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Advice maybe?


Roxiee

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Well, hi? 

I am born female, but recently I've wanted to be male ( is that even possible)? But, I know I don't want my breasts anymore, so I'm wondering if a binder would help? Until I get top surgery... advice please

Edited by Jani
fix word per OP.
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Roxiee a binder can help but be careful about wearing one that is too tight as they can be dangerous to your health.  

 

Jani

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1 minute ago, Jani said:

Roxiee a binder can help but be careful about wearing one that is too tight as they can be dangerous to your health.  

 

Jani

Yeah, I'm gonna look into it before as I've just seen others talk about it

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2 hours ago, DeeDee said:

Hi Roxiee, when my youngest started looking at binders we got theirs from this supplier. They not only have a good selection and reputation, but also very clear advice about safety and maintenance.  https://spectrumoutfitters.co.uk/

Hope it helpse!

Hey, thanks!

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It’s definitely possible to be assigned female at birth (AFAB is the acronym for that which you’ll often see used), yet feel male - trust me on that! 
 

I’ve been wary of binding because I know there are safety concerns; so far what’s helping me is a snug sports bra which feels much less feminine than the bras I used to wear, and gives me a flatter look with less movement when I’m active. That’s working for me so far, though down the track I do want to look into binding and eventually top surgery so that I can reduce or eliminate the dysphoria I feel around my chest. 

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Hi @Roxiee . I am not a fan of the breasts that showed up on my body either. I haven't tried binding because of some medical challenges I have. (I could easily injure myself getting in and out of a binder & I could easily dislocate a rib by constricting the chest, plus a tight feeling about the chest makes me feel panicky sometimes.) But, I stopped wearing a bra a couple years ago and have never looked back. My bra size was between a C and D, so there's some considerable bulk up top, especially in proportion to the rest of my body which is relatively small. But, I've been adapting my wardrobe to deemphasize my chest. I wear form fitting athletic tanks as undershirts to obscure and keep things relatively under control, and wear tops that are not tailored for breasts (e.g. tops without darts sewn in). Darker color tops and strategic patterns help too. But, the breasts are still there. But, at least I've found some ways to dress to feel better about how I present to the world. I hope you find something that makes you feel joyful about yourself. 

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11 hours ago, Vidanjali said:

I hope you find something that makes you feel joyful about yourself. 

That’s really the main thing, isn’t it? Finding that combination - whatever it is for you - that makes you happy and comfortable in your own skin. I’m not 100% there yet, but I’m definitely getting there. Every week, the small changes I’m making add up, and increasingly I feel happy when I open my wardrobe door and think about what I might wear that day. That doesn’t eliminate the chestiness that bothers me, of course, but I feel better in a sports bra (no more falling straps or scratchy lacy nonsense!) and geeky t-shirt than I ever did in a ‘normal’ bra and a top from the women’s side of the store. 
 

I guess what I’m trying to say is that it doesn’t have to be all or nothing; you don’t have to have top surgery to feel at home in your body. That might be an end goal for you (it certainly still is for me), but there are lots of little things to try in the interim. 

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13 hours ago, HarryT said:

That’s really the main thing, isn’t it? Finding that combination - whatever it is for you - that makes you happy and comfortable in your own skin. I’m not 100% there yet, but I’m definitely getting there. Every week, the small changes I’m making add up, and increasingly I feel happy when I open my wardrobe door and think about what I might wear that day. That doesn’t eliminate the chestiness that bothers me, of course, but I feel better in a sports bra (no more falling straps or scratchy lacy nonsense!) and geeky t-shirt than I ever did in a ‘normal’ bra and a top from the women’s side of the store. 
 

I guess what I’m trying to say is that it doesn’t have to be all or nothing; you don’t have to have top surgery to feel at home in your body. That might be an end goal for you (it certainly still is for me), but there are lots of little things to try in the interim. 

I think I do want top surgery, but I haven't fully looked into what options I have! But, thank you for taking time to respond, hugs!

 

On 2/27/2022 at 8:06 PM, Vidanjali said:

Hi @Roxiee . I am not a fan of the breasts that showed up on my body either. I haven't tried binding because of some medical challenges I have. (I could easily injure myself getting in and out of a binder & I could easily dislocate a rib by constricting the chest, plus a tight feeling about the chest makes me feel panicky sometimes.) But, I stopped wearing a bra a couple years ago and have never looked back. My bra size was between a C and D, so there's some considerable bulk up top, especially in proportion to the rest of my body which is relatively small. But, I've been adapting my wardrobe to deemphasize my chest. I wear form fitting athletic tanks as undershirts to obscure and keep things relatively under control, and wear tops that are not tailored for breasts (e.g. tops without darts sewn in). Darker color tops and strategic patterns help too. But, the breasts are still there. But, at least I've found some ways to dress to feel better about how I present to the world. I hope you find something that makes you feel joyful about yourself. 

Thank you for supporting me, means a lot! Hugs

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