Surgery options

[BS1983]

So due to life issues I'm unable to transition right now.  I go through life as a fake "alpha male".  I inject ------ of Testosterone a week, lift weights, and train MMA.  In 7 years my youngest kid will graduate high-school.   My plan is to keep living that lie and wearing panties and tucking until then.  When he graduates, I want to sell a few valuable things I have and go to Thailand.  Can I get multiple surgeries at one time without being on estrogen first?  When I announce my plans to my wife, my marriage will certainly end. I really don't want to have valuables tied up and lost during the divorce. I have a couple of Rolex's and a ------- gun I plan to sell to fund the trip, bottom surgery, breast augmentation, and plastic surgery to fix my ears and remove some facial scars. I'll come home and get my doc to swap me from test to estrogen and start living my life the person I want to be. 

Edited July 26, 2021 by Carolyn Marie
Dosages removed, as well as mention of a particular type of weapon.

[Ivy]

Hi, and welcome.

 

You sound kinda confused to me.  

 

I don't know your situation of course, but it seems odd that you would be willing to use supplemental T for 7 more years and then get multiple surgeries without even trying MtF HRT first.

 

I understand the fake "alpha male" thing.  A lot of us have done this to hide from ourselves and others - myself included.  It might be to your advantage to talk to a gender counselor, perhaps discreetly, if you can find one.  

 

Perhaps someone else here has more insight than me.  

[Lexi C]

Hey .

I totally agree Jandi.

I was never married but i being where you in that Macho state.

It sucks.

Find a Gender Therapist. They don't have to be near you, but you need to talk it out.

As for the Thailand trip. You will need to be current with all your papers medical and personal before hand..DO NOT FIND SOME ONE VIA some INTERNET  add. Do you research. You sound like you will have plentily of time for that.

However, that said. a Lie can only live for so long before it becomes to much bear. Your wife will find out one way or other. Trust me on that!!

Best to find that GT, talk to yr fam and take it for there.

Good move on selling or possibility hiding your valuables if there yours.

Best off luck.

Alex Lexi C

 

[BS1983]

5 hours ago, Jandi said:

Hi, and welcome.

 

You sound kinda confused to me.  

 

I don't know your situation of course, but it seems odd that you would be willing to use supplemental T for 7 more years and then get multiple surgeries without even trying MtF HRT first.

 

I understand the fake "alpha male" thing.  A lot of us have done this to hide from ourselves and others - myself included.  It might be to your advantage to talk to a gender counselor, perhaps discreetly, if you can find one.  

 

Perhaps someone else here has more insight than me.  

I've been on TRT for a few years now because my T levels were low and I felt like garbage. As much as Id like to start transition right now, I don't want to do it while my son is still in school. A it would destroy our "Normal" homelife and B. Moving is not an option and I live in a Backwards, Bible belt, closed minded, conservative area.  As wrong as it is, my son would have to go through middle and high-school with a stigma because of my choices. I honestly don't care what people think of me, but it would be unfair to him. 

[Carolyn Marie]

2 hours ago, BS1983 said:

 As wrong as it is, my son would have to go through middle and high-school with a stigma because of my choices. I honestly don't care what people think of me, but it would be unfair to him. 

 

I understand.  I waited until my son's senior year of HS before telling him.  It worked out fine, and he was mature enough to accept it readily.

 

Carolyn Marie

[Heather Shay]

@BS1983 discussing with counsellor and/or therapist would be a great help. Some will do zoom but in person better. Psychology today and elsewhere in this forum you will find sources.

Although I don't know Thailand rules with WPATH requirements following those guidelines much safer physically.

Have you decided on your own about your marriage or are you assuming your wife won't be supportive.

I understand your wish to protect your children and I also understand living in ultra conservative area but things can change in 7 years and seeking therapy can do amazing things and contacting LGBTQ health friendly services can also benefit you in so many ways.

[Ivy]

10 hours ago, BS1983 said:

I live in a Backwards, Bible belt, closed minded, conservative area.  As wrong as it is, my son would have to go through middle and high-school with a stigma because of my choices.

I can understand this, living in a pretty conservative area myself.

My kids were grown by the time my egg cracked, so that wasn't an issue for me.

A lot are dealing with similar issues.  You will find plenty of support here.

[BS1983]

11 hours ago, Shay said:

@BS1983 discussing with counsellor and/or therapist would be a great help. Some will do zoom but in person better. Psychology today and elsewhere in this forum you will find sources.

Although I don't know Thailand rules with WPATH requirements following those guidelines much safer physically.

Have you decided on your own about your marriage or are you assuming your wife won't be supportive.

I understand your wish to protect your children and I also understand living in ultra conservative area but things can change in 7 years and seeking therapy can do amazing things and contacting LGBTQ health friendly services can also benefit you in so many ways.

I know my wife well enough to know she won't be supportive of that in any way. She likely will be vindictive and try to make the divorce as painful as possible for me financially. That's why I'd like to basically just do as much of it as possible at one time. I likely will be financially hurting after divorce and won't be able to afford the surgery.  This is going to sound cruel and  horrible, and it is, but I've been telling my wife for years Id like to take an extended vacation in Thailand to train Muay thai. I would be very tempted to go there under that guise and have the procedure done without her prior knowledge

[Bri2020]

Everything everyone here said, but getting to the direct question the answer is no.

Even in Thailand, the reputable surgeons follow WPATH guidelines which means for bottom surgery you must be on HRT for a year and living in your target gender for a year as well. Most won't work with you without you having letters from mental health providers stating you are mentally ready for this and it's indicated.   Getting breast augmentation before growing any natural breast tissue is just a disaster waiting to happen.  I know you want to just get it done but it is ill advised to do permanent changes to your body without exploring what your life will look like.  Socially transitioning and HRT gives you time to figure things out before doing something you can't reverse.  You need to have a support system in place, know how you are going to live etc etc.  Let's say you head off to thailand, get "made into a woman" and come back and lose all your family and friends, your job and your house because you sprung this on your whole world? What then?  

If you are worried about losing your assets, there are ways to protect those.  Working with a therapist can help you come up with a game plan before you start to transition.  You've been playing the role of an alpha male for a while. You just can't flip a switch one day and think it will all be different. There's a learning curve and adjustment period for you AND everyone else in your life. 

 

[Lexi C]

you   know what you rock. I totally get where yr coming from. You kinda have a great plan just  be conscious of your  of what your seeking 

[Heather Shay]

I'm glad @Bri2020 explained the medical realities so well and it's good to know Thailand uses WPATH. When I came out over a year ago I wanted it all right now and that is just not wise in any sense. I have grown over the past year and realize WHY you can't have it all right away. That only happens in TG fictional stories.

Having and taking the time to do it right will give you safe and honest way toward your goals. As they say Rome wasn't built in a day and like a wonderful person here told me....don't drive faster than your angel can fly.

Please find therapist to guide you through the mind fields of family and more important internally. It will be worth the effort.