Is there anything or anyone standing in your way of reaching your goals?

[Heather Shay]

For me I am working on the slow grieving and acceptance by my spouse and I'm willing to wait until she is totally on board or as on board as she can be and that will take time. So time now stands in my way. How about you?

[April-Showers]

nope. nothing can stop this girl. thank you.

[Charlize]

Over time the barriers were lifted and this gal stepped out to enjoy life!  Patience, kindness, tolerance and love towards others and towards myself helped me find this life beyond what was once a recurring dream.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[Davie]

@Charlize

Way to go, Charlize. Inspiring to hear that.

(My pronouns are: he/him when I’m awake—but they are she/her in my dreams.)

—Davie

[Maddee]

There have been barriers in my way of everything.

 

It's becoming possible that they have been internal.

[Jackie C.]

Used to be myself. Now that I'm over that, no, nobody.

 

I mean, why would they? I'm delightful!

 

Hugs!

[KymmieL]

Mine would have to be my wife and my oldest son. While my wife seems to be starting to accept me more and more. My son, well no

 

Kymmie

[MirandaB]

My wife seems to still be in mourning too, a year in. And with steps backward, not forward. I'm happier now because she's gone back to being mildly pleasant to me, as opposed to cold. We peaked with hugging, cuddling, etc, that seemed to stop without warning. 

 

But otherwise everyone else seems OK with it.

[Janae]

6 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

Used to be myself. Now that I'm over that, no, nobody.

 

I mean, why would they? I'm delightful!

 

Hugs!

Yep. I would agree.  I think once we can overcome whatever fears OURSELVES have, we can realize any goal we set.  That might be easier said than done, but over time we can get those rascals back in the box- and then throw away the key so those fears don’t come back.

 

Janae

[miz miranda]

Without a doubt me. I have always struggled with accepting myself and am very self critical. I also struggle with seeking and accepting help. I was system engineer focusing much of my career analyzing problems and creating solutions. When it comes to myself it often results in paralysis / analysis.

 

 

[Niamh]

I have realised through this transition of mine that the only person that can stand in the way of my goals is myself. Because unless you are physically imprisoned or subject to draconian laws (which in some parts of the world may be the case), the only person who actually determines what I decide to do is me. 

 

Absolutely there are others who have a heavy influence on my decision making such as my wife who accepts Niamh but is reluctant to support her, but whatever destiny I intend is for me to decide. And that is where the challenge is. Unlike others here I never suffered dysphoria about my male body before I decided to spend time as Niamh. I am still uncertain how much of me needs to be Niamh as I'm OK with Neil too. But being Niamh feels so right and my world has expanded so much since deciding to be Niamh for a large part of my time. But I'm not an uncaring person and I know that my wife never signed up to spending any of her life with another woman so I have to weigh up the damage I may cause if I decide I want to spend more time as Niamh than my wife can tolerate. But that is MY decision and only I stand in the way of making it.

[Heather Shay]

@Niamh the consideration of your spouse is a big part. I don't wish to lose my wife and I told her I know she didn't sign up to have to deal with my condition but then again neither you nor I signed up for it either. I reminded my wife that she has a son with Asberger's Syndrome and he didn't ask for that so please consider that I would ask anyone to deal with the issue if I didn't have to and I really have no choice - spending my whole life avoiding it has caused depression, anxiety, panic attacks and anorexia and a lifetime of internal sadness. She saved my life at a low point and I'm hoping she can stay the course.

Bottom line however, as you so rightly state, you still need to make the decisions yourself and you can't love another if you don't love yourself first, can't give what you don't have. And whatever feels right for you is what you must do to be whole.

[Niamh]

1 hour ago, Shay said:

@Niamh the consideration of your spouse is a big part. I don't wish to lose my wife and I told her I know she didn't sign up to have to deal with my condition but then again neither you nor I signed up for it either. I reminded my wife that she has a son with Asberger's Syndrome and he didn't ask for that so please consider that I would ask anyone to deal with the issue if I didn't have to and I really have no choice - spending my whole life avoiding it has caused depression, anxiety, panic attacks and anorexia and a lifetime of internal sadness. She saved my life at a low point and I'm hoping she can stay the course.

Bottom line however, as you so rightly state, you still need to make the decisions yourself and you can't love another if you don't love yourself first, can't give what you don't have. And whatever feels right for you is what you must do to be whole.

Strangely enough my son has Asperger's Syndrome. He happens to be married to a Trans Man who came out a trans a week after I came out to my wife. A bit of a double blow for my wife. Not surprisingly I have an excellent relationship with my son and his (now) husband.