Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Androphylic or Gynophylic ?


Vini

Recommended Posts

Hi Everyone,  I am starting mtf transition and trying to figure figure myself out to describe it to others and hopefully find a good relationship after 3 failed marriages.  I'm 69yo and have always wanted to be a female.  But I was drafted was drafted in 1972 when I was 19yo and set off on the journey of surviving in the world as male.  I am not attracted to gay or straight males but wouldn't say never or have anything against them except bad past experiences with male friends.  I am wondering if I will change as my body changes through hrt feel more confident as a female.  I feel very comfortable with my long hair and girl jeans and being called Ma'am.  I have read some confusing things on line about what an Androphylic or Gynophylic  Trans female is.  Some studies have tried to label one or the other as homosexual transgender and others as only interested in the titillation of crossdressing.  Also I am wondering about gay or straight women who are attracted to transgender females which may be for another discussion group after I figure out what I am.  Which also leads to how do I find friends and a relationship as whatever I am.  Thank you for your help, Vini

Link to comment
  • Admin
1 hour ago, Vini said:

Androphylic or Gynophylic  Trans female is.

 

The terms simply mean Male attracted or Female attracted, and Trans people can be either, neither, or both, or even something else such as attraction to other Trans people.  It is a wide spectrum and the best way to resolve it in your mind is to find a therapist who can work with you on it.  Sexual attraction does not determine if you are Trans and legitimize your decision that you are or are not Trans.

 

1 hour ago, Vini said:

Which also leads to how do I find friends and a relationship as whatever I am.  Thank you for your help, Vini

 

Check out a local LGBTQ Community Center in your area and attend its functions is my best recommendation.  For now, the functions are mostly on-line, but my Center is already discussing plans for re-opening and we have some fun ideas.

Link to comment

I'm about your age myself and had been married to a woman for years, although no longer.  I was always attracted to females.  Eventually I realized that this was partly that I wanted to be them.  Sometimes I wonder if my marriage was somehow living vicariously through her.  (But that would be another thread)  I'm still not physically attracted to guys, however…  If I were to meet a guy who is actually attracted to me as a person, I believe I would be up for it, and probably enjoy it.  I suppose that's a different sort of attraction, maybe more feminine?  I guess I would like to be wanted for myself.

Personally, I suspect I'm probably kinda pansexual, if that makes any sense.

 

A lot of young people don't realize we older folks still think about these things. 

 

I do know (not from personal experience) that there are cis guys that are attracted to transwomen specifically.  But most wouldn't want to admit it.

 

But personally, I think I'm just doomed to a lonely life.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

It seems, from talking to other trans women, that most of us retain the same attractions as we had before transition.  If we wanted to be with women before, we still do after.  If we wanted to be with men before, we still do.  That is the majority.  Some trans folks do find that their orientation changes with transition.  I know one lady who was surprised to find that she was attracted to men after transition, when she had had no interest in them before.

 

Androphillic and gynophillic would be useful terms, except that they have been poisoned by a guy named Blanchard, who promoted the theory that you referred to in your post, @Vini.  The "some studies" you referred to was basically just one guy's opinion.  It has been largely discredited by mainstream trans researchers and therapists.  Unfortunately, because he user those terms, people will assume you are referring to his theory, and will often get angry.

 

By themselves, the terms ought to have meant men-attracted and women-attracted.  But you pretty much can't use them any more without getting a reaction.

Link to comment

Didn't he have some stuff about autogynophillia in there too?  You're either gay, or into yourself as a woman.  As far as I know he never considered trans women much.

Link to comment
  • Admin
3 hours ago, Jandi said:

Didn't he have some stuff about autogynephilia in there too?  You're either gay, or into yourself as a woman.  As far as I know he never considered trans women much.

 

Blanchard and then Kenneth Zucker and Michael Baily all had things to say about Autogynephila which still rears its head depending on which H8 group or person you are up against.  They are the patrons of Trans into sex perversion.

Link to comment

Thank you all for the great responses to my topic.  I'm feeling a little emotional about the support you all are giving me.  I will address your topics more in the near future.  And I will discuss this with my therapist at my next meeting.  I hope, like me, that you don't feel so alone with the support of Transgenderpulse, Jandi.  And not quite so alone as before you started living true to your real self, Vini

Link to comment

Transgenderpulse has been a lifeline for me.   Before, I was really isolated from any other transgender people.  It is great to be able to share our thoughts and struggles with each other.  The older folks are a great inspiration for how to deal with the things that come up in our daily lives.

