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Partner Of A Cross Dresser


Guest velma

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Guest velma

Hiya all, I hope I'm in the right place for some advice and help.

I've been with my partner for some time now and when we were in our very early stages of dating he was completely honest with me and told me about his CDing. He had been very couragous and has even told his family, that is another story completely but quiet a positive one :)

I'll save the all details for the correct place/the right forum (bcos this would be a book otherwise) but in short, at the moment my other half is not CDing to any extent on his own, as a couple we are including some things that we both like and enjoy in our sex life, which is brilliant for both of us :D but who know what the future holds and things might change in my other half's mind etc. We do talk about it, we are very open and honest with each other but in my head there are various thoughts and questions that I want to investigate etc

Basically, I'm here as a very supportive, open minded partner, who loves her other half with all of her heart, and I need to find someone to talk to about all of this and hopefully find out if there is anyone out there who has experience of similar circumstances or anyone who I can get advice from.

Thank you

Vel

:mellow:

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Guest joe0117

Hi Velma!

Welcome to the Playground! It is always wonderful to a supportive, loving individual like yourself arrive here. Look around, there are wonderful and knowledgable people here. I'm sure you will be able to find the information and support you are looking for.

Joe

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Guest Leigh

welcome to the playground. i'm sure that someone here can help answer some of your questions (unfortunately not me)

just wanted to say, look around, you'll find great people who are only here to help.

peace&love

leigh

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Guest velma
Hi Velma!

Welcome to the Playground! It is always wonderful to a supportive, loving individual like yourself arrive here. Look around, there are wonderful and knowledgable people here. I'm sure you will be able to find the information and support you are looking for.

Joe

Wow that was quick, thank you Joe

Life is to short to be judgemental and stigmatise, I've had that happen to me in the past and I will not do it to others.

Plus if you ignore people just because they are different we'll never learn anything!!! :rolleyes:

Thanks again Joe

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Guest joe0117

Your Welcome Velma!

It is my pleasure to welcome you! Laura's is the friendliest place on Earth! It was very rude of me not to invite you to sit down and offer you something to eat. The wondeful ladies of Laura's usually do pastry patrol butI'll see what I can do. You would think that I could boil water for cocoa - I know there is a kettle here somewhere? How about lemonade - I can stir! Here kick up your heels and have a cold glass of lemonade - fresh sqeezed - it said so on the package :P There are always cookies in the members lounge - so help yourself. Others will be along soon! It really is a great place and I am happy you are here. We need more supporter like you in the world!

Joe

make that chef joe

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Guest velma
welcome to the playground. i'm sure that someone here can help answer some of your questions (unfortunately not me)

just wanted to say, look around, you'll find great people who are only here to help.

peace&love

leigh

Thank you Leigh

Brilliant for you to say hi

:D

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Guest velma
Hi Vel,

Welcome to the forums

Your partner is very lucky to have your love and support. :D

Rachael

Thank you Rachael,

Everyone has their own limits, and at this moment I have not reached mine and I think that is my concern, I'm not sure how our journey will progress?? I know its all about communication and the both of us feeling comfortable?!?!

Whats your story? Would you mind telling me about yourself?

Vel :D

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Guest ~Nikki~

Hi Vel, and welcome,

I am trying to figure "what" I am right now. I have been in therapy for several months about this. I am a mtf I don't know cross dresser/transsexual...

My beautiful supportive wife of 12 years just found out a couple weeks ago. I think she can understand where you are coming from. She has so many of the same questions. Her biggest fear is one day she will wake up and I will be gone living my life as a female somewhere, with out her in my life. I dint think I want srs, I am really happy with my wife, but I do enjoy so much of women get to enjoy. Deep in my heart I am a woman, but I believe I will always be male.

If you would ever like to talk with me, add me to your frinds and we can talk in private and my wife may even talk with you. She really is an amazing woman, I really envy her. She is my rock, my foundatiion. She holds me together. Sounds to me like you partner is a very lucky person. Not too many of us have suppotive other halves. Please just embrass your partner, this will make him more comfortable and relaxed and able to stay opened up to you. My wife and are now closer than the day we married, I thought when I came out to her, she would hate and push me away, she proved to me everything in our marriage vows was truth and she meant it. I love her with all my heart.

As I said, if you wish to contact me, I am more than willing to talk, and I bet my wife would too.

Your new friend,

Nikki

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Guest velma
Hi Vel, and welcome,

I am trying to figure "what" I am right now. I have been in therapy for several months about this. I am a mtf I don't know cross dresser/transsexual...

