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Lauren Michelle


LaurenMichelle

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Hi!  I registered last night and wanted to do an introduction of myself (I apologize before hand if I ramble a bit)..

My name is Lauren Michelle or just Lauren (sorry but I do love being called Lauren).  I am a 48 year old MTF woman. I have struggled with my identity all my life (I’m sure I’m not the first)..but after all the years I’m moving forward now with being my true self.  I find I’m happier with myself as I become more accepting of myself as a woman. I used to think it was all about the clothes (the fetish stage for me) but more and more it became less about the clothing (don’t get me wrong I LOVE THE LOOK AND FEEL OF MY GIRL CLOTHES) and more about how I feel internally in my mind and heart as a woman. I look at my self and really don’t like the reflection and I know the “parts” are not correct. I even tried the marriage route but that ended as I had no attraction to her (I’m a heterosexual female). 

Now while I dressed off and on since I was around 15 I really am a newbie at being a woman and I have not come out to anyone yet.  I know one of my first steps is to find a therapist which hopefully will lead to confirmation of what I already know about myself.  Then on to HRT…where I have done reading upon reading of the effects which are both positive and negative but the positive far outweigh the negative in my eyes.  

Whew there’s probably more I could say but I’ve probably rambled on enough for now..

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  • Forum Moderator

Salutations Lauren and welcome to Transpulse!

 

I came out at... well, TECHNICALLY before I was 48 but only by a month. Almost the same age as you anyway. I was completely out by June, four months later. I did the same thing you did as well, I called a therapist and asked for help. Then I came here for support.

 

So good news, three years down the line I still have my bad days but I can see that cutie in the mirror more often than not. May you have the same glorious journey!

 

So yeah. Look around. Post. Ask questions! We're glad you're here!

 

Hugs!

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8 minutes ago, LaurenMichelle said:

 

 

Hi!  I registered last night and wanted to do an introduction of myself (I apologize before hand if I ramble a bit)..

My name is Lauren Michelle or just Lauren (sorry but I do love being called Lauren).  I am a 48 year old MTF woman. I have struggled with my identity all my life (I’m sure I’m not the first)..but after all the years I’m moving forward now with being my true self.  I find I’m happier with myself as I become more accepting of myself as a woman. I used to think it was all about the clothes (the fetish stage for me) but more and more it became less about the clothing (don’t get me wrong I LOVE THE LOOK AND FEEL OF MY GIRL CLOTHES) and more about how I feel internally in my mind and heart as a woman. I look at my self and really don’t like the reflection and I know the “parts” are not correct. I even tried the marriage route but that ended as I had no attraction to her (I’m a heterosexual female). 

Now while I dressed off and on since I was around 15 I really am a newbie at being a woman and I have not come out to anyone yet.  I know one of my first steps is to find a therapist which hopefully will lead to confirmation of what I already know about myself.  Then on to HRT…where I have done reading upon reading of the effects which are both positive and negative but the positive far outweigh the negative in my eyes.  

Whew there’s probably more I could say but I’ve probably rambled on enough for now..

You have no need to feel as though you rambled. Many of us have had similar journeys and when we take the lid off, it is like that fizzed up soda pop that we left in the freezer too long that spews when we unwind the cap. It feels cathartic to verbalize. Never apologize for being enthusiastic about yourself! Welcome and enjoy the conversation. 

Sincerely

Katie

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9 minutes ago, Jackie C. said:

Salutations Lauren and welcome to Transpulse!

 

I came out at... well, TECHNICALLY before I was 48 but only by a month. Almost the same age as you anyway. I was completely out by June, four months later. I did the same thing you did as well, I called a therapist and asked for help. Then I came here for support.

 

So good news, three years down the line I still have my bad days but I can see that cutie in the mirror more often than not. May you have the same glorious journey!

 

So yeah. Look around. Post. Ask questions! We're glad you're here!

 

Hugs!

Thank you Jackie!

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  • Forum Moderator

Welcome Lauren.  Perhaps many of my early experiences were associated with dressing as a female but i have certainly found as you describe as i have accepted my identity the dressing aspect is much less important.  My time here and with a therapist helped me find peace with myself.  Simply knowing that others could find acceptance as themselves gave me strength to carry on.  

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

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Hello from another newbie. I'm 50 and in a quite similar situation as you. I went to a therapist today and the next step will be meeting a psychiatrist. Love what you wrote about feeling internally in your mind and heart as a woman. I need to start exploring that.

 

Hugs, Hanna

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16 minutes ago, Hanna said:

Hello from another newbie. I'm 50 and in a quite similar situation as you. I went to a therapist today and the next step will be meeting a psychiatrist. Love what you wrote about feeling internally in your mind and heart as a woman. I need to start exploring that.

 

Hugs, Hanna

Hugs back! Yes I feel that a therapist will only confirm what I already know and have known all my life.

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  • Forum Moderator

Good morning Lauren,

 

Welcome to TransPulseForums, I was 64 when I came out to my wife. To say it was a rocky time after that is an understatement. The folks here are more valuable than any one of them believes. They don't replace therapy, but they really complement it.

 

Best wishes, stay positive, and safe,

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

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Welcome Lauren! Glad you're here. You mentioned being a newbie, I often feel like a teenager breaking into womanhood, but with a lot of miles on me. I hope you find the loving support, advice & acceptance here as I have.

 

Hugs!

Delcina

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  • Forum Moderator
11 hours ago, LaurenMichelle said:

I have struggled with my identity all my life (I’m sure I’m not the first)..but after all the years I’m moving forward now with being my true self.

Welcome Lauren. It’s truly a pleasure to have you onboard. As a transgender person, there are few things you can do to make your life feel more free and purposeful than living as your authentic self. Although it is a difficult road, many of us here have decided to make the journey despite what the conforming society tells us. There are few that make the journey that feel at ease going back to their old way of life afterwards. Most that do have done it because of societal pressures and/or their loved ones have asked them to…not because they want it.

 

I wish you the very best on your journey. I think as others have mentioned, our site is a great place to learn, get advice, make real lasting friendships, or just blow off some steam (in a nice way😉). Hope to see you around.

 

Warmest Regards,

Susan R🌷

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1 hour ago, Susan R said:

Welcome Lauren. It’s truly a pleasure to have you onboard. As a transgender person, there are few things you can do to make your life feel more free and purposeful than living as your authentic self. Although it is a difficult road, many of us here have decided to make the journey despite what the conforming society tells us. There are few that make the journey that feel at ease going back to their old way of life afterwards. Most that do have done it because of societal pressures and/or their loved ones have asked them to…not because they want it.

 

I wish you the very best on your journey. I think as others have mentioned, our site is a great place to learn, get advice, make real lasting friendships, or just blow off some steam (in a nice way😉). Hope to see you around.

 

Warmest Regards,

Susan R🌷

Thank you Susan! I know in my heart it’s something I have to do..also I visited your page and read your achievements…all I can say is how sorry I am that COVID keeps deferring your Stage 2 GRS…Hopefully 2022 will be the year! 

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  • Forum Moderator

Hi Lauren,

Welcome to Transpulse. I'm glad you're here!

 

Lots of love and a big welcome hug,

Timber Wolf🐾

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18 minutes ago, Timber Wolf said:

Hi Lauren,

Welcome to Transpulse. I'm glad you're here!

 

Lots of love and a big welcome hug,

Timber Wolf🐾

Thank you so much!

 

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Hi Lauren

Welcome to TP. I am a fairly new member and I am 64 and have been on HRT now for 5 months, the best decision I have ever made. You will find here great discussions and lots of great answers to question you may have. 

 

Hugs 

Billie

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