What tipped you off on being trans?

[Lily197]

For me, from a young age maybe 5 I always liked the look of skirts and dresses and shoes and wished I could wear them all. A year or 2 later I "borrowed" my sisters clothes and wore then in my room when no-one was around. It took me a while to realise my personality changed between a boys and girls. I still don't know what the triggers to change between is but I feel it. I have recently started HRT and I think I'm still on a long road of self discovery.

[SaraB]

Can definitely side with you on that, Lily. I had a good home and friend life as a kid and teen but still felt 'wierd' being male. As I got older and away it got stronger, in spite of being married(which was only temporary break). Looking back whenever we would play things as a kid I would go right to girl mode, which for the most part was ok in imaginative friends.

[Lily197]

3 minutes ago, SaraB said:

Can definitely side with you on that, Lily. I had a good home and friend life as a kid and teen but still felt 'wierd' being male. As I got older and away it got stronger, in spite of being married(which was only temporary break). Looking back whenever we would play things as a kid I would go right to girl mode, which for the most part was ok in imaginative friends.

Hay Sara, my home life as a child was good I will always remember when my mum caught in the living room in my sisters dress and my mum just laughed at me. I always felt wierd and different from the boys. Most of my friends at school where girls. 

[SaraB]

most of my friends were boys, but my older sister was cool. My best friend for a long time was a girl, only a month different in age. When she got to about 15 she decided one day that I was a boy and she was a girl and we shouldnt be hanging out like that anymore. I was like... hey, not really?

[Lily197]

7 minutes ago, SaraB said:

most of my friends were boys, but my older sister was cool. My best friend for a long time was a girl, only a month different in age. When she got to about 15 she decided one day that I was a boy and she was a girl and we shouldnt be hanging out like that anymore. I was like... hey, not really?

O thats a shame. Do you speak to her anymore now your older. I don't speak to really anyone from my school days I think all just moved on. They never really got to meet lily just the male me.

[Jackie C.]

13 hours ago, Drake said:

Lol most women want to be women I suppose. I was always dying to be something else, literally anything else. I'd rather be an orange O__o

 

That actually relates to something I heard recently that absolutely blew my mind: Cis-people also experience gender euphoria, they just had it from birth and don't think about it.

 

Can you even imagine? Feeling gender euphoria from CRADLE to GRAVE?

 

Hugs!

[Samuel William]

On 3/29/2022 at 11:21 PM, Jackie C. said:

 

That actually relates to something I heard recently that absolutely blew my mind: Cis-people also experience gender euphoria, they just had it from birth and don't think about it.

 

Can you even imagine? Feeling gender euphoria from CRADLE to GRAVE?

 

Hugs!

Wow....when you look at it like that....definitely mind blowing! I've only experienced gender euphoria in tiny flashes at this point - moments when something I wore or did felt excruciatingly right for once - so it's hard for me to even imagine what it feels like to walk through the world every day actually feeling at home in your own skin. 

 

(And yes, @Drake, I understand the feeling of wanting to be literally anything else other than female. In my case, I spend most of my childhood pretending to be [male, naturally] animals). 

[Penny Patton]

For as long as I can remember there has not been a single day where I have not wished I'd been born a girl. I'm not sure exactly when I realized I was trans. Probably in my thirties, but due to lack of insurance, lack of money, family, and my poor mental health it just never seemed achievable to me until recently. And when I realized it was achievable it just clicked that I had to do it. That was this past November or December.

[SaraB]

On 3/28/2022 at 8:42 PM, Lily197 said:

O thats a shame. Do you speak to her anymore now your older. I don't speak to really anyone from my school days I think all just moved on.

She is still a facebook friend and I have pen palled a couple conversations but we knew eachother when our parents were in the same company on Guam. Now I am in PA and she is in KS and married. Part of me wonders what would happen if I told her. Heck, maybe she would finally know why I wasn't into dating.

