Should I stay or should I go?

[CD Rachel]

 

I found out that this weekend is Fall Crossdresser Weekend up at Rainbow Mountain Resort. It is about a half hour from my house! I want to go. I want to be seen and accepted for who I am and not just remain closeted in my house. But just the thought is making my knees week. 

 

I hope I can find the courage to go. But i am afraid of being confronted..... maybe i just close my eyes and take a leap of faith.

 

Rachel

 

 

[KathyLauren]

Do it!

 

Confronting this fear is one of the biggest obstacles that we face.  The only way past the fear is to face it.  An event like this is one of the best places to do so, because you are among like-minded people.  You are less likely to be confronted there than elsewhere, and you will have others there to support you if you are.

 

Keeping my fingers crossed that you have a good time.

[VickySGV]

This will  be a SAFE HAVEN with helpful people all around you.  If you can do it, GO.  It is pretty scary coming out of your hotel room the first time, but the event organizers usually have some Big Sisters patrolling the hall ways who will help you without making life miserable.  I have had that job at other conferences and it is the most fun thing for me.

[CD Rachel]

 

I am all dressed up, nails painted, horrible make up but I am heading out the door. Wish I had something right now to calm my nerves. I can always get a drink at the bar i guess. Thank you for the encouragement. I do not know what the night holds for me but dam it I plan to find out!

 

Rachel

[Aggie1]

1 hour ago, CD Rachel said:

I do not know what the night holds for me but dam it I plan to find out!

 

That’s the spirit!! I can’t wait to hear the report tomorrow! 
 

That “damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead” attitude is how you win wars!!

[Susan R]

8 hours ago, CD Rachel said:

I hope I can find the courage to go.

I am so happy that you decided to go. Getting out the door is half the battle. I am sure you’ll enjoy yourself and meet some wonderful new friends!

[Davie]

i had the same question and fears today. I went out with strangers. I stuck my hand out and twenty people said, Hi Davie, welcome! Only my fears were unwelcome.

--Davie

[Aggie1]

1 hour ago, Davie said:

Only my fears were unwelcome.

--Davie

Great message! Courage is being afraid and doing it anyway.

[CD Rachel]

 

Well that was disappointing. I got to the resort and sked where is the party? I was told that my problem is not where but when. Come back at 9 o'clock and the party will be here.

 

Well, I will go back at 9, at this point I have already overcome 90% of the fears and anxiety so I may as well go and enjoy myself the rest of the night.

 

I will check back in in the morning.

 

Thanks everyone for the support! It really means a lot to me.

 

Rachel

[Sometimes Chrissie]

Caveat: I'm in extreme male mode:

 

If you think about it, females can cross dress anytime. Jeans, a flannel shirt and work boots and a chick is dressing like a dude and nobody cares. A few months on testosterone, a mastectomy (for cancer preventative measures) oophorectomy  (for cancer prevention) and presto chango the chick is a dude. 

 

Double standard much? 

 

Society claims that it wants men to be more sensitive and explore their female side. That's a joke. Feminine males face all sorts of ridicule from both males and females. 

 

Enjoy your event.

[CD Rachel]

I am enjoying the event! 

 

 

[Aggie1]

2 hours ago, CD Rachel said:

 

I am enjoying the event! 

 

You look happy! That’s the important thing.

[CD Rachel]

 

Well it was a very enjoyable night. When i arrived at 9 PM the bar was empty with no other Crossdressers in sight. I ordered a drink and sat back watching the door. After about a half hour I was losing my nerve and just about to bolt when two crossdressers walked into the room. They basically swept me up and invited me to join them at their table. They were both very nice people and we chatted a lot as the group slowly increased in size. I did dance a bit (Rachel dances... Who knew?) and had a great time. There was on crossdresser there dressed in white who I must admit I was particularly enamored with. I felt like a teenage boy around her but alas she had no interest in me. But I was surprised at my attraction to another crossdresser.... just something to think about I guess.

 

Well, slightly hung over but happy.

 

Thanks again for the encouragement and support. I think that Rachel is finding her wings!

 

Rachel

 

[KathyLauren]

Yay!  Congratulations, Rachel!  Getting out there and being yourself in public is one of the biggest challenges, and you did it.  I am glad you had a good time.

[Davie]

Yes, thanks, Rachel. Inspiration--we all need it. Also, showing up.

hugs,

Davie

 

[Becoming Diana]

I enjoyed reading this.  Rachel, I'm glad you found the courage to go and had a good time.