Cis folks can be supportive, but there are some things they can never really understand.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

@Jandi and @Vini you're answers say it all - I am so appreciative of the wonderful folks here who understand and support. It's like my friend who served in Vietnam said about Vietnam vets - "If you haven't been there, you can't understand what it was like." So to for us in the trans community. Although I am eternally grateful for those blessed souls who were born CIS but are there 100% for us, they still can't know what it's like and so it is comforting and re-assuring to know we are not all alone.

Link to comment

@VickySGV and @KathyLauren Thank you, I did discuss this with my Therapist and She agrees that people usually have the same attractions after transition as before and that there can be different combinations  of attractions and do not determine whether you a Transgender or not, and people can change over time.  So thanks for the warning me about using these terms.  I had my suspicions about their pigeonholing of people,

 

My Therapist also suggested getting involved in the local LGBTQ group Rainbow Center for finding friends.  But I tried to watch Transparent on Prime and had to get it out of my head and went back to finish my borrowed book She's Not There by Jennifer Finney Boylan which turned out to be a great book about Transgender experience.  She touches on some of the discussion in this topic, but I don't want to spoil the book for you.  But I am still deeply moved and given courage by Her book.  Thank you all again. 

Link to comment
  • Admin
1 hour ago, Vini said:

She touches on some of the discussion in this topic, but I don't want to spoil the book for you.  But I am still deeply moved and given courage by Her book. 

 

Jenny Boylan is a personal acquaintance of several occasions, and she did a reading from the revision to the book a few years back at a convention I had been at, so I know how it came out. I have given copies of it to new folks and their families  I was a background artist (extra) for Transparent a time or two as well.  Do get with a local support group at your LGBTQ Community Center as well.  I am on the Board Of Directors of my local center and know the senses of fellowship and community that help so very many people in their coming out and Transition.

Link to comment

@VickySGV Wow! Small World.  I hope Jennifer is doing ok.  I did send a short thank you for her book email at aol, but she probably gets millions.  I was an English major in college too.  But the one time I went to the English Department offices, a Professor was screaming at a student so I never went back.  I just went to my Advisor's office after that.  Later, my first wife made fun of me and my Professor for being effeminate after a poetry reading.  One of those pebbles on the pile of stones.  But I did do my freshman year in Pennsylvania,  Climbed a small mountain in New England, and got lost driving a truck in NYC, Boston and Maine : )  I'm really looking forward to reading her other books.

Link to comment

@VickySGV Knowing you were an extra on Transparent is motivating me to get back into it.  I was feeling like there was a lot of overacting.  Maybe it is too close to home and not close enough. There are so many possibilities for our transgender experiences.  I also read somewhere that Jennifer Boylan was a consultant or advisor for Transparent.  And thank you again for knowing Jennifer, I found some more of her on Youtube and I like her even more now.  You haven't met the actor who plays Jules on Euphoria have you ?

Link to comment
  • Admin
1 hour ago, Vini said:

You haven't met the actor who plays Jules on Euphoria have you ?

Without the actors name I have to say not that I know of, but there are others in our community who I do know as good friends.  I am a founding member of the Trans Chorus Of Los Angeles and we have backed up some "star" level singers in the 5 yeas the Chorus has been together (October 2015 was our formation) and in fall 2019 did a commercial for Pantene products during a series they did on Trans people. The last time I said hello to Jenny Boylan was at one of the Chorus presentations while she had been working with a more problematic Trans individual, and I was busy doing sound engineering. (I have only sung with them since we have had Zoom rehearsals, but it is fun.)

 

Link to comment

@VickySGV Thanks again, you are an inspiration. I don't know if I can ask if you have a book or articles, that may intrude on you confidentiality on Tpulse, I don't know.  I could have a book in me, but I think my low self esteem from abuse is saying forget it. Whoa, that's a whole other topic : ) kind of like my own running joke lol.

