frustrated as all get out

[nobodyspecial1973]

 not sure where to start on all this mess. but i am getting very frustrated and discouraged and not sure what to do . a friend well.. ex friend and i had a falling out and she said some very hurtful things about me not presenting as female etc. now i am questioning myself if i should just say forget it and quit while i'm ahead . or should i just push on i dunno what to do at this point i am almost in tears over all this . sorry for venting .. beg my pard 

[VickySGV]

Frustration is only one of the feelings you will have during a transition.  There are good feelings to be had and some really great feelings that will come with time.  No need for you to apologize to us about feeling as you do.  We have all been there.  We have put in some time taking small steps and learning to be the real person we really are.

[Kylie]

This seems to be an all to common issue for people in the midst of transitioning. People that have mixed feelings or do not agree with people living as their true self will often times project those feelings. You need to sit back and think oof what makes YOU complete and happy. Hurt is going to happen throughout your transition, learning ways to deal with it is key. I myself, as many others do use that hurt as the fuel to the fire. Remember,  you're a fire work, let your color of true self shine!

 

Kylie

[Charlize]

Over time i backed up many times either because of someones reaction or because of the fear of how someone would react.  I caused myself harm and now believe i harmed others by not being open and honest.  

Sorry you are feeling that pain.  It is certainly part of being a bit different from the norm.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[Vidanjali]

16 hours ago, Kylie said:

People that have mixed feelings or do not agree with people living as their true self will often times project those feelings.

 

This is quite true. It's the principle of the path of least resistance. Many (most?) people do not practice regular self-reflection and therefore are not skilled at analyzing their potential emotional reactions. The person's thoughts and feelings tangle and seem to validate each other. Then, the person does not hesitate to react by lashing out because they believe they are justified. "I feel uncomfortable. You're standing there challenging my reality. Therefore, you are the cause of my bad feelings. You are wrong and I am right." It's very typical human behavior. But, it hurts when you're subject to it. Try your best to not take it personally. Even though it seems totally personal, it's really about her and not about you. 

[Charlize]

Thank you for that statement Vidanjali.  I will add to that i try to remember that i cannot change someones else's behavior but i can work to change my own reaction and behavior.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[nobodyspecial1973]

On 11/16/2021 at 6:31 PM, nobodyspecial1973 said:

 not sure where to start on all this mess. but i am getting very frustrated and discouraged and not sure what to do . a friend well.. ex friend and i had a falling out and she said some very hurtful things about me not presenting as female etc. now i am questioning myself if i should just say forget it and quit while i'm ahead . or should i just push on i dunno what to do at this point i am almost in tears over all this . sorry for venting .. beg my pard 

 

[nobodyspecial1973]

after much thought and alot of crying i have decided that i will push on with it . i want to be happy i have been miserable for way too long . and thanks for the wors of encouragement and letting me vent my frustrations . 

[Trista1]

everyone is entitled to their opinions (even if they are wrong). Never let someone else deter what you from what you want or need.  

[Kylie]

I agree with @Trista1. Take a stand for what you believe in and who you are always. Remember, stand for nothing and you fall for anything…

[Jamey-Heather]

On 11/16/2021 at 4:31 PM, nobodyspecial1973 said:

 not sure where to start on all this mess. but i am getting very frustrated and discouraged and not sure what to do . a friend well.. ex friend and i had a falling out and she said some very hurtful things about me not presenting as female etc. now i am questioning myself if i should just say forget it and quit while i'm ahead . or should i just push on i dunno what to do at this point i am almost in tears over all this . sorry for venting .. beg my pard 

I usually wear jeans and t-shirts (and I still have facial hair, because I'm a god damned bearded lady, fuckers!) and when anyone accuses me of "not dressing female", I ask why we trans women have to dress like a 1950's housewife when most cis-gendered ladies wear pants an t-shorts!