Does anyone relate to this?

[ClarkDiesInside]

I think I'm probably genderfluid, and I know other genderfluid people's preferences in things like clothing change with their gender, but I think other tiny things that aren't really related to gender change for me? I don't become a completely new person, but I get annoyed more easily as boy me but I'm also more calm? Things like that. And I try to only shower and change as a girl because doing those as boy me would probably be pain. 

 

it could just be my mood having a strange correlation with the gender I feel like, or I might just be weird 

[Jackie C.]

I don't think so. I know different parts of my personality became dominant when I transitioned. I'd imagine it's much the same if you're genderfluid. Just different bits have priority when you feel one way or the other.

 

Hugs!

[Davie]

Yes, for me I find my mind and personality changing, my attitudes, my preferences . . . towards something perhaps more feminine. At least the choices I have about those things are more open. Perhaps, it's an environmental thing—a community shapes its members. I remember back in college living with a friend who came out as a gay man and how that changed me, too. For the better, I'm sure. I became more aware of all my own biases, more accepting of differences among others and I also felt it within myself. I'm sure it made me a better writer, which I should feel grateful for, for instance.

I need to spend time with a gender therapist to sort myself out on exactly where I stand with myself, before I make any decisions on HRT therapy, but even without that . . . I am changing inside. Maybe inside changes are the most important in any case.

Thanks all, for being a forum of safety and inclusion for me.

(I've never experienced so many episodes of tears-of-joy before—so thanks for that, too.)

Hugs,

Davie

 

[Sally Stone]

For a long time I was convinced that my male and female characteristics were exclusive to my male and female personas respectively.  Now, however, after many years living with, and expressing both personas, I realize that most of those characteristics I thought were gender specific, were part of the whole all along.  I think a lot of my feminine characteristics simply lied dormant until I began expressing my feminine side.  I see them now, no matter what my gender expression. 

[Davie]

6 hours ago, Sally Stone said:

For a long time I was convinced that my male and female characteristics were exclusive to my male and female personas respectively.  Now, however, after many years living with, and expressing both personas, I realize that most of those characteristics I thought were gender specific, were part of the whole all along.  I think a lot of my feminine characteristics simply lied dormant until I began expressing my feminine side.  I see them now, no matter what my gender expression. 

Thank you, Sally and Mary Jane—

That makes a lot of sense to me that I didn't see before. And it makes it less scary to think I'm not changing from one side to the other so much, as expressing a feminine side long dormant within me. Glad to feel freer about my real self. Must have taken a lot of my energy to suppress that all these years. Let's dance!

 

-- Davie