Wearing a bra without it being too noticable?

[Heather Nicole]

This is kind of a worry that's been in the back of my mind for awhile. If I get to a point in transition where there's some situation I'm still regularly presenting in guy mode (for example, not being out at work yet) but I reach a point of feeling like I need to wear some kind of bra (maybe to protect overly-sensitive "buds" or to temporarily hide otherwise-noticeable chest development before "coming out"...not that I'm expecting anything like a C cup or anything, obviously, but just looking to be as prepared as possible)...I'm curious about any advice anyone might have on wearing some kind of bra stealthily - without it being too apparent through my shirt.

 

I have two ideas: 1. I assume something like a plain white, black or beige non-strappy sports bra would probably be better than anything with visual designs or anything that isn't a sports bra? I think??? And 2. I figure layering tops would help (ex: never taking off my jacket!), but I'm that kind of person that I tend to run hot (temperature-wise) and easily get too warm/sweaty with any sort of layering no matter the time of year.

 

[helena]

Hello Heather Nicole!

 

I don't know what kind of guy clothing you usually wear at the office, but if it's possible, maybe some sort of low print, skin colored bralette combined with a loose shirt with a dark color would do the trick.

 

Can't really say about how to protect sore nipples though since I'm not on HRT yet, so no experience on that.

 

-H

[Audrey]

Dear @Heather Nicole, I am happy to share my thoughts! The idea of a sports bra is a good one because they will tend to compress the breasts somewhat and reduce movement (ideal for exercise). Bras with soft cups or that are strapless might be less noticeable too. You might also consider a bralette as Helena suggests, which offers coverage and can be pretty, but is thin and hard to see under clothing. Bralettes are not very supportive or protective though. There are many bra features you will want to avoid if you are trying to disguise it: molded cups, padded cups, underwire, and anything described as a "push-up" bra. Many bras are designed with the idea of enhancing the breasts.

 

All that said, I think the main factor in how noticeable a bra is depends on how closely your top fits to your body. Looser fitting tops, or those made from thicker fabrics, will hide what is underneath easier. Layering also helps, as you suggest. If you are wearing men's clothing, most tops will not show enough neckline to reveal a bra since they will be designed with covering chest hair in mind (among other things). There is also the importance of fit. I am not sure what your comfort level will be, but the best solution is a fitting. If that is not an option, there are some helpful ideas about to measure yourself over on Her Room. They also stock a lot of sizes, including hard-to-find ones with both larger band sizes and smaller cup sizes.

 

I hope this helps!

 

Love,

~Audrey.

[Charlotte Ye Ye]

I know this is diverging a little from the topic, but it just shows you the level of sexism in society that still exists.  Male gymnasts can pretty much wear whatever they want.  Women gymnasts get points knocked off if their bra strap is showing.  Male beach volleyball players can turn up wearing a wet suit and flippers, women players must wear a two piece bikini.  I'm reminded of a film I saw, similar problem of bra showing, problem being solved by a jacket and single headphone lead in one ear, presenting the image of federal agent, straps being gun holster.

 

Maybe you could try a very thin loose vest under your top, darker coloured?

[Jackie C.]

If you're going stealth and want to protect sensitive nipples, I'd suggest something like these:

 

Strapless Adhesive Bra

 

I've got two pair and they hardly show. You can also adjust the level of support and how they handle the girls based on the way you stick 'em to your chest. Not compatible with chest hair though.

 

Hugs!

[Kathy2020]

I am actually living through this problem at the moment, and the solution that is currently working is - of all things - Fruit of the Loom basic sports bras. They come in the traditional white, black, and beige, are a 95/5% cotton/spandex blend, and have just enough padding in front to protect my "buddies." Although they have straps, they lay flat and are barely noticeable under a regular t-shirt. Best of all, if it is noticed, it looks like a tank-top undershirt rather than a bra and draws zero attention. Support is pretty good too along with shaping. The best part, though, is they are cheap, so you won't break the bank trying one to see if its right for you. Have fun shopping!

[KathyLauren]

I had to do that a few months after I started HRT.  I wore a sports bra with wide shoulder straps, like a tank-top, rather than skinny straps.  Make sure you get one without moulded cups.  It worked well under loose-fitting winter shirts.

 

The only problem was the one time during that period when the concert band I was in was playing a concert.  Concert uniform required black pants and a white top.  Obviously a bra would show through the white shirt.  I bought a white tank top to wear under the shirt, over the bra.  That did the job.

 

Fortunately, a few weeks later, I came out, and the problem went away.

[Heather Nicole]

Thanks for all the tips! 💜 I feel like I have a pretty decent-sized arsenal of tactics to work with now 😀

 

I do have to say just one thing at the very least...I don't know why in the world "strapless bra" wasn't even popping into my head at all! I know they exist, I know that the silhouette of bra straps popping up from under my shirt in guy-mode has been one of my worries, and yet my brain apparently just tripped and faceplanted all over "2+2"!