[Lily197]

That's the thing about life people move on, you can be close to someone and then suddenly you hardly know the person anymore 

[neo3000]

VIDEO GAMES! I always had a male persona. I'd play games like Guilty Gear or Yakuza Zero and just project myself on every man there. Tho I knew for sure when I got with my girlfriend and realized I wanted to kiss her as a boy and not as a girl. She was the stamp to my paperwork ahah. 

[Sol]

I think I always felt... off? It wasn't really apparent when I was younger, and then puberty happened and it all went down the gutter. Bras, periods, "Don't sit with your legs spread," yadda yadda yadda. I hated normal bras and refused to take sports bras off except to shower or change them. I never liked being a girl, and I always hated something about how I looked no matter how many people told me otherwise. And in pictures where I was dressed up, especially when I was in high school, I know I was never happy in them. They were nice dresses, but not nice on me. Something about them was off.

And then an artist I follow on Twitter posted a picture of himself, and he was trans. I was definitely happy, both for him and for myself because someone was like me (another hint), and then it was like it all burst open.

"I want that." 

That was the thought. I knew I wanted what he had and to look like that, because something about the image felt so right I started crying. I know I'm a guy, and it just sounds so right. It's a really nice feeling.

[Pratana]

First of all, this topic is so intimate for me right now, because as one who is just now beginning their journey into womanhood, I resonate so strongly to each of your back-stories.

 

I started talking about this in another post, but it's like my whole world was reacting to me (negatively) as though it was obvious to everyone else but me. Being raised in a religious and conservative household, however, dampened that question for me until around my senior year of high school. I was way more concerned about whether or not I was going to hell or when would be the next time I was going to either have my ass outright handed to me or be verbally abused until I was a crying mess in the halls at school. Even as a kid, I would sneak into my parents' room and snuggle with my mom's silk-ish clothes, be it a robe, underwear, etc, until I was caught and those clothing items would never again be within reach.

 

In my early 20's, I discovered the goth scene and was a practicing pagan since two weeks after I moved out of my parents' house. I quickly grasped my blatant androgyny (I was like a cyber-punk witch; lace and technology covering my whole body) and put it to work until I was 27, when I felt I had crossed over too far into being too male-bodied. There's been a constant grief since.

 

I joined an intentional community 5 years ago, and everyone around me either was also Non-Binary like me at the time, or Transgender. It was heavenly then, but I had still felt too lost in myself to surrender to that most intimate portion of my being. I'm still at the community now; though it has decreased dramatically in size and diversity, there is still one other trans person here.

 

It was the idea that I would personally feel less and less pretty as I aged within a male body, and being pretty has been my twinkling star of euphoria. I still look like I'm in my 30's, but my hair is becoming more silver by the day. So I decided to embrace that shadowy angel who always lurked nearby.

 

I had to be surrendered to before I could be held. I look forward to aging as a woman.

[Spencer Phoenix]

Looking back, there were definitely quite a few things that should have tipped me off, but didn't. For example, when I hit puberty & had to go bra shopping for the first time, I lost my mind & started crying the whole time. Another thing was when I saw the movie "She's the Man", which is basically about a girl dressing as her brother to play on the boys soccer team, and my main takeaway was "Man, I wish that I could dress as a boy & be treated as one!". Oh how naïve I was...

[Sol]

I had the realization in my junior year of high school that I hated myself. How I looked, how I felt, I just hated it. And the experience of having myself referred to as son, even in a joking manner, was something that made me giddy. And I guess it was the experience that I never felt comfortable in my own skin, and actually tried to find out why. Didn't really seriously explore the fact that I was trans until early last fall. 

Fast forward about eight months, and here we are!

[Pratana]

On 5/7/2022 at 7:25 PM, Sol said:

I had the realization in my junior year of high school that I hated myself. How I looked, how I felt, I just hated it. And the experience of having myself referred to as son, even in a joking manner, was something that made me giddy. And I guess it was the experience that I never felt comfortable in my own skin, and actually tried to find out why. Didn't really seriously explore the fact that I was trans until early last fall. 

Fast forward about eight months, and here we are!

Love this!