Clarification on a possible slur?

[Ticket For Epic]

I recently heard that hun/honey is a derogatory slur that suggests the recipient will never "pass".  That can't be right... can it? 

[Carolyn Marie]

I've never heard that "term of endearment" to be considered a slur, whether aimed towards a trans person or a cis-person..  I've never seen it used that way in anything I've read or heard.  But I suppose anything is possible.

 

Carolyn Marie

[Ticket For Epic]

I'd hate to have to drop that from my vocabulary.  Don't get me wrong, I would to keep from offending anyone but it would be disappointing.   I heard this from someone in their mid 20's, so perhaps it's newish in the younger crowd or perhaps just their local area.  Thanks for your feedback.

[Heather Nicole]

That's kind of new to me too, the idea of "hun/honey" being a derogatory thing (I date back to the 1980's, FWIW, so I guess that makes me relatively old).

 

To me personally, it sounds like the kind of thing that's not so much about "what" someone says, and more about "how" they say it. I mean, I can certainly imagine "hun/honey" being used in a derogatory way, but I've never known it to be inherently derogatory. But that's just me. Maybe it could a regional thing?

[VickySGV]

OK, so in California we have our own language, but I use the two terms quite often with no offense to the people I know, and they would tell me.  I would not like to hear it from a person using it to talk down to me but that is the exception and not the rule thankfully.  Be sure your use is to lift the  person up and not belittle them or talk down to them. 

[Jackie C.]

I guess it could be in how you say it? You can make anything derogatory if you care enough and southern women are absolute champions of that particular trick but... I'm honestly not neurotypical enough to get subtle barbs like that unless you're REALLY obvious about it so I'll just keep skipping through my day.

 

Hugs!

[Charlize]

I certainly hope they aren't derogatory!  Between those and "dear" i'll loose 1/2 of my vocabulary.

Thanks honey dear

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[Vidanjali]

Weird. I just searched "hon trans slur" and apparently it's a thing. I didn't look too deep into the origins - apparently it started within video game and meme culture - so yeah, youngins. But, from what I understand, it's used as a labeling-type noun usually to denote a slur such as "she's such a hon" or the like; although I also found memes warning about calling trans women "hon" in general. (I suspect that ironically psa memes help to spread free suggested usage.) My gut feeling: SO STOOPID. How can we turn a very common term of endearment into a slur? I'm not a trans woman, so I'm not likely to question anyone's motive who calls me hon, but I hope this nonsense doesn't make women feel paranoid when someone does. I hope that anytime any trans person encounters an instance of doubt, that it will be transformed into an opportunity to practice courage (and practice makes better...lol, no one's perfect). AND I pray for all our safety. 

[Carolyn Marie]

I call my wife "hon" and "honey," and vice versa, every danged day, and I'm not about to let some meme culture tell us not to.  Ridiculous!

[tracy_j]

There are ways of saying things which changes their meaning for almost any word, if not all.

 

For instance, here in the UK saying 'Hi honey!' in a forced hight pitched american accent is a jokey take of the US - not intentionally deragatory to the subject or the US although some may obviously take it as such. It is still a term of endearment when applied to a partner unless the context says otherwise.

 

It's a complex world!

 

Tracy

[Artpetal]

I live on the East Coast (specifically the South) and I have never heard of this before