 

I love all the suggestions though, and thanks to that I've already ordered some things to try out ahead of time and hopefully be ready with. (I could claim to be a big believer in the Scout's "Be prepared", but really I just freak out over any thought of possibly being caught off-guard 😁)

 

(Geez, I thought it was a rollercoaster just processing the "Oh! I may actually be trans after all!" and the stubbornness of the little self-doubt monster that comes with that. But with actual hrt-4-me finally within close reach...whew! That little self-doubt monster and I are both just kinda all over the place! But I'm definitely more excited than I've been in quite a while...🤩)

[Guest]

One note on sports bras: the ones with removable pads can be a beast sometimes since the pads can become twisted in the wash. I bought some Puma sports bras from Costco that avoided this problem and have been my goto bra for the past year though they’re not very discreet. I’ve since graduated to bras from Pepper though I’m probably on of the few here that can wear those since their band sizes are limited.

[Jamie68]

It's funny that we worry so much about this. If you look around at pretty much any retired man, most of them look like they should be wearing a bra, and they don't seem to care.

[Jackie C.]

3 hours ago, Erica Gabriel said:

One note on sports bras: the ones with removable pads can be a beast sometimes since the pads can become twisted in the wash.

 

You're supposed to remove the pads before they hit the washing machine. On a related note, regular laundry soap eats the spandex. Hit up your local bra shop and get the soap they sell. Then hand-wash in the sink. Your bras will last longer and hold their shape better.

 

Also, during wearing, I've managed to get both of those stupid pads to migrate into the same cup. I have no idea how.

 

Hugs!

[stveee]

41 minutes ago, Jackie C. said:

 

 

Also, during wearing, I've managed to get both of those stupid pads to migrate into the same cup. I have no idea how.

 

Hugs!

That's because you are obviously a woman of many talents! 

I was waiting for you to chime in and give your expertise on this, especially after reading through your older thread on your bottom surgery which was written with such masterly imagery and detail to put me off going anywhere near such as a butterknife for several years. Ginormous hugs to you, as usual.

 

I plan on nosing out strapless or bandeau myself, until what I assume eventually gravity becomes part of the equation.

 

I would also suggest for new members to dig through older material here, as this site literally delivers in every way every possible combination of horror, bliss and comedy a transitioning person could ever discover in one sitting. 

[Guest]

2 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

 

You're supposed to remove the pads before they hit the washing machine. On a related note, regular laundry soap eats the spandex. Hit up your local bra shop and get the soap they sell. Then hand-wash in the sink. Your bras will last longer and hold their shape better.

 

Also, during wearing, I've managed to get both of those stupid pads to migrate into the same cup. I have no idea how.

 

Hugs!

It’s the dryer that kills the spandex/Lycra. My new “fancy” bras are washed in fabric bags and hung to dry. True, you’re supposed to remove the pads but I hate trying to squeeze those buggers back in. 

[Jani]

2 minutes ago, Erica Gabriel said:

My new “fancy” bras are washed in fabric bags and hung to dry.

This is what I do as well and mine last quite a long time.  

[Guest]

1 minute ago, Jani said:

This is what I do as well and mine last quite a long time.  

Yeah. Treat your $50 bra right and it’ll treat your priceless girls right 🤣

[Astrid]

1 minute ago, Erica Gabriel said:

True, you’re supposed to remove the pads but I hate trying to squeeze those buggers back in. 

 

It is remarkable how small they make the side slits for removable pads.  But it's become part of my weekly ritual to re-insert them after washing, and a new, normal laundry ritual for me to ensure they're positioned properly and smooth.  I occasionally have to reposition and re-smooth the pads if I hastily remove my sports bra, as they can double up and get a bit twisted.  But, hey, sports bras really well for me, so I'm happy.

 

Astrid

[Heather Nicole]

Ah, so that explains why the hair ties I forget in my pocket tend to break more easily after they've gone through laundry day. Although, I've since switched to the no-elastic nylon ones, they rip out fewer strands of hair.

 

4 hours ago, Jamie68 said:

It's funny that we worry so much about this. If you look around at pretty much any retired man, most of them look like they should be wearing a bra, and they don't seem to care.

 

Incidentally, at my weight, I already have that going on anyway. AFAICT, nobody seems to notice or care. Although, they are overshadowed by my gut. But if they do get fuller, rounder, I can imagine them becoming a bit more obvious. (Which, ultimately, I want, of course 😜 )

[Heather Nicole]

On 12/11/2021 at 3:24 AM, helena said:

I don't know what kind of guy clothing you usually wear at the office

 

Oh, right, I still didn't say, did I? Usually (well, ok, always when I'm in guy mode) my top is just a plain single-color t-shirt, and that's it. Sometimes with a pocket, sometimes not. Nothing bright. Black, earth tones (usually dark), medium or light heathered-grey, etc.) Not exactly a lot of variation on the men's side of my wardrobe, lol.

[Audrey]

On bra care... it is important to let your bras rest for a couple days between wearing, so that the fabric can recover and not get overstretched. Hand-washing them with the gentlest soap and touch possible, and I find they are still in pretty good shape. It took me a few tries to find the right bra for me, but once I did I bought several since I am wearing them every day. I wear a Va Bien strapless molded cup underwire bra, designed for wide set breasts and a high tummy. Does wonders for making tops more flattering!

 

Love,

~Audrey.