I’d rather feel numb than keep feeling this.

[rainflower]

Do you have a therapist tho? It sounds like you have trauma to work thru. They do have medication that can help with nightmares.

[whatishappening]

I do, but I don’t trust him.

[Ivy]

4 hours ago, whatishappening said:

they put up two more cameras in the house.

I suppose they just want to  help, but I doubt this does it…

I know it would bother me.

[whatishappening]

I don’t have any privacy. I don’t feel safe in my own house.

[VickySGV]

As @Shaysaid, the drinking will only make it worse, and you will be worse off to go that way.  You say you have a therapist which is a good thing, but you will either have to trust the therapist or find someone you can trust.  You may be able to trust that person to at least tell them about the anxiety about what your parents are doing, and leave it there without hitting the Trans angles.  Look for a Trans or LGBT Center near you since they will know your resources far better than I can come up with.  If it comes to really wanting to hurt yourself, it is best for YOU to go into a local Emergency Room.  It may result in some hospitalization and or time away from your parents so you can heal.  Use the booze though and you may get involuntarily handled that way by your parents or civil authorities.  I know this is tough stuff, but you do not need to live with the anxiety that  you are.

 

[Charlize]

I found that drinking very soon lost it's ability to dull pain.  Instead things just got worse and i added a drinking problem to my problems.  As Vicky mentioned you would be better off finding a therapist who you can trust and opening up.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize