Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

voice feminization with dr. haben of professionalvoice.org in rochester, new york usa


Jeanette West

Recommended Posts

 

My Journey Through Voice Feminization with Dr. M. Haben of professionalvoice.org

I found Dr. Haben’s clinic back in the early 2000’s while perusing the internet in my university dorm room. I listened to the audio clips of the voices he had feminized, and knew this was a procedure I would get some day.

Once I became serious about vocal surgery, and had the money saved, I emailed the clinic about a consultation, and was informed consultations are performed in-person, the day before surgery. Enquiring about surgery dates found there was one open on November 3, which was perfect for me, so I told the office manager I was sending the $3500.00 deposit to her that day in an Express Mail envelope; she agreed to hold the date for me.

A few days later the envelope arrived, I received a call from Dr. Haben’s office manager and it was set. I would arrive in Rochester on Monday November 1, and get checked in to my hotel, on Tuesday I would go the doctor’s office and have the consultation and on Wednesday November 3, I would go to Unity Hospital in Rochester at 0930 to begin the check in process for the surgery, which would only last an hour thereabouts. Thursday November 4, a final check; I could return home.

Two weeks prior to my leaving Bethel, Alaska USA for Rochester, I received a call from a nurse at Unity Hospital so we could go over all the medical questions on the phone, rather than my filling out paperwork the day I arrived.

I flew to Rochester while my nurse, Lisa Lopez of Compassionate Care, drove from Hammond, Indiana USA to meet me at my hotel. I had arrived at the Airport Marriot earlier in the day, whilst she arrived around 5:00 pm. While enjoying dinner, we went over the post-op instructions yet again, and planned out our next couple of days.

Tuesday morning, we arrived at Dr. Haben’s practice, it looked exactly as it does on his webpage, the warm orangish paint and the arrangements, to fill out a few papers then was ushered in to his exam room. Dr. Haben came in only a few moments later. He is slim, energetic, personable, but carries an air of no-nonsense; he’s very intelligent and expects you to be so too, that and you’ve done your homework and memorized the after-care for the procedure you’ll be having. He is also A True Believer in masks and flu-shots, but he isn’t rude about it.

After introductions, where are you from what work do you do and other small-talk, he had me read much of The Rainbow Passage while measuring the pitch of my voice which I normally keep about 100-115Hz. He then told me, “If you want me to give you the best voice I can, I need to hear your real voice”. I actually had to think about that a moment, then begin speaking at my “real” ~88Hz, in the low-male range. He played an “E” on the electric piano, and had me hold it for a moment. Humorously telling me, “now you get the nasty stuff”, he proceeded to spray a horrible tasting liquid into my mouth and throat, it didn’t seem to numb anything that I could tell, but when the endoscope went down my throat, there was ZERO gag-reflex; a wondrous, nasty stuff indeed! Asking for a sustained E, Dr. Haben videoed my vocal cords at the same time saving audio. He put up the video to show my vocal cords, explained exactly what he would do in the OR and how the aftercare related to keeping the all-important Stitch intact. This bears repeating: The Stitch is to remain intact as long as possible, and strict voice silence bears heavily on the lifetime of The Stitch. After this, we were told to be at the hospital surgery wing at 0930 and all would go as planned, taking roughly 45 minutes to an hour, after recovering, I should be out before noon. The evaluation lasted maybe 45-minutes.

Wednesday Lisa and I Uber’d to the hospital, arriving 30 minutes early as I anticipated paperwork, insurance (there’s always paperwork, yes), and anything else Murphy could throw in my way. All took very little time; I found my insurance didn’t cover anything so coughed up my credit card for the last $6397.00. Earlier I telephoned my credit card provider, USAA Federal Savings Bank, to tell them to expect a large charge from Unity Hospital so it went right through. The woman taking my information was pleasant and professional.

We sat in the waiting area for only 2-3 minutes when an OR nurse came to get me prepped, standing outside the curtained cubicle as I dressed in the flimsy hospital gown, then taking me to my gurney to set up the IV. My anesthesiologist came in to introduce herself while I was getting my IV. I didn’t like her; she had a cold, impersonal way about her, like she would rather be doing something else.

Just then Dr. Haben came in, went over the procedure quickly, and asked if I had any final questions. I reminded him I had told the office manager I wanted the Botox injections into the vocal cord muscles to help prevent inadvertent speech. Apparently, she hadn’t told him, and so was surprised. He ordered Botox from the OR nurse standing by, then the anesthesiologist summarily injected me with a dose of Good-Night.

I awoke in the recovery room with Lisa by my side. All was well until I found that ass of an anesthesiologist had broken my two front teeth. Now, to be fair, the very ends of my teeth were very sharp and being so, were thin. I could tell she was rough as Hell intubating me as the anesthesiologist for my FFS with Dr. Zukowski 10-months previous hadn’t broken or chipped them. Either way, I was awake when Dr. Haben came in, gave my prescriptions to Lisa, and told me he’d be back for a final check so I could get out of there; this was a little after noon. Lisa came back from the hospital pharmacy without my codeine cough syrup, similar to Cheracol-C you used to be able to get OTC. When Dr, Haben came back, Lisa told him, “they don’t have the prescription, they said they never received it”, this genuinely made him angry. I overheard him on the telephone speaking to the pharmacist that, “the prescriptions were both faxed and emailed, how can one go missing, if it is included in one electronic transmission with the others, all of which you get”. This conversation went on for a while. Seems they like to play games with the doctor, where I think a conversation with the hospital director would put a stop to that. We didn’t get out of the recovery room until 4:30 in the afternoon because of the wholly unprofessional antics of the pharmacy; I strongly recommend anyone seeing Dr. Haben insist on taking the prescriptions to a private pharmacy to be filled the night before the operation.

We went to the surgery waiting area where I asked, via my notepad, if the receptionist could call us a taxi. She looked at me and asked, “which one”. I told her I was new to Rochester, that she was on a computer, she could look under ‘taxi’s’ and just anyone would do”. She was catty in the extreme. While she huffily stomped on the keyboard, a woman in the waiting area called to me, “I called one for you”. I thanked her sincerely and was amazed the receptionist didn’t even bother to look at us; she was back to playing on the computer. And this isn’t a dinky little hospital out in the sticks, you’d think they’d take some time to hire better personnel.

Back at the hotel, I took my anti-nausea meds, and the codeine laced syrup and was fine. About 8:00 p.m. I did get VERY nauseous, but that passed after I had some ice-cream.

Thursday November 4, the day after the surgery we were back at Dr. Haven’s clinic to have him take one more look down my throat. He pronounced The Stitch to be in perfect condition and to do everything I could to stay away from acidic foods (they degrade The Stitch), and not cough or clear my throat as much as possible. To this end I had my large Thermos of peppermint tea laced with four tablespoons of honey and three of lemon juice to be sipped throughout the day, every day, for 29 more days. Lisa and I left the clinic immediately beginning our journey driving back to Chicago so I wouldn’t have to deal with heavy bags and air travel immediately after the surgery, allowing a few days recovery and just to have fun. We paused at The Best Western Inn in Elyria, Ohio USA to overnight before completing our journey the next day in Chicago.

It is December 1st and I cannot wait to begin using my voice; it is intensely isolating to not be able to speak.

To summate: from initial contact, scheduling, traveling, surgery and return, I had no real problems. I was treated well, professionally, and with care, except by the anesthesiologist. If I had to do it over, I would ask my personal physician to prescribe anti-nausea medications, along with 5-6 good pain meds; Haben refuses to prescribe anything other than ibuprofen or Tylenol. MAKE SURE you tell him you want the Botox injections. You’re paying huge money for this, $800.00 is only 7% of the overall cost for this added insurance. You may be scrupulously following the doctors silence regime but what about when you are asleep? Lastly; the Botox will make swallowing more challenging: CHEW your food thoroughly and have plenty of water to add before swallowing, you don’t want to start coughing and choking; I know from experience. Only the future will tell if my voice comes out 195Hz like I desire, it takes up to a year for the voice to mature.

I haven’t included the cost for Compassionate Care, Lisa Lopez, my nurse, because her driving to meet me two States over added to her overall charge which is only reasonable. She may be reached at fabulouslopez555 AT yahoo DOT com: remove the AT exchange with @ and DOT with a . I wrote it this way to defeat the web-bots.

I know this went long, I wanted to flesh this out for you to get the feel of the entire journey.

Costs:

$3500.00 deposit

  6397.00 final

  1900.00 airfare

    900.00 hotel

12,597.00 total

Link to comment
1 hour ago, Jeanette West said:

My Journey Through Voice Feminization with Dr. M. Haben of professionalvoice.org

I found Dr. Haben’s clinic back in the early 2000’s while perusing the internet in my university dorm room. I listened to the audio clips of the voices he had feminized, and knew this was a procedure I would get some day.

Once I became serious about vocal surgery, and had the money saved, I emailed the clinic about a consultation, and was informed consultations are performed in-person, the day before surgery. Enquiring about surgery dates found there was one open on November 3, which was perfect for me, so I told the office manager I was sending the $3500.00 deposit to her that day in an Express Mail envelope; she agreed to hold the date for me.

A few days later the envelope arrived, I received a call from Dr. Haben’s office manager and it was set. I would arrive in Rochester on Monday November 1, and get checked in to my hotel, on Tuesday I would go the doctor’s office and have the consultation and on Wednesday November 3, I would go to Unity Hospital in Rochester at 0930 to begin the check in process for the surgery, which would only last an hour thereabouts. Thursday November 4, a final check; I could return home.

Two weeks prior to my leaving Bethel, Alaska USA for Rochester, I received a call from a nurse at Unity Hospital so we could go over all the medical questions on the phone, rather than my filling out paperwork the day I arrived.

I flew to Rochester while my nurse, Lisa Lopez of Compassionate Care, drove from Hammond, Indiana USA to meet me at my hotel. I had arrived at the Airport Marriot earlier in the day, whilst she arrived around 5:00 pm. While enjoying dinner, we went over the post-op instructions yet again, and planned out our next couple of days.

Tuesday morning, we arrived at Dr. Haben’s practice, it looked exactly as it does on his webpage, the warm orangish paint and the arrangements, to fill out a few papers then was ushered in to his exam room. Dr. Haben came in only a few moments later. He is slim, energetic, personable, but carries an air of no-nonsense; he’s very intelligent and expects you to be so too, that and you’ve done your homework and memorized the after-care for the procedure you’ll be having. He is also A True Believer in masks and flu-shots, but he isn’t rude about it.

After introductions, where are you from what work do you do and other small-talk, he had me read much of The Rainbow Passage while measuring the pitch of my voice which I normally keep about 100-115Hz. He then told me, “If you want me to give you the best voice I can, I need to hear your real voice”. I actually had to think about that a moment, then begin speaking at my “real” ~88Hz, in the low-male range. He played an “E” on the electric piano, and had me hold it for a moment. Humorously telling me, “now you get the nasty stuff”, he proceeded to spray a horrible tasting liquid into my mouth and throat, it didn’t seem to numb anything that I could tell, but when the endoscope went down my throat, there was ZERO gag-reflex; a wondrous, nasty stuff indeed! Asking for a sustained E, Dr. Haben videoed my vocal cords at the same time saving audio. He put up the video to show my vocal cords, explained exactly what he would do in the OR and how the aftercare related to keeping the all-important Stitch intact. This bears repeating: The Stitch is to remain intact as long as possible, and strict voice silence bears heavily on the lifetime of The Stitch. After this, we were told to be at the hospital surgery wing at 0930 and all would go as planned, taking roughly 45 minutes to an hour, after recovering, I should be out before noon. The evaluation lasted maybe 45-minutes.

Wednesday Lisa and I Uber’d to the hospital, arriving 30 minutes early as I anticipated paperwork, insurance (there’s always paperwork, yes), and anything else Murphy could throw in my way. All took very little time; I found my insurance didn’t cover anything so coughed up my credit card for the last $6397.00. Earlier I telephoned my credit card provider, USAA Federal Savings Bank, to tell them to expect a large charge from Unity Hospital so it went right through. The woman taking my information was pleasant and professional.

We sat in the waiting area for only 2-3 minutes when an OR nurse came to get me prepped, standing outside the curtained cubicle as I dressed in the flimsy hospital gown, then taking me to my gurney to set up the IV. My anesthesiologist came in to introduce herself while I was getting my IV. I didn’t like her; she had a cold, impersonal way about her, like she would rather be doing something else.

Just then Dr. Haben came in, went over the procedure quickly, and asked if I had any final questions. I reminded him I had told the office manager I wanted the Botox injections into the vocal cord muscles to help prevent inadvertent speech. Apparently, she hadn’t told him, and so was surprised. He ordered Botox from the OR nurse standing by, then the anesthesiologist summarily injected me with a dose of Good-Night.

I awoke in the recovery room with Lisa by my side. All was well until I found that ass of an anesthesiologist had broken my two front teeth. Now, to be fair, the very ends of my teeth were very sharp and being so, were thin. I could tell she was rough as Hell intubating me as the anesthesiologist for my FFS with Dr. Zukowski 10-months previous hadn’t broken or chipped them. Either way, I was awake when Dr. Haben came in, gave my prescriptions to Lisa, and told me he’d be back for a final check so I could get out of there; this was a little after noon. Lisa came back from the hospital pharmacy without my codeine cough syrup, similar to Cheracol-C you used to be able to get OTC. When Dr, Haben came back, Lisa told him, “they don’t have the prescription, they said they never received it”, this genuinely made him angry. I overheard him on the telephone speaking to the pharmacist that, “the prescriptions were both faxed and emailed, how can one go missing, if it is included in one electronic transmission with the others, all of which you get”. This conversation went on for a while. Seems they like to play games with the doctor, where I think a conversation with the hospital director would put a stop to that. We didn’t get out of the recovery room until 4:30 in the afternoon because of the wholly unprofessional antics of the pharmacy; I strongly recommend anyone seeing Dr. Haben insist on taking the prescriptions to a private pharmacy to be filled the night before the operation.

We went to the surgery waiting area where I asked, via my notepad, if the receptionist could call us a taxi. She looked at me and asked, “which one”. I told her I was new to Rochester, that she was on a computer, she could look under ‘taxi’s’ and just anyone would do”. She was catty in the extreme. While she huffily stomped on the keyboard, a woman in the waiting area called to me, “I called one for you”. I thanked her sincerely and was amazed the receptionist didn’t even bother to look at us; she was back to playing on the computer. And this isn’t a dinky little hospital out in the sticks, you’d think they’d take some time to hire better personnel.

Back at the hotel, I took my anti-nausea meds, and the codeine laced syrup and was fine. About 8:00 p.m. I did get VERY nauseous, but that passed after I had some ice-cream.

Thursday November 4, the day after the surgery we were back at Dr. Haven’s clinic to have him take one more look down my throat. He pronounced The Stitch to be in perfect condition and to do everything I could to stay away from acidic foods (they degrade The Stitch), and not cough or clear my throat as much as possible. To this end I had my large Thermos of peppermint tea laced with four tablespoons of honey and three of lemon juice to be sipped throughout the day, every day, for 29 more days. Lisa and I left the clinic immediately beginning our journey driving back to Chicago so I wouldn’t have to deal with heavy bags and air travel immediately after the surgery, allowing a few days recovery and just to have fun. We paused at The Best Western Inn in Elyria, Ohio USA to overnight before completing our journey the next day in Chicago.

It is December 1st and I cannot wait to begin using my voice; it is intensely isolating to not be able to speak.

To summate: from initial contact, scheduling, traveling, surgery and return, I had no real problems. I was treated well, professionally, and with care, except by the anesthesiologist. If I had to do it over, I would ask my personal physician to prescribe anti-nausea medications, along with 5-6 good pain meds; Haben refuses to prescribe anything other than ibuprofen or Tylenol. MAKE SURE you tell him you want the Botox injections. You’re paying huge money for this, $800.00 is only 7% of the overall cost for this added insurance. You may be scrupulously following the doctors silence regime but what about when you are asleep? Lastly; the Botox will make swallowing more challenging: CHEW your food thoroughly and have plenty of water to add before swallowing, you don’t want to start coughing and choking; I know from experience. Only the future will tell if my voice comes out 195Hz like I desire, it takes up to a year for the voice to mature.

I haven’t included the cost for Compassionate Care, Lisa Lopez, my nurse, because her driving to meet me two States over added to her overall charge which is only reasonable. She may be reached at fabulouslopez555 AT yahoo DOT com: remove the AT exchange with @ and DOT with a . I wrote it this way to defeat the web-bots.

I know this went long, I wanted to flesh this out for you to get the feel of the entire journey.

Costs:

$3500.00 deposit

  6397.00 final

  1900.00 airfare

    900.00 hotel

12,597.00 total

That's a lot to go through. I hope you keep us updated. I may go for this myself some day. Thanks

Link to comment
33 minutes ago, Jamie68 said:

That's a lot to go through. I hope you keep us updated. I may go for this myself some day. Thanks

My pleasure Jamie. Back in 1988 when I was diagnosed, there was no internet and NO information available. I want to make sure anyone thinking about procedures has information with which to work. Reading after dinner for an hour or so doesn't cost any money, best do it and any other research, as it's free, whereas the procedures are definitely not. Get that research done to reduce anxiety.

I have been accused of being "a planner", well, this is my way of reducing my anxiety and making sure to myself I'll have the outcome I wish to have. So....there you go. Good luck!

Link to comment

Thank you for all the information. As I’m older, I’m planning to have the “triple,” with Dr. Haben, but I haven’t made up my mind just yet. Please keep us updated! Much appreciated!

Link to comment

I would like to add a correction to my review:

Dr. Haben prescribed 60-days Omeprazole to prevent acid reflux, I was referring to asking your personal physician for 2-3 days strong anti-nausea meds to prevent vomiting right after the surgery; I experienced powerful nausea even though I had taken what Dr. Haben had given me. And it was his your order to have enough honey-lemon laced tea to sip all day every day to last the 30-days; it really works to keep the phlegm from building in the throat to minimize having to clear one's throat and protect that Stitch.

Link to comment
  • 7 months later...

Hi, Jeanette! Thanks again for your information. I will be having surgery with Dr. Haben next month. Any updates? I hope you are doing well. 

Link to comment
  • 1 month later...

Oh, well. I was hoping to get updates, but I guess Jeanette is gone. I will be having voice feminization surgery with Dr. Haben tomorrow. I am both nervous and excited. Jeanette's account pretty much matches my first impressions of Dr. Haben. He inspires confidence, but I haven't had the surgery yet, so I will provide updates when I'm up for it. Last chance to give me advice! 

Link to comment

I had surgery with Dr. Haben several days ago, and everything went quite well. Now comes the tough part, not talking for a month. Actually, I’m quite confident that I’ll be able to refrain from speaking. What worries me is coughing, burps, and similar issues. In a couple of days I’ll have my neck stitches removed, and Dr. Haben will check again before I leave Rochester. The staff at Unity Hospital were wonderful, and I didn’t have any of the problems that Jeanette encountered. At this point, I’m quite happy, but I’ll have to wait at least a month before I have any sense of how my voice changed. Fingers crossed.

 

71BE7B72-D5E2-4E76-8C9B-93704F3D4330.thumb.jpeg.7f66eca0cdd26b10df694ee289a84a82.jpeg

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Heal quickly and silently.  

 

Gentle Hugs,

 

Charlize

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   8 Members, 0 Anonymous, 102 Guests (See full list)

    • KathyLauren
    • MaeBe
    • Abigail Genevieve
    • Ashley0616
    • Ivy
    • Karen Carey
    • SamC
    • Mmindy
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      768.4k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,029
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Selkimur
    Newest Member
    Selkimur
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Anyatimenow
      Anyatimenow
      (23 years old)
    2. Aria00
      Aria00
    3. Ava B.
      Ava B.
      (24 years old)
    4. Claire Heshi
      Claire Heshi
    5. CrystalMatthews0426
      CrystalMatthews0426
      (41 years old)
  • Posts