Link to comment
  • Admin
5 hours ago, Vini said:

Thanks again, you are an inspiration. I don't know if I can ask if you have a book or articles,

 

I have a couple of books I am working on, but I get easily distracted which may be easy to see from my post number here and on other sites, but it is fun, and keeps 73 year old brain arteries from getting too hard.  I can only remember about 8 run ins with news reporters, including one where I am anonymous but my friends recognize who it was they meant, and another from my Church's national news outlet. I have been in the wrong place with a couple of documentary film makers including one who was making a film on the life of a young (and beautiful) Trans girl who is my honorary God Daughter as a result.  Throw in Trans 101 Training to a few community groups through my LGBTQ Community Center and I do not spend much time sitting in my backyard.  Now that I have listed this, I get an idea of why I feel exhausted some times, but I am having fun in retirement.

My suggestion is to get yourself involved with the LGBTQ Communities nearer to where you live and you will find service opportunities in a fairly safe environment of inclusion.  Open mics on National Coming Out Day, (2nd Friday in October), the participation that is invited on Transgender Day of Remembrance (Nov. 20th), Transgender Day of Visibility  (March 31) and various Pride events in June where there are community service organizations galore, all looking for members and almost all Trans inviting. No matter what your interests there is going to be something to do as a way of service that leads to friendship and fellowship and even more to leadership. .

Link to comment

I'm not sure what I could possibly add to this discussion, but it's a marvelously well-spoken one. Sometimes when I need to learn something, the world sends me the right messages.

Thanks for all that.

 

Yours,

Davie 

Link to comment

Thats great @Davie  between this topic and the other I started: "17 Signs I was Transgender and didn't know it"  I've been keeping busy and fulfilled thanks to VickySGV and the other members.  Jackie Rabbit on Youtube was right about finding great friends on Tpulse.

 

And thanks again @VickySGV for the advice and experiences.  I heard the secret to retirement  is keeping busy. You are doing a good job.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   2 Members, 0 Anonymous, 108 Guests (See full list)

    • RaineOnYourParade
    • Willow
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      768.5k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,029
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Selkimur
    Newest Member
    Selkimur
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. BraxtonLee
      BraxtonLee
      (26 years old)
    2. Bryanna
      Bryanna
      (45 years old)
    3. Jayde1
      Jayde1
    4. Mireya
      Mireya
      (66 years old)
    5. Shellianne_Kay83
      Shellianne_Kay83
      (41 years old)
  • Posts

