Hello all you happy people.

[helena]

Quoting Droopy allow me to introduce myself:

 

I'm Helena, an early mid-aged trans woman from next door to north pole. I've been reading posts here and articles there and it seems my story is somewhat typical for a trans woman of my age. Girly stuff when I was a child. Some more girly stuff at puberty, in confined spaces of course. After that a couple decades of denial.

Last year it became the end of the line for the guy I tried to be and entering the woman I am. I've begun the process and hope to start HRT and all the other physicals some time next year. The plan is to go all the way.

 

At the time of writing this I'm out only to my spouse. I present female everywhere except at the office and when visiting relatives. I've slowly come to accept myself, but still too afraid to be myself everywhere and all the time.

 

Being trans truly teaches you patience...

 

I'm so glad I found this place (A big warm hug to you Jackie Rabbit!). Your posts and stories makes me feel less alone!

 

-Helena

[Betty K]

Hi Helena, welcome to TransPulse. It's nice to meet you.

 

I am 48 and I can certainly relate to decades of denial, and to reaching the end of the line for the guy you tried to be. I too reached that point last year. I'm not sure if I plan to go all the way though, we'll see. Let's just say I plan to make some changes and see what happens from there.

 

You are certainly right about the patience part. For me the problem is money. I worry I may learn an awful lot about patience by the time I get to where I want to be.

 

I am fascinated with countries near the north pole, especially when they have hot springs -- how delicious! I went to Iceland a few years back and enjoyed it immensely.

 

Anyway I hope to see you around the forums.

 

x Betty

[Charlize]

Welcome northern neighbor.  I'm glad you found us.  

  As you might imagine your story is similar to mine except that you are getting an earlier start.  I remember how hard it was to make those final steps to coming out.  My family was perhaps the hardest and as expected reactions were varied.  In time they have accepted.....perhaps as they had no choice.  Living as myself was simply more important to me that their approval. 

  Enjoy your time here in the understanding that you are not alone.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

 

[Timber Wolf]

Hi Helena,

Welcome to Transpulse. I'm glad you're here!

 

Lots of love and a big welcome hug,

Timber Wolf🐾

[Delcina B]

Welcome Helena! Glad you're here. Yes, a lot of denial & self hate in the past for me. Here I found loving support, advice & acceptance, & hope you do too.

 

Hugs!

Delcina

[Hanna]

Hi Helena!

 

Nice to meet a fellow Finn! I lived in denial for decades too, or actually I didn't know who I was until recently when I found the reason of my dysphoria. My marriage turned sour when I found my true identity and my wife moved out on New Year's Day. What a way to start a new year. Anyway, I enjoy the freedom now and I try to find harmony in my everyday life.

 

Hugs from Hanna

[Mmindy]

Hey there Helena,

 

Welcome to TransPulseForums, I'm sure you will find the folks here very welcoming and thoughtful as you post questions or add to another conversations.

 

Best wishes, stay positive, and safe,

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

[Vidanjali]

Hi & welcome @helena ! I'm glad you're here and that you're pursuing your truth. 

 

I was in Helsinki airport once on my way to St. Petersburg. Then, I had a nice view of Finland from Peterhof Palace. I'm also fascinated to learn more about the Finnish language which I've heard is one of the least gendered languages. I read some trans nonbinary people throughout Europe are adopting the pronoun, hän. 

 

Cheers to you & see you around TP! 

[helena]

Thanks for your kind and supportive greets!

 

On 1/5/2022 at 11:06 AM, Betty K said:

I am fascinated with countries near the north pole, especially when they have hot springs -- how delicious! I went to Iceland a few years back and enjoyed it immensely.

Great to hear from you! No hot springs here, but ice hole swimming is as much fun 🥶

 

@Charlize @Timber Wolf @Delcina B @Mmindy Thank you! Nice to hear from you. Hugs!

 

16 hours ago, Hanna said:

Nice to meet a fellow Finn! I lived in denial for decades too, or actually I didn't know who I was until recently when I found the reason of my dysphoria. My marriage turned sour when I found my true identity and my wife moved out on New Year's Day. What a way to start a new year. Anyway, I enjoy the freedom now and I try to find harmony in my everyday life.

Hi Hanna! Nice to meet you too. I'm so sorry to hear about your marriage. This seems to be one of the biggest tragedies of being trans. You meet someone, fall in love, get married and after couple of decades in denial you finally crack. Being trans is no ones fault, but still the blame gets pinned on you. Like we should have known better how to deal our transness.

Good to hear you're accepting yourself and I wish you happy new year even if the start is grim. Hugs!

 

4 hours ago, Vidanjali said:

I'm also fascinated to learn more about the Finnish language which I've heard is one of the least gendered languages. I read some trans nonbinary people throughout Europe are adopting the pronoun, hän. 

Thanks! Nice to hear from you and nice to know finnish language has something to give to the world 😄

[GraceH]

Welcome Helena,

 

On 1/5/2022 at 12:37 AM, helena said:

Being trans truly teaches you patience...

 

I suspect the only thing that everyone here can agree on is that it's a long long road.  It's really comforting to have a place like this to visit from time to time to restore your sanity and emotional equilibrium.  I hope it helps you on your journey.

 

Not everybody had the girly childhood experience, although my mom and grands were Jedi masters and might have mind-controlled me out of it without me noticing.  It takes a long time when you suspect that you aren't cis-male and then ... a long time after that when you know that you are not.  :)

 

Grace