My beautiful supportive wife of 12 years just found out a couple weeks ago. I think she can understand where you are coming from. She has so many of the same questions. Her biggest fear is one day she will wake up and I will be gone living my life as a female somewhere, with out her in my life. I dint think I want srs, I am really happy with my wife, but I do enjoy so much of women get to enjoy. Deep in my heart I am a woman, but I believe I will always be male.

If you would ever like to talk with me, add me to your frinds and we can talk in private and my wife may even talk with you. She really is an amazing woman, I really envy her. She is my rock, my foundatiion. She holds me together. Sounds to me like you partner is a very lucky person. Not too many of us have suppotive other halves. Please just embrass your partner, this will make him more comfortable and relaxed and able to stay opened up to you. My wife and are now closer than the day we married, I thought when I came out to her, she would hate and push me away, she proved to me everything in our marriage vows was truth and she meant it. I love her with all my heart.

As I said, if you wish to contact me, I am more than willing to talk, and I bet my wife would too.

Your new friend,

Nikki

Hiya Nikki

Thank you very much for your reply, its good to hear from you.

It sounds as if the last few weeks have been quite hard for both you and your wife. I can indeed relate to her having so many questions. I think the biggest thing that will help you both is if you can get to grips with who you are and the job of being happy with who you are........don't get me wrong I can completely understand how hard that is and that gaining that will take a hell of a lot of work and alot of self analysis. Me and my partner have spent alot of time talking about the whole transgender issues (we have a friend who is MTF) and can understand how confusing it can be for all involved. I really hope you make progress with your therapy and you get to have some peace in your own mind.

It sounds as if you love your wife very much.....can I ask....what was her reaction when you told her the truth?

How is she now that she has had a few weeks to think about it all?

I am so grateful that my partner was honest with me from the beginning, it was the right start for us but it has taken some adjusting to in my own mind, and as I have mentioned I have many questions. Some of which I will speak to my other half about some I need to find the answers to myself as they are for me. Being supportive and loving was something that was not questioned as I love him very very much and have a willing mind, the more I become aware of this community (I hope that is an ok term to use!?!) the more I hear about partners/friends/family not being supportive and not being a support and help to the person they are supposed to care for?

I can completely understand that it might be a hard issue to get to grips for some but I have heard many stories of people just being abandoned for being their 'real' self. This is something that happens to many people, whether its because of gender, sexual orientation, mental health status etc and becasue it happens to so many people that is why I want to help (I'm training to be a therapist/counsellor).

It would be great to keep in touch and talk to you and your wife, i have added you as a friend. I have tried to send a message to you but at the moment I am unable to do so.......i think its becasue I am a very new member????? At the moment though, if you wish to mail me in another forum, let me know which one is better for our type of conversations and then hopefully I can send you a message soon.

Thank you again for your response

Your new Friend, Vel

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Guest rachael1
Thank you Rachael,

Everyone has their own limits, and at this moment I have not reached mine and I think that is my concern, I'm not sure how our journey will progress?? I know its all about communication and the both of us feeling comfortable?!?!

Whats your story? Would you mind telling me about yourself?

Vel :D

Hi Vel,

My story is similar to a lot of the other wonderful people on this site.

My earliest childhood memories involved my wishing i'd been born a girl or wake up magically transformed one morning. :D

I would dress in my mothers or sister's clothes and imagine I was a real girl and would feel complete. My dressing stopped in my early teens and I suppressed my feelings for many years apart from the ocassional fancy dress party etc. :)

I am now 45 and have been married to my wonderful wife for 16 years and have a beautiful 8 year old daughter. :D

About 18 months ago my life turned around following a traumatic incident and the urge to express my feminine side began to manifest itself again. :P

Sometimes the desire to let Rachael run free has been over-whelming and I don't feel happy until I can express myself as her.

I came out to my wife about a year ago and to say she wasn't happy is an understatement! We were both miserable for serveral months. :o

I have come to terms with my identity and am happy with where I am at the moment, I classify myself as a crossdresser as due to my circumstances I am unable to transition. If I could go back in time to when I was around 18 or so I have no doubt I would transition fully into a woman, perhaps that makes me a transexual? Anyway I hate labels, and i know who i am - Rachael :)

Since coming out to my wife she has gradually come to accept who I am, she is a bit hot and cold on the idea of me being transgendered. We have gone shopping for makeup and shoes together and has bought clothes for me, yet on other days won't talk to me about it or allow me to dress. Sometimes she has commented that she wishes I had never told her and kept her blissfully unaware. The good news is she is becoming more accepting each day and allows me more freedom to be Rachael. She loves me and supports me but unfortunately can't bring herself to call me Rachael when we are along together.

