do you ever feel uncomfortable when you see ftm people transitioning?

[ClarkDiesInside]

I'm an afab person and I despise my boobs; I planned to get top surgery much before I even began to question my gender. Although I don't care about my bottom as much, my brain always goes "ow" when I hear about a transwoman getting bottom surgery as well as getting top surgery or feminizing her voice. Maybe it's jealousy, I feel the same way I feel when I watch a billionaire burn a giant bag of money. I feel the same way when I see cis women getting their boobs enlarged, honestly.

 

But I know that transwomen despise being amab just as much as I detest being afab, probably more, since you guys get more -crap- than we do, with the bathrooms and the sports and such. Plus, closeted transmen are able to wear masculine clothing and be given miniscule hassle, however, closeted trans women are usually ridiculed for donning more feminine garments.

 

I do feel like a prick when I cringe at stories of transwomen doing the inverse of exactly what I want to do, I wish I didn't think this way. I never expressed it because that would be rude, but I can't really control how I feel.

 

I would be super relieved if I knew you guys felt this way about me when I bind my chest or do other afab things like that.

[MirandaB]

I do encounter some trans men on a PFLAG zoom meeting every month or so. I must admit feel a pang of jealousy of how it seems to be a slightly easier path, since, as you write, ftm doesn't seem to get the organized hatred that is directed towards mtf.  

 

But when they express joy at progress or frustration at lack of progress I do feel like at least I can see where they're coming from and relate to those emotions, and at least feel a little more kinship with the folks on the zoom than I do out amongst the cis people. There is some overlap in terms of how it plays out even though we're going in opposite directions. 

 

And of course, every couple months we joke about how we wish we could make some trades of our body parts/characteristics/hormones/whatever. 

 

[Jackie C.]

4 hours ago, ClarkDiesInside said:

I'm an afab person and I despise my boobs; I planned to get top surgery much before I even began to question my gender. Although I don't care about my bottom as much, my brain always goes "ow" when I hear about a transwoman getting bottom surgery as well as getting top surgery or feminizing her voice. Maybe it's jealousy, I feel the same way I feel when I watch a billionaire burn a giant bag of money. I feel the same way when I see cis women getting their boobs enlarged, honestly.

 

Little bit. My brain goes, "But WHY?!?" Then I tell it to shut up and support them. We're all in this together, right?

 

Hugs!

[Jamie68]

2 hours ago, RhondaS said:

I do encounter some trans men on a PFLAG zoom meeting every month or so. I must admit feel a pang of jealousy of how it seems to be a slightly easier path, since, as you write, ftm doesn't seem to get the organized hatred that is directed towards mtf.  

 

But when they express joy at progress or frustration at lack of progress I do feel like at least I can see where they're coming from and relate to those emotions, and at least feel a little more kinship with the folks on the zoom than I do out amongst the cis people. There is some overlap in terms of how it plays out even though we're going in opposite directions. 

 

And of course, every couple months we joke about how we wish we could make some trades of our body parts/characteristics/hormones/whatever. 

 

From what i've read transmen get the short end of the stick so to speak when it comes to bottom surgery. With all the advances in surgery you would think they could swap parts between men and women. I have a transman nephew. I would have swapped parts in a heartbeat.

 

My brain goes tilt a little when I see anyone who doesn't look their gender. Especially when I look in the mirror.

[ValerieRun]

@ClarkDiesInside I think it’s perfectly natural to question and wonder when you see someone striving for the things you are so hard trying to get rid of. And there is no harm in the exercise if leads you to think more on the differences and accepting that everybody has their own goals and should be accepted instead of ridiculed. 
So don’t worry, I am positive everyone gets this thought (myself included) although cannot guarantee for the entire world ?

 

[Charlize]

I know many trans men and as we have gone through surgeries over there years there has always been a bit of talking about "trading pieces".  We laugh but understand and accept our journeys.  Trans folks can understand each other as cis folks cannot.  Society certainly seems more accepting of presenting masculine.  Women spent years to achieve that in this male orientated society.  It would have been harder for me to live as myself if i had to be a humble female, living totally in the classic homemaker role.  

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize 

[KathyLauren]

I know quite a few trans men both online and in real life through the local support group.  While I cannot feel their experience, I can understand it intellectually, that is is just the inverse of my own experience.  So, no, it does not make me uncomfortable in any way.  I am happy for them in their transition.  And I do joke with them about trading parts.

 

[ClarkDiesInside]

11 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

Little bit. My brain goes, "But WHY?!?" Then I tell it to shut up and support them. We're all in this together, right?

 

yeah, my thoughts exactly

[Nora]

I'm autistic. Everyone makes me feel uncomfortable LOL.

The level of confusion and discomfort doesn't change in regards to seeing a FTM person going through transition, because chances are, I wouldn't even be able to tell; I just see another random person I want to avoid, so that I don't end up embarrassing myself by saying or doing something socially awkward or flat out inappropriate lol. (I'm kinda brutally honest to a fault. Like, if a woman asks if I like her necklace and I don't, I tell her that lol. Oh, and apparently when a girl asks you to rate her on a scale from one to ten...six is the wrong answer. LOL XD
 

[Kelly2509]

every time one of my afab friends talk about their top surgeries I die a little inside and usually make the cliche joke about "can I has your stuff?"

[Andrea Jean]

Kind of think wish we could switch parts......and help each other ..

[Dartti Dare]

Only in jest. I laugh and say to myself,  "you're running to the thing I'm running away from", then feel support them.

[VickySGV]

Considering the number of Trans Men I know, and the length of time I have been out as myself, they are just part of my normal landscape at all stages.  So, no discomfort unless I am listening to one needlessly mouthing like a cis-gender gutter snipe.  It has taken me some time, but my test is, will they help out when the group needs the help and will they show compassion to those weaker and less sure of themselves. 

[MiraM]

I find nothing uncomfortable about Trans Men at all.  I was (technically still am) married to a Trans Man.  Sometimes to mess with people's mind, I tell them that my second wife was my first husband, and watch the confusion.