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Kendrasmith1995

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I know everyone thinks like some really horrible trans porn addicted loser but please let me explain myself I use to mock this sort of lifestyle

it doesn't matter if I'm not the gayest person ever I do feel bad for the way I have treated others about this in the past I'm not really like an admirer I'm a sympathizer what happened to me was I lost most of my desire to have sex

I'm afraid of being touched by another

and I have basically lost the ability to maintain an erection as embarrassing as it is to admit that

because of some extreme trauma I have had to endure this year my issues may not be totally related to my sexuality but I feel the pain associated with the pain the transgenders feel I am not going to bother anyone here or try to have sex with anyone believe me that's the last thing on my mind right now we're all suffering enough already I just wanted to join a group where others might accept me since no one else does I think what anyone here is going through is similar to the emotional pain I feel I don't understand why people have to feel like they hate each other for doing something different than they do I'm very depressed about how much hate is in the world right now 

I promise not to be a bother it's just such a painful time to me right now I believe everyone is equal I love animals I attached a picture of my favorite kitty tangerine and a pic of myself as well I hope I can be learned to be trusted here

 

 

 

 

 

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  • Admin

Hello, Kendra, and welcome to Trans Pulse.  Please believe that no one here is going to prejudge you about anything.  I do suggest you read the Community Rules so that you don't run afoul of them.  I encourage you to read the forum posts that interest you and participate to the extent that you feel comfortable.  We'll do our best to answer most any question.

 

Carolyn Marie

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  • Forum Moderator

Hey Kendra!

 

So two things jump out at me. One of them is the porn thing. A lot of us have a porn phase. It's a thing. It happens. Not proud of it, but from the other side, I can see where it came from.

 

The other thing is internalized transphobia. I wasn't the greatest person before either. I couldn't be one of THOSE people. I laughed at the jokes. Anything to fit in as one of, "the boys." I'm not proud of that either.

 

So yeah, like Carolyn said, read the rules of the road and jump in. This is a friendly place. We're glad you're here.

 

Hugs!

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  • Forum Moderator

When the internet first appeared all i ever found when i searched it looking for information on gender issues was porn of various types.  I read some and to this day the memories of feeling disgust mingled with fascination remained.  Years latter i searched again.  I had started my exploration of transition.  Instead of porn i am blessed to have found this site where i found support from others.  No one was interested in hooking up or bothering me somehow but that being said i have made some great friends over time.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

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