Obviously there is more work for me to do there, but I don't want to push my luck too far. :D

Please feel free to PM me if you wish to talk.

LOL Rachael. :)

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  • Admin

Welcome to Laura's, Velma. We are really glad you chose to support your partner by learning more about the TG

community. This is a wonderful place to do just that.

As my friends have so eloquently mentioned, support of the partner is so critically important, and makes life, and

transitioning (if applicable) so much more bearable and less stressful. Your open and honest relationship with

your partner is something to be admired. I am afraid that would not be the case in my situation.

Please explore the forum posts, both current and archived, ask questions, and make friends.

We're all here to help and support each other. You are a most welcome addition to this exclusive club.

Carolyn Marie

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Guest Donna Jean

Hello, Vel............

As usual, I'm draggin' up the rear....

I'm Donna Jean and I am a MTF transsexual....59 years old and in transition.

I came out to my wife last year and I felt just awful doing it to her, having been married 30 years.....

But after the initial shock wore off ...she supports me and loves me. We'll stay together..(She says that we're BOTH too old for a boyfriend!)

It's truly the hardest on the partner because the one coming out has freed up their soul while loading the other down with it...But it can and does work...

all the time...it becomes a "Non traditional" realtionship, but who says what is normal? As long as there is love ...what else matters?

I mean when love is there other things pale by comparison....how about a spouse that was in a terrible accident or disfigured in war? Would a loving spouse abandon them because of their physical problems?.........Not really....

Love conquers all, I think.....

Thank you for being loving and caring enough to want to know more....

You're a peach!

Donna Jean

Link to comment

Yep- you're in the right place. We love to have inquisitive, open-minded people and help them with any questions they may have. I think that's really what almost all of us came here for- to learn. We may have had different objectives in mind, but the main thing is that we all came here in search of knowledge and understanding.

I think that it's great that you are supportive of your partner- I am a male-to-female transgendered person and I have a very supportive boyfriend, and it's the most amazing thing in the world to have someone who is supportive of the real me and sees me for who I am. I don't know how often your partner thanks you for your kindness and understanding, but know that he must feel it. I for one know that I am extremely grateful to my bf for all the love and support he's given me.

I hope you find all the answers and responses you are looking for here and that you enjoy your stay. Welcome to Laura's!

愛 Eth

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Guest Elizabeth K

WELCOME WELCOME WELCOME

Things here are a bit complicated right now - which you can review by looking at the new posts.

But anyway - a lot of good people have come to say hello. Support by a partner is so precious! Feel free to ask us anything - we will try to answer honestly and in detail.

Glad to met ya!

Lizzy

And I am married - and my wife is very accepting - whew

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Guest Ashlee

Hello Vel,

Welcome to Lauras!

Its so nice that you are a supportive partner. I can only dream of that.

I am in my mid 40's and have been a crossdresser most of my life. I have been married to my wonderful wife for over 20 years now. We have 2 grown boys. I did not 'come out' to my wife, I was caught. It wasn't good and was a very difficult time for us. She will never be supportive of my crossdressing, she thinks that I have quit. However, it has and will continue to be a part of my life and I have choosen to keep it in the closet. I love her and would not want to loose her.

We are not bad, strange or weird. We are loving people that just want to be loved and be allowed to express ourselves in a way that we feel is right for us. Continue your love for her and you both will be better for it.

{HUGS}

Ashlee

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Guest lisajayne

Hi Vel,

My partner is a CD too, and I have known for over 2 years. It has never bothered me in itself, and I have been to many events, clubs and even to a show whilst he was dressed. I believe I am his first partner that he has gone to this extent, and we both had lots of fun shopping, making up and taking pics which appears to be obilatory!

I also bought him a makeover and photo session for his birthday which we both really enjoyed, and have made some great friends through this. I am so proud that he feels comfortable and able to do this, and flattered that he felt comfortable to let me into his secret world. Ii feel very comfortable with his alter ego, and quite protective when we are out, bit like a bodyguard even in accepted areas!

The problem I find is that it's not my secret, and when having the odd relationship problem, where his CD occasionally has an impact, I have no one to talk to about it. None of my friends or family know, and I don't feel they need too. However, it does become difficult to talk to mates without giving anything away! I don't feel comfortable talking to him directly fro sevral reasons, but mainly becasu I don't wnat to put any pressure on.Do you have issues like this?

I am happy to chat to you or answer any quetions you may have. It would be nice to chat with someone in the same boat!

Anyhow, take care hun

Lisa x :rolleyes:

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Guest velma
Welcome to Laura's, Velma. We are really glad you chose to support your partner by learning more about the TG

community. This is a wonderful place to do just that.

As my friends have so eloquently mentioned, support of the partner is so critically important, and makes life, and

transitioning (if applicable) so much more bearable and less stressful. Your open and honest relationship with

your partner is something to be admired. I am afraid that would not be the case in my situation.

Please explore the forum posts, both current and archived, ask questions, and make friends.

We're all here to help and support each other. You are a most welcome addition to this exclusive club.

Carolyn Marie

thank you so much for making me feel so welcome.

Everyone who have been in contact with so far have been great, I really appreciat it.

A lack of understanding and support etc seems to be a common event in the TG world, you mention that your situation is like this?? Whats it been like for you?

LXL

Vel

XX

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Guest velma
Hello, Vel............

As usual, I'm draggin' up the rear....

I'm Donna Jean and I am a MTF transsexual....59 years old and in transition.

I came out to my wife last year and I felt just awful doing it to her, having been married 30 years.....

But after the initial shock wore off ...she supports me and loves me. We'll stay together..(She says that we're BOTH too old for a boyfriend!)

It's truly the hardest on the partner because the one coming out has freed up their soul while loading the other down with it...But it can and does work...

all the time...it becomes a "Non traditional" realtionship, but who says what is normal? As long as there is love ...what else matters?

I mean when love is there other things pale by comparison....how about a spouse that was in a terrible accident or disfigured in war? Would a loving spouse abandon them because of their physical problems?.........Not really....

Love conquers all, I think.....

Thank you for being loving and caring enough to want to know more....

You're a peach!

Donna Jean

hiya Donna Jean,

Thank you so much for replying to my post. WOW been married for 30 years, well done! that in this day and age is something to be congratulated on! :D

I was married and only managed 5 years, but was definatly not with the right person.

And your nearly 60 and finally being who you really want to be.......how hard has that been for you?

As you say, what is normal or traditional.....I crave not to be either of those things tehe!!

Sorry that I'm only just replying, we have been away for a few days to London (we had lots of fun & chilled).

Tell me how your wife is? Is she doing OK? Does she play a part in your life as Donna Jean?

As the Beatles said 'all you need is Love' :D It does sound easy but we all know that it is not, as you said your wife needed some time and needed to think things through, I am sure she still has things she wants to talk about etc but your definatly on the right road for happiness

I hope to hear from you soon.

Take very good care or yourself and your wife

Vel

XX

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Guest velma
Yep- you're in the right place. We love to have inquisitive, open-minded people and help them with any questions they may have. I think that's really what almost all of us came here for- to learn. We may have had different objectives in mind, but the main thing is that we all came here in search of knowledge and understanding.

I think that it's great that you are supportive of your partner- I am a male-to-female transgendered person and I have a very supportive boyfriend, and it's the most amazing thing in the world to have someone who is supportive of the real me and sees me for who I am. I don't know how often your partner thanks you for your kindness and understanding, but know that he must feel it. I for one know that I am extremely grateful to my bf for all the love and support he's given me.

I hope you find all the answers and responses you are looking for here and that you enjoy your stay. Welcome to Laura's!

愛 Eth

#

Hiya Eth

Brilliant to hear from you, thank you for taking the time to reply to my post.

I am pleased to hear that you have someone so supportive in your life, all too often I am hearing about how unsupportive the TG/CD world is and all because of a lack of understanding and very often jealousy! :D

How is life for you at the moment? What stage are you at in your transition?

(I hope you don't mind me asking :mellow: )

Hope to hear from you soon.

Take care

Vel

X

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Guest velma
Hello Vel,

Welcome to Lauras!

Its so nice that you are a supportive partner. I can only dream of that.

I am in my mid 40's and have been a crossdresser most of my life. I have been married to my wonderful wife for over 20 years now. We have 2 grown boys. I did not 'come out' to my wife, I was caught. It wasn't good and was a very difficult time for us. She will never be supportive of my crossdressing, she thinks that I have quit. However, it has and will continue to be a part of my life and I have choosen to keep it in the closet. I love her and would not want to loose her.