    • LucyF
      I've got Spironolactone ___mg and Evorel ___mcg Patches (2 a week) going up to ___mg after 4 weeks 
    • Ivy
      Got a new Granddaughter this morning.  Mother and child (and father) are doing fine. This makes 7 granddaughters and one grandson.  I have 2 sons and 6 daughters myself.  And then I  switched teams.  I think this stuff runs in the family. Another hard day for the patriarchy.
    • Ivy
      Like @MaeBe pointed out, Trump won't do these things personally.  I doubt that he actually gives a rat's a$$ himself.  But he is the foot in the door for the others.   I don't really see this.  Personally, I am all in favor of "traditional" families.  I raised my own kids this way and it can work fine.  But I think we need to allow for other variations as well.   One thing working against this now is how hard it is for a single breadwinner to support a family.  Many people (I know some) would prefer "traditional" if they could actually afford it.  Like I mentioned, we raised our family with this model, but we were always right at the poverty level.   I was a "conservative evangelical" for most of my life, actually.  So I do understand this.  Admittedly, I no longer consider myself one. I have family members still in this camp.  Some tolerate me, one actually rejects me.  I assure you the rejection is on her side, not mine.  But, I understand she believes what she is doing is right - 'sa pity though. I mean no insult toward anyone on this forum.  You're free to disagree with me.  Many people do.   This is a pretty complex one.  Socialism takes many forms, many of which we accept without even realizing it.  "Classism" does exist, for what it's worth.  Always has, probably always will.  But I don't feel like that is a subject for this forum.   As for the election, it's shaping up to be another one of those "hold your nose" deals.
    • Ivy
      Just some exerts regarding subjects of interest to me.
    • Ivy
      Yeah.  In my early teens I trained myself out of a few things that I now wish I hadn't.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I was thinking in particular of BLM, who years ago had a 'What We Believe' section that sounded like they were at war with the nuclear family.   I tried to find it. Nope.  Of interest https://www.politifact.com/article/2020/aug/28/ask-politifact-does-black-lives-matter-aim-destroy/   My time is limited and I will try to answer as I can.
    • Ivy
      Well, I suppose it is possible that they don't actually plan on doing what they say.  I'm not too sure I want to take that chance.  But I kinda expect to find out.  Yet, perhaps you're right and it's all just talk.  And anyway, my state GOP is giving me enough to worry about anyway. I remember a time when being "woke" just meant you were paying attention.  Now it means you are the antichrist. I just don't want the government "protecting" me from my personal "delusions."
    • MaeBe
      1.  I think there are some legitimate concern.   2. Thoroughly discussing this will consume many threads.   3. I disagree partially with @MaeBe but there is partial agreement.   4. The context includes what is happening in society that the authors are observing.  It is not an isolated document.   The observation is through a certain lens, because people do things differently doesn't mean they're doing it wrong. Honestly, a lot of the conservative rhetoric is morphing desires of people to be treated with respect and social equity to be tantamount to the absolution of the family, heterosexuality, etc. Also, being quiet and trying to blend in doesn't change anything. Show me a social change that benefits a minority or marginalized group that didn't need to be loud.   5. Trump, if elected, is as likely to spend his energies going after political opponents as he is to implementing something like this.   Trump will appoint people to do this, like Roger Severino (who was appointed before, who has a record of anti-LGBTQ+ actions), he need not do anything beyond this. His people are ready to push this agenda forward. While the conservative right rails about bureaucracy, they intend to weaponize it. There is no question. They don't want to simplify government, they simply want to fire everyone and bring in conservative "warriors" (their rhetoric). Does America survive 4 year cycles of purge/cronyism?   6. I reject critical theory, which is based on Marxism.  Marxism has never worked and never will.  Critical theory has problems which would need time to go into, which I do not have.   OK, but this seems like every other time CRT comes up with conservatives...completely out of the blue. I think it's reference is mostly just to spark outrage from the base. Definitely food thought for a different thread, though.   7. There are groups who have declared war on the nuclear family as problematically patriarchal, and a lot of other terms. They are easy to find on the internet.  This document is reacting to that (see #4 above).   What is the war on the nuclear family? I searched online and couldn't find much other than reasons why people aren't getting married as much or having kids (that wasn't a propaganda from Heritage or opinions pieces from the right that paint with really broad strokes). Easy things to see: the upward mobility and agency of women, the massive cost of rearing children, general negative attitudes about the future, male insecurity, etc. None of this equates to a war on the nuclear family, but I guess if you look at it as "men should be breadwinners and women must get married for financial support and extend the male family line (and to promote "National Greatness") I could see the decline of marriage as a sign of the collapse of a titled system and, if I was a beneficiary of that system or believe that to NOT be tilted, be aggrieved.   