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Any tips on passing as FtM but still dressing feminine?


Parker_23

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So I'm FtM, however I still love skirts and other feminine clothes. I keep getting misgendered, but I really can't blame them because it's difficult for me to look like a guy when I'm standing there wearing a skirt and blouse. The big problem is that when I try to ask that people use he/him for me, they look at me like I've sprouted an extra head. I don't know what to do, and this issue is really bringing me down. Anyone have any tips?

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Where I live, people see long hair and think female, short hair and think male. Also the skirt would be about as far as they'd look, probably. I understand about the gendering weird-looks, and I really hope that as people continue to share their preferred pronouns as a normal social thing, it will become more common and understood/acceptable to use pronouns which don't go with whatever societal norm people expect. In my case, long hair, and I like my feminine name. I do not intend to change it.

 

As for passing, sometimes outerwear gives a different cue--men's boots, jacket, etc. Accessories: big manly watch, whatever. If you wear glasses, get thick, dark, rectangular frames. Where I live, probably the best you'd get immediately, even if you had a full beard, would be hesitation to identify your gender, if you were in a skirt. Also it's okay to be  a cross-dressing guy, if it helps people understand, you can explain you identify as male but you love to cross-dress. Wear whatever you want.

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1 hour ago, DonkeySocks said:

Where I live, probably the best you'd get immediately, even if you had a full beard, would be hesitation to identify your gender, if you were in a skirt.

Yeah, here too.  A guy in a skirt and blouse is pretty rare.  I still had a beard when I first went out in a skirt.  But I got dysphoric pretty quickly and found a razor.

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  • 6 months later...

not long ago, i was having a kind of similar conversation with someone.

 

im ftm, recently come out, not on T yet, although i have my appointment date set. i have some people asking things like will i cut my long hair? i dont really have any intention of doing that, unless i need it a little shorter for work once i fully come out there, maybe.. ive always liked long hair, dont feel dysphoric about that, and im not particulatly big on dresses or skirts mostly, but i do sometimes think if i passed as a man in a dress later on, i might like that very much. 

 

i dont have much point or helpful suggestion here, im sorry... i do appreciate you posting because at least i feel im not alone in my feelings toward it. i thought id share that, at least. thank you and best wishes to you. 

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