I just. don't know who I am

[Ripley-99]

Hello!

This is my first post? 
So, the title says it all. I don’t know who I am ? I’m AMAB, but as far back as I can remember, I have felt , wrong. Since I was about a teenager I have yearned to be femme. I have, a lot of gender Dysphoria, An I still absolutely yearn to be femme.

Idk what I’m trying to say here, I just , how did you know?

In talking with some close freinds, they keep suggesting Non-Binary Transfemme, but that also feels off in a way. 
maybe I just needed to rant a little, just, any advice you can give at all, that would be amazing I guess 

Im still just figuring everything out

[VickySGV]

Welcome to the Forums. There was a point in time when none of the rest of us knew what or where our feelings were going to lead us into.  It takes time and small daily steps.  To make bigger steps, the help of a Therapist who is skilled in gender issues is to be desired.  Some people will attempt to limit how far we go, but unless they are one of us who has been there, the people setting YOUR LIMITS are doing it for THEMSELVES and not you.  I won't say another Non-trans person cannot be compassionate toward us, but their compassion in those cases is limited to how they see the world and not how you see it. Take part in our life here and it can help you find your real life

[Carolyn Marie]

Welcome to Trans Pulse, Ripley.  So, you say you have a lot of dysphoria, which means that at some level, you don't feel comfortable in the "skin" that you're in, and know or believe that you belong in the "skin" of a female person.  Your body and your perceived gender don't align.  In that case, you do know, just as I knew from an early age that I should have been female-bodied, and longed to be in that "skin."

 

What matters next is what to do, if anything, about that feeling or belief.  As @VickySGVsaid, a gender therapist is a good start.  Reading and participating in these forums is also a good start, and taking stock of your circumstances, how you feel about risk, how you feel about upending parts of your life to achieve your goals, is also very important.

 

We can help with some of that.  Look around, ask questions, see what others have or are going through, and you'll soon figure it out.  I look forward to watching you do so, and I'm here to help.  We all are.

 

HUGS

 

Carolyn Marie

[KathyLauren]

Hi, Ripley.  Welcome!

 

13 hours ago, Ripley-99 said:

I’m AMAB, but as far back as I can remember, I have felt , wrong.

 

I still absolutely yearn to be femme.

 

they keep suggesting Non-Binary Transfemme, but that also feels off in a way.

 

 

So, you aren't male.  It sounds like you aren't non-binary femme.  It does sound like you are trans-female, just based on what you told us. 

 

But we are amateurs.  I agree with Vicky and Carolyn Marie that you should talk to a gender therapist to help you sort it out.  Realizing that one might be trans is confusing as heck, made more so when a big dose of fear is usually mixed in with it.  Talking to a therapist will help you understand who you are and what you want to do about it.

 

Regards,

Kathy

 

[Charlize]

Welcome Ripley.  I remember feeling much as y ou describe.  Unfortunately that was long enough ago that there was little or no discussion or understanding of gender issues.  We are fortunate that today we can see others who openly share their journeys.  That was a great help to me as i searched for my own path.  As mentioned by others therapy was suggested and today i've actually found comfort in being me.  

Glad you've joined us here.  

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[Susan R]

On 10/14/2021 at 3:28 PM, Ripley-99 said:

Since I was about a teenager I have yearned to be femme. I have, a lot of gender Dysphoria, An I still absolutely yearn to be femme.

Welcome @Ripley-99. Thank you for joining us. I was the same. You are obviously not alone in this yearning. As a teen, I wondered why I felt this way. Now flash forward a few decades and the answer seems all too obvious now. But everyone has to find this out their own way. As others have stated, a good counselor or therapist can also be of great help you learn YOUR truth. This forum can be a great place to begin to find support though. If you can make use of the information available on here, you’ll likely benefit greatly from it. I know I have.

 

If you have any concerns or need advice, just ask us. We are here to help in any way we can.

 

Warmest Regards,

Susan R?

[Delcina B]

Welcome Ripley! I so identify with the yearning to be femme early in life, but not understanding how & even hating myself for the feelings I perceived through society's lens as vile. I reached a point of having to & being able to clearly look at me & thankfully finding this forum of people who relate, understand, love & accept me as I am, I began to accept me too. A book You & Your Gender Identity by Dara Hoffman Fox & working with a gender therapist have been helpful also. So many emotions & feelings on this journey exploring my femme; I am glad I am on it. I hope you will too! 

 

Hugs!

Delcina

[Confused1]

Hi and welcome Ripley! Not much I can offer that hasn't been said by others already. I agree with seeing a gender therapist if you are able to. There is a lot of information and good people on this forum to help support you.

 

I am AMAB as well. I have come a long ways in the two years since I came out to myself, but my spot on the gender line still somewhat eludes me. You can see what I chose for a profile name when I was where you are now.

 

Hugs,

Mike

[Guest]

You're certainly not alone on this issue! Hello Ripley! I'm in the same boat. I'm using a workbook that another forum member recommended to me. "You and your gender identity" by Dara Hoffman-Fox. I honestly didn't realize how depressed I've been over this issue until I had to put together a third person description of myself. You should try it. 

 

Jamie