8.  Much of this would have to be legislated, and this is a policy documented.  Implementation would  be most likely different, but that does not mean criticism is unwarranted.   "It might be different if you just give it a chance", unlike all the other legislation that's out there targeting LGBTQ+ from the right, these are going to be different? First it will be trans rights, then it will be gay marriage, and then what? Women's suffrage?   I get it, we may have different compasses, but it's not hard to see that there's no place for queer people in the conservative worldview. There seems to be a consistent insistence that "America was and is no longer Great", as if the 1950s were the pinnacle of society, completely ignoring how great America still is and can continue to be--without having to regress society to the low standards of its patriarchal yesteryears.    
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Cadillac parts are pretty expensive, so repairing them costs more.  But they don't seem to break down more than other makes.  Lots of Lincoln models use Ford cars as a base, so you can get parts that aren't much more expensive.    My family has had good luck with "Panther platform" cars.  Ford Crown Victoria, Mercury Marquis, Lincoln Towncar or Continental.  4.6 V8 and 5.0 V8.  Reasonable fuel economy, and fairly durable.  Our county sheriff's office was running Chargers and SUV's for a while, but has gone back to older Crown Victorias for ease of maintenance.  GF rebuilds them here.  But they are getting more scarce, since the newest ones were made in 2011.    1992-1997 years were different than the later years.  1998-2001 they did some changes, and apparently the best years are 2003 to 2011.  Check Craigslist, and also government auctions.  GF has gotten a lot of them at auction, and they can be had in rough-but-running shape for around $1,000.  Ones in great shape can be found in the $5,000+ range.  Good for 200,000 miles without significant rebuilding.  Go through engine and transmission and electrical systems, and they go half a million.    Some Chrysler models are OK.  The 300 mostly has the same engines as the Charger and Challenger, so parts availability is pretty good.  But they tend to get timing issues.  The older Chrysler Sebring convertibles were pretty reliable, sometimes going 200,000 miles without tons of problems, although after that they were pretty much worn out. 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I think I have read everything the Southern Baptists have to say on transgender, and it helped convince me they are dead wrong on these issues.  They can be nice people.  I would never join an SBC church.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      You come across as a thoughtful, sweet, interesting and pleasant person.    There are parts of this country, and more so the world, where evangelicals experience a great deal of finger wagging.
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      It has been an interesting experience being in a marriage in a Christian faith community, yet being intersex/trans.  I stay pretty quiet, and most have kind of accepted that I'm just the strange, harmless exception.  "Oh, that's just Jen.  Jen is...different."  I define success as being a person most folks just overlook. 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Well, I live in an area with a lot of Southern Baptists, Evangelicals, etc...  We've experienced our share of finger-wagging, as the "standard interpretation" of Scripture in the USA is that the Bible only approves of "one man, one woman" marriage.  My faith community is mostly accepted here, but that has taken time and effort.  It can be tough at times to continue to engage with culture and the broader population, and avoid the temptation to huddle up behind walls like a cult.    Tolerance only goes so far.  At one point, my husband was asked to run for sheriff.  He declined, partly because an elected official with four wives would have a REALLY tough time.  (Of course, making way less than his current salary wasn't an option either). 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      My bone structure is far more female than male.  I can't throw like a guy, which has been observed by guys numerous times, and moving like a woman is more natural.  It just is.  I'm not going out of my way to act in a fem. way, as you say, but I am letting go of some of the 'I am not going to move like that because I am a guy' stuff I have defensively developed.  The other breaks through anyway - there were numerous looks from people at work when I would use gestures that are forbidden to men, or say something spontaneously no guy would ever say.   At one point, maybe a year or more ago, I said it was unfair for people to think they were dealing with a man when they were actually dealing with a woman.    Girl here.  'What is a woman' is a topic for another day.
    • Willow
      Mom, I’m home!  What’s for lunch?   Leftover pizza .   ok.    Not exactly our conversation but there is truth in the answer.     @KymmieLsorry you are sick. Feel better soon.   Girl mode, boy mode no mode, not us. Nothing functional for either of us.   anyone here have or had a 10 year old (plus or minus) Caddy, Lincoln or Chrysler?  How was it?  Lots of repairs?  Comfortable seats? Anything positive or negative about it?  I need to replace my 2004 Ford Explorer Eddie Bauer, it’s eating $100 dollar bills and needs a couple of thousand dollars worth of work and that doesn’t even fix the check engine code.  Obviously, it isn’t worth putting that kind of money into a 20 year old car with a 174 thousand miles.   Willow
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...