We are not bad, strange or weird. We are loving people that just want to be loved and be allowed to express ourselves in a way that we feel is right for us. Continue your love for her and you both will be better for it.

{HUGS}

Ashlee

Hey Ashlee,

Thank you for replying to my post.

I'm sorry that your wife is not able to support you with something that is so obviously a big part of you.

What do you think is her main reasons for not being comfortable with your CDing?

It must be hard to keep the fact that your still active with your CDing from her? It must be very confusing for you?

Do you think she will ever come around and allow you real closet space? :D

Please feel free to mail me.

Take care

Velma

XX

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Guest velma
Hi Vel,

My partner is a CD too, and I have known for over 2 years. It has never bothered me in itself, and I have been to many events, clubs and even to a show whilst he was dressed. I believe I am his first partner that he has gone to this extent, and we both had lots of fun shopping, making up and taking pics which appears to be obilatory!

I also bought him a makeover and photo session for his birthday which we both really enjoyed, and have made some great friends through this. I am so proud that he feels comfortable and able to do this, and flattered that he felt comfortable to let me into his secret world. Ii feel very comfortable with his alter ego, and quite protective when we are out, bit like a bodyguard even in accepted areas!

The problem I find is that it's not my secret, and when having the odd relationship problem, where his CD occasionally has an impact, I have no one to talk to about it. None of my friends or family know, and I don't feel they need too. However, it does become difficult to talk to mates without giving anything away! I don't feel comfortable talking to him directly fro sevral reasons, but mainly becasu I don't wnat to put any pressure on.Do you have issues like this?

I am happy to chat to you or answer any quetions you may have. It would be nice to chat with someone in the same boat!

Anyhow, take care hun

Lisa x :rolleyes:

hiya Lisa,

its great to hear from you.

I can definatly relate to what you have described. I feel isolated with this as I have no one to discuss this with, hence sign up to Laura's :D

At the moment my partner seems to be OK to express his needs and satisfy his CDing side with the things we do together but I am sure there will come a time when he will prob want to progress. He has no wish to go public, for a start there is not way he would be convincing (that is what he says) as he is very dark and very hairy tehe! but what he will want to do as part of our life is something that will only happen in time.

I feel the same as you as we do talk with openness and honesty about everything and anything but sometimes I would like to have someone else to talk to about it all........so yep, it would be great to talk more. Please feel free to Pmessage me and we can go from there but to start the ball rolling..........what are the things that you like about your situation and what things do you dislike?

Sorry that it has taken me a while to reply, we went away for a few days.

Hope to hear from you soon.

Take care

Velma

XX

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Welcome Velma,

I don't know why I haven't come by sooner to great you, well that isn't entirely true sometimes I have trouble dealing woth my failures and there are many.

And this is something that reminds me of my failed marriage.

I am really so very happy for you and the fact that you are so supportive but it does bring back a lot of painful memories.

I have to deal with that so I just want you to know how much I do appreciate all that you are doing for your partner, if only everyone would make the effort to learn.

Love ya,

Sally

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Guest velma
Welcome Velma,

I don't know why I haven't come by sooner to great you, well that isn't entirely true sometimes I have trouble dealing woth my failures and there are many.

And this is something that reminds me of my failed marriage.

I am really so very happy for you and the fact that you are so supportive but it does bring back a lot of painful memories.

I have to deal with that so I just want you to know how much I do appreciate all that you are doing for your partner, if only everyone would make the effort to learn.

Love ya,

Sally

Thank you so much for you lovely words Sally.

It sounds to me as if you have had some very hard times to deal with :mellow:

I really hope that your future is so much brighter, BTW I love the name Sally.......I have a sister called Sally who is lovely and if you are anything like her you will have only happy things to come.

Please feel free to keep in contact.

