Adventures in Gender dysphoria and the DSM-V

[Guest]

     So, for my latest session with my therapist, he decided it would be advantageous to go over the criteria for gender dysphoria as it relates to myself. Interestedly he stated with the criteria for children. After reading a symptom, I'd answer if I had experienced that as a child. With the exception of dressing up, I had all of them. I wasn't really surprised by this at all.

 

     We moved on to the criteria for adults. More or less the same outcome with a few caveats. I did in fact fantasize about having a vagina and wished I had one. Oddly, I never really gave much thought about breasts. Something I had never realized  before. A bit odd, but hardly a deal breaker. When it came to distress from secondary characteristics for my assigned gender as a teen, I said I didn't really have too much as I didn't really grow body hair until my mid to late twenties and didn't have a large penis. I was however upset when my shoulders broadened a bit in my med twenties. I was always obsessed with my weight and developed an eating disorder in my late teens. It became hard in my thirties as facial hair became more prominent and body hair in my forties just went out of control. I assume due to the testosterone I was put on. 

   

     Anyway, he said I had pretty much all of the symptoms of dysphoria and asked why I kept going back and forth. I said probably because I'm a bit clueless about how I feel in general, never mind about the deep issues of identity. We ended with him saying to stop acting to make others feel better and be yourself. Anyone else has/had this in their coming to terms with Gender dysphoria?

 

[Charlize]

My gender therapist also helped me deal with that issue of pleasing others as i denied myself.  I think for many that is one of the hardest part of transition.  Therapy and support at an early age would have helped.  Unfortunately when i was a child that was impossible and even today it is not as available as it could be.  Hopefully time can help those following us.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[stveee]

Seems to be a common theme:

 

1. Asking the questions

2. Seeking the truth.

3. Getting the answers.

4. Accepting the truth.

5. Living the truth.

[KayC]

19 hours ago, Jamie73 said:

stop acting to make others feel better and be yourself. Anyone else has/had this in their coming to terms with Gender dysphoria?

Yep!  That's me 🙂  Your therapist (and mine told me the same thing) is correct, but I have found it much easier to agree with that assessment than to actually put it into practice.  I think we (specially us "late bloomers") have spent our entire lives trying to "fit in" to the expectations of our society and relationships. 

But, I have confidence ... over time ... that we can move in that direction and eventually end up where we "belong" (both physically and emotionally).

 

Deep breaths ... one step at a time❣️

[Gabriel]

On 2/17/2022 at 5:55 PM, Jamie73 said:

to stop acting to make others feel better and be yourself. Anyone else has/had this in their coming to terms with Gender dysphoria?

 

Absolutely. Still dealing with that even after accepting my transness. After 40+ years conforming to expectations it is extremely hard to drop the ball. And then when I am with family and old friends I switch back to old mental pathways and come out confused again. The difference now is that I know that happens, I know why it happens, I know it is normal - so I can come back to myself way easier and without allowing doubt to drown me.

A thought that also helps me is: "Do I want them to respect me by being what they want me to be? or Do I want to respect myself by being what I am?"