How do I dress and present more feminine

[Erin Elizabeth]

I have just had another talk with my wife last night, and she has come a long way in showing acceptance of my Trans gender status. We went over some ground rules and made some compromises. To me this is a huge step for her. She even helped me in tune a name that clicked with me. Also we discussed female clothing, but are unsure of what I can wear now before transition so as not to accidentally come out to her sister before we are ready. 

 

Please send any ideas my way if you have any so I can figure out where to begin with women's clothes. 

 

Erin

[VickySGV]

Actually, Transition is a whole  long line of steps, not a one and done experience.  You are starting Transition NOW and it is yours to do.  No wig or skirt needed in your steps for a while yet. Name change and full time presentation are one step only and not the end. 

 

Of course there is the strictly "in house" stuff, such as nighties and shower robes, those are a start.  Underwear of course and that is no ones business but your own, just keep your panties separate from your wife's. 

For outer clothing, gender neutral tops in brighter colors and patterns will get the ball rolling, and places like Lane Bryant have denim pants that it takes a person to look in the wrong places to see have their label on them.  Get some oversized "Band" T shirts, and wear them untucked, outside your belt as your wife does will turn them feminine, but not obviously "in your face" to your feared relative you are waiting to come out to.  All of that is a start. 

[Astrid]

• If you want to start slowly, you can more feminine-appearing men's fashion, such as floral-patterned shirts.
• Women's underclothes are a great way to start, also:  camisoles, undies, and socks.
• For more visible items of women's clothes, find store(s) where you can try on lots of brands, styles, and different sizes and see what fits you best and how they look in the changing room mirror.  Sizes that fit is a whole topic in itself, so be prepared to try a bunch.  Women's jeans are a great place to start.
• Have fun with shopping itself; you don't always have to buy something. Browse in windows for ideas, start to feel comfortable looking over clearance racks and visiting used clothing stores.

Have fun!

 

Astrid

[Erin Elizabeth]

Ty soooo much for the advice, I know that this journey is just starting for me. And I am not trying to rush things, it juts that I feel so awakened and and me and wish to take a few small steps to alleviate some of the dysphoria while I'm on the waiting list for the therapist in my area that I will be seeing. I don't want to over do it, that is why I asked, although I my not have worded my post as well as I had thought. Thank you @VickySGV and @Astrid for the advice and kind words of encouragement. 

 

Erin

[Jani]

Look what other women your age and size are wearing and emulate them (if appropriate). I have sisters that are very good at dressing nice, whether it be daily wear or for something special.  

 

Jani

[Erin Elizabeth]

Thanks for that bit of advice @Jani, but if I am going to go to that extent I am going to have to wait till I start HRT and start getting my chest. Definitely love the idea though. I have always wanted to see how comfortable yoga pants would be.

[Astrid]

11 minutes ago, Erin Elizabeth said:

Thanks for that bit of advice @Jani, but if I am going to go to that extent I am going to have to wait till I start HRT and start getting my chest. Definitely love the idea though. I have always wanted to see how comfortable yoga pants would be.

 It's entirely up to you as to when you start changing your dress and how you develop a style that feels right for you (which will likely evolve over time).  For example, I came out to my spouse in May, 2018, and started HRT in December, 2019. During those 19 months, I did a fair amount of  clothes shopping, almost all of it in the women's department.  And, like many folks here, I purchased several bras in different styles before HRT and padded them.  I since have found what I like and what works for me, how to emphasize or deemphasize my boobs depending on the occasion, etc.  

 

Oh, and yoga pants are fabulous.  Don't wait.  You can always wear them around the house or under slacks in the wintertime. 😀

[KymmieL]

I have worn panties for years even before realized that I was actually a woman. As of now I wear woman jeans 99.9% of people in general have no clue that you are wearing something other than a male piece of clothing. 99.99999999% don't care.

 

Kymmie