    • RaineOnYourParade
      Congrats to your family on the new addition!
    • RaineOnYourParade
      Funny you think that I would be able to get through more than two sentences with how bad my stutter gets (joking, of course)   My topic would probably be mythology, random Japan factoids in my mind, or a favorite story   (Best option would be a fave story of mine including a lot of factoids on Japanese myths-)
    • Willow
      Congratulations @ivy. Nothing beats a family growing two feet at a time!
    • April Marie
      I read each of your entries and learn so much. Thank you, especially, for the TransCentralPA info. I have been looking fora group and activities where I could express myself safely and with support. I missed this year's conference but next year might be possible and I am going to look at their other events, too.
    • April Marie
      Leadership and Management, the differences and similarities between the two as well as the applications of military leadership principles across the spectrum of professions.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I have read numerous accounts of trans folk no longer being welcome among evangelicals.   I am here for help and fellowship not to rebuke anyone.  I can take a pretty high degree of insult, etc., and you haven't insulted me, to my recollection anyway :) and I usually let it go.  But I thought I would let it all out there.   I am sure I disagree with you on numerous issues.  I appreciate other people's viewpoints, including those who radically disagree with me.  Intellectual challenge is good. One thing I appreciate about @MaeBe.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Congrats!
    • Sally Stone
      Post 8 “The Ohio Years” We moved to Pittsburgh because of the job with US Airways.  The job involved classroom instruction and simulator training, but no actual flying, so I kept looking for an actual pilot position.  A year after signing on with US Airways I got hired to fly business jets.  The company was located in Cleveland, Ohio, but I was flown commercially from my home in Pittsburgh to where my aircraft was located, making it unnecessary to live near company headquarters.    My flight scheduled consisted of eight days on duty with seven days off.  Having seven days off in a row was great but being gone from home eight days in a row was difficult.  For the first few years the flying was fun, but after a while the eight flying days in a row, were taking their toll on me.  Those days were brutal, consisting of very long hours and a lot of flying time.  Usually, I came home exhausted and need three days just to recover from the work week.  Flying for a living is glamorous until you actually do it.  Quickly, it became just a job.    After five years as a line captain, I became a flight department manager, which required we live near company headquarters.  That meant a move to Cleveland.  Working in the office meant I was home every night but as a manager, the schedule was still challenging.  I would work in the office all week and then be expected to go out and fly the line on weekends.  I referred to it as my “5 on 2 on” schedule, because it felt as though I had no time off at all.   About the same time, we moved to Cleveland, my wife and I became “empty nesters,” with one son in the military and the other away at college.  Sadly, my work schedule didn’t leave much time for Sally.  Add to the fact that while Cleveland is an awesome city, I just never felt comfortable expressing my feminine side.  Most of my outings, and believe me there weren’t enough, occurred while I was on vacation and away from home.   One of the most memorable outings occurred over a long weekend.  I had stumbled across an online notice for a spring formal being held in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, hosted by a local trans group there.  I reached out to Willa to see if she was up for an excellent adventure.  She was, so I picked her up and we drove to Harrisburg together.    The formal was held on Saturday evening and we had the absolute best time.  It turned out that organizers were a group named TransCentralPA.  Everyone was wonderful and I made a lot of new friends that evening.  We learned the spring formal was one of the group’s annual events but for the following year, instead of a spring formal, the group wanted to do a local transgender conference.  That local conference would become the Keystone Conference, and I would attend every year for the next 12.  My move to the west coast was the only reason I stopped attending annually.  I went to the first annual Keystone Conference as an attendee, but in subsequent years I served as a volunteer and as a workshop presenter; more about those in the next installment.   For my Cleveland years, the Keystone Conference would be my major outlet for feminine self-expression.  Yes, I did get out on other occasions, but they were too infrequent.  The managerial job just didn’t allow me the freedom I needed to adequately live my feminine life, and my frustration level was slowly, but steadily on the rise.  It amazed me how adversely not being able to express the feminine half of my personality was affecting my happiness.   However, a major life change was upcoming, and while it would prove to be a significant challenge in many ways, the events would ultimately benefit my female persona.  First, my mom and dad got sick.  They were in and out of the hospital and required personal care.  My wife and I did our best but living in Cleveland, we were too far from them to give them the support they both needed.  Second, I was experiencing serious job burn out.  I decided I need to find another job and I needed to be closer to my parents.    Things changed for the better when I got hired by an aviation training company as a flight simulator instructor.  I would be training business jet pilots.  The training facility was located in New Jersey, which put us much closer to my parents, and the work schedule was much better for quality of life.  Most importantly, this life change would help Sally re-emerge and once again flower.    Hugs,   Sally       
    • Mmindy
      I made a living talking about bulk liquids in cargo tanks transportation as a driver and mechanic. Safe loading/unloading, cleaning and inspecting, as well as emergency response scenarios.   Hazmat and fire behavior in the fire service as well as emergency vehicle operations and safe driving. "It was on fire when they called you. It will be on fire when you get there." Arrive ready to work. I could also talk about firefighter behavioral  heath and the grieving process.   The real fun thing is I can do this for people who are not Truck Drivers or Fire Fighters. Girl Scouts, Boy Scouts, Citizen Tax payers about Public Safety Education.   I love public speaking,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Mmindy
      Congratulations to the mom and family @Ivy on the addition of another child.   Hugs,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • MaeBe
      Congrats to you and yours!
    • Ashley0616
      YAY! Congratulations on a granddaughter!
    • Ashley0616
      I recommend CarComplaints.com | Car Problems, Car Complaints, & Repair/Recall Information. A lot of good information
    • LucyF
      I've got Spironolactone ___mg and Evorel ___mcg Patches (2 a week) going up to ___mg after 4 weeks 
    • Ivy
      Got a new Granddaughter this morning.  Mother and child (and father) are doing fine. This makes 7 granddaughters and one grandson.  I have 2 sons and 6 daughters myself.  And then I  switched teams.  I think this stuff runs in the family. Another hard day for the patriarchy.
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...