Take great care

Vel

XX

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      Regarding the candidates...this is the best either side could do since Obama was President? Biden is supportive, but when I see really solid gains, like ensuring that all transition services are covered by all insurance companies, I will believe the support.   I do not think anybody is trying to destroy the country, but with the current polarization, there is no compromise. There is this "you are either with us or against us" mantra being touted. We can moan all we want about Trump and his ilk, but face it: They are very well coordinated on a national level. They currently have a number of states with a super-majority.   What set all of this in motion? I suspect that there is a lot of things that got under the skin of a lot of conservative folks. Some of it our own fault, and some of it not. Make no mistake, we are in trouble. If they successfully ban child and adolescent transition nationally, I suspect we will be next. Now they may not pass a law, but if they eliminate the requirement that insurance companies cover the costs of medications, procedures, and surgeries, there will be fewer folks transitioning. The services may still be available, but it will be a cash only business. There are already a fair number of healthcare providers who will not accept the insurance reimbursement rates. There are a number of folks that will lack the resources. That is how you limit our existence. We will still exist, but it will get much harder.
    • JenniferB
      I talked to my doctor about this. And I was frank. He told me I was in a grey area, and I agree. I scored a 3, but alcohol has not controlled my life. I won't drink when I have obligations. But, when I can relax, I drink sometimes. I can control it. I intentionally don't buy alcohol before I go to work at the hospital. When I get off work I can't buy it. And this is by design.    Do I have an alcohol problem? Yes. Can I control it? Yes. Does AA help? Yes. But I consider myself a borderline alcoholic. And yes I'd love to stop and AA works for this. I found I don't need the 12 steps, attending is enough to stop the craving.
    • Carolyn Marie
      If the Dems can hold onto the Senate and flip the House, I feel certain that a lot of protections that have been given via Presidential orders will be codified into law.  It's a long shot, I know, but well worth fighting for.   Carolyn Marie
    • Ladypcnj
      Biden is trying to help us, but it's the republicans who wants to roll back our civil rights. 
    • Carolyn Marie
      Nice to see you back here, Jenn.    You were a great contributor to this forum, and i know you have much to offer.   HUGS   Carolyn Marie
    • Ivy
      I don't have the reference at hand, but at a rally (I believe) here in NC, he remarked at how surprised he was at the hate he could stir up by mentioning trans people. Since all he personally stands for is Trump, I doubt that he personally gives a rat's a$$ about us.  But, it plays to his base.   Here's one https://www.yahoo.com/news/trump-checks-crowd-over-crazy-063513389.html   "“I talk about transgender, everyone goes crazy. Who would have thought? Five years ago, you didn’t know what the hell it was.”"
    • Ivy
      Do you actually believe that the republican congress would vote for trans rights?  That seems to be the one thing left that they actually are united on.   I'm not convinced Biden is "destroying" the country.  I'm not a big fan, actually. However, since the stated goal of the Republican Party is my elimination (2025), I wouldn't be able to enjoy the coming conservative paradise anyway.  My survival as a free trans woman is kinda on the ballot.  So call me a "single issue   voter" it's out of necessity.   I stand by my original statement.  
    • Ladypcnj
      I'm sure I'm not the only one who think this way, I've been listening to what people had been recently saying, wondering why is he so hard on the Lgbt + community? Maybe there is something he's not telling? 
    • MaryEllen
      Welcome back, Jennifer. It's good to see you again.     {{{HUGS}}}   MaryEllen
    • JenniferB
      I am concerned about what Trump will do to the transgender community. One group of his supporters are evangelical Christians. I want to emphasize that not all of these Christians are non-supportive, but there are a lot. When you add that transgender people are being singled out as a punching bag for many politicians, our lives become more in jeopardy. We need to stand up and fight back. We have a right to the same freedoms as everyone else.
    • VickySGV
      Welcome back.
    • JenniferB
      My name is Jennifer, and used to be a part of this forum, going back to Laura's' Playground. I already know quite a few of the people here. I started transition about 15 years ago. My  gender markers are changed with Social Security and birth certificate. The reason I am returning is I believe I can help guide newer members through the pitfalls of their transitioning experience.   I lived in Arizona, and now live in Maine. And the first thing I want to emphasize is where you live can matter a lot. In Maine, I work in a hospital, and find many of my co-workers very accepting. I find the women more understanding and enjoy my journey more. Of course, this is a small sample, and your mileage may vary.    What I found as one of the most important topics when choosing a place to live. I found only one transgender doctor who understands, or is willing to monitor my HRT. But, he has stopped his regular practice and only sees some of his regular patients on Wednesday mornings. He has changed his career and teaches residents the rest of the week. He told me he wanted to teach other doctors how to work with transgender clients. This subject is woefully lacking in Medical School. I was using the transdermal patch, and we agreed to switch to estradiol valerate. He is working on more feminizing my body. I don't doubt he will be supportive when I decide to go through my surgery, hopefully next year. I will be on Medicare and they support surgery, if it is considered medically necessary.    That is enough for now, and I appreciate this site for all the help with transgender support.   Jennifer
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