What I plan to buy when I transition

[WillowA113]

I’m going to transition when I turn 18 and I made plans for the things I will buy! Here they are! 
I will do other things too. I will dye my hair white and get a long bob hairstyle. I will paint my nails purple. I will get my ears pierced. I will start wearing makeup. And of course I’ll start hrt asap. 
Before I will turn 18 I will also get my braces off and start wearing contacts. 
It’s all very expensive, but I calculated I’ll have $5-6k by the time I turn 18 so I should be fine. My boyfriend suggested to help me pay for it but I want to avoid taking his money at all costs. 

[Jackie C.]

You MIGHT want to re-think the forms. Once your breasts start coming in, those get REAL uncomfortable real fast.

 

Hugs!

[WillowA113]

12 minutes ago, Jackie C. said:

You MIGHT want to re-think the forms. Once your breasts start coming in, those get REAL uncomfortable real fast.

 

Hugs!

I plan on switching to padded bras once it grows enough. 

[MomTGDaughter]

Since you have a boyfriend and have yet to transition, are you in a same sex relationship? 

[WillowA113]

1 hour ago, MomTGDaughter said:

Since you have a boyfriend and have yet to transition, are you in a same sex relationship? 

Maybe same sex, but different gender. 
I don’t prefer to view us as a same sex couple because it makes me feel weird. That would imply both of us are boys even though one of us are. Not that I have anything against gay couples of course. If he were a girl I’d still be totally into him and that would make us a gay couple but we’re not. 
Thanks for the question, hope I helped! 😉

[MomTGDaughter]

21 hours ago, WillowA113 said:

Maybe same sex, but different gender. 
I don’t prefer to view us as a same sex couple because it makes me feel weird. That would imply both of us are boys even though one of us are. Not that I have anything against gay couples of course. If he were a girl I’d still be totally into him and that would make us a gay couple but we’re not. 
Thanks for the question, hope I helped! 😉

 

I am straight, it's actually my daughter is trans and also straight (she was born male, now living as a girl, she is attracted to boys).  For you, it's not a big deal because you in your mind are living in the opposite of you biological gender even though you have yet to transition. However your partner would either have to be gay or bi to be attracted to you since you are not appearing in the gender that would make your relationship straight. 

[WillowA113]

2 hours ago, MomTGDaughter said:

 

I am straight, it's actually my daughter is trans and also straight (she was born male, now living as a girl, she is attracted to boys).  For you, it's not a big deal because you in your mind are living in the opposite of you biological gender even though you have yet to transition. However your partner would either have to be gay or bi to be attracted to you since you are not appearing in the gender that would make your relationship straight. 

Yes I assumed it was your daughter. 
Well not exactly. Not that he is straight- he’s pansexual. But straight people do in fact have every right to be attracted to trans people. If you’re attracted to girls, you can be attracted to all girls including trans ones. It’s okay to not feel attraction to trans people but if you are attracted to one it’s still possible to be straight. 

[MomTGDaughter]

But you haven't transitioned yet, you are not making sense. 

[Jackie C.]

3 hours ago, MomTGDaughter said:

But you haven't transitioned yet, you are not making sense. 

 

Let me share a bit from a speaker. This is going to be HEAVILY paraphrased because it was back in March, she's a better speaker than I am and I didn't take notes, but it went something like this:

 

"I thought I was a lesbian. I never found any boys I liked until this one party where I found this guy and we just clicked. I'd never been attracted to a man before. It was incredible. This person was my everything. Skip forwards a few years, we have two kids, one of them is out and trans, and he's really happy with support from us to be all (blanking on the gender of their trans kid, one is NB, one is binary but I forget which way they went. Anyway...) they could be.

My husband was unhappy though. I asked him what was wrong and he came out as trans. It all clicked. The one "guy" I was attracted to wasn't a guy at all."

 

If you're curious, her husband transitioned and they lived happily ever after. At least so far.

 

So it's less about what's in your pants and how you present than it is about your personality and how it affects people. That's why we talk about more masculine and feminine women alongside more masculine and feminine men. What you put out into the world is what attracts people. For example, I'm very feminine and I've always had very feminine mannerisms. It happened again last night: I was out with five friends. Four of them were assigned female at birth. One is NB/transmasc, so we're not going to count him really but in that group, I'm definitely the most girly and that happens a LOT to me when I'm in a group with my female friends.

Regardless of how I'm dressed or what I may or may not have in my pants, my mannerisms and my personality scream "female." People who are attracted to women see that and, if they're interested, come my way.

 

I hope some of that makes sense.

 

Hugs!

[Marcie Jensen]

On 6/25/2022 at 5:03 PM, Jackie C. said:

You MIGHT want to re-think the forms. Once your breasts start coming in, those get REAL uncomfortable real fast.

 

Hugs!

AMEN! 

[christinakristy2021]

Bras, see through panties, more dresses, six inch pumps, etc.

[Jackie C.]

13 minutes ago, christinakristy2021 said:

Bras, see through panties, more dresses, six inch pumps, etc.

 

You know, it's funny... most of the time I don't wear a bra, I don't know what I'd even do with see-through panties, I rarely wear heels too (they're uncomfortable)... I'm still pretty happy with my results though.

 

Hugs!

[WillowA113]

I’m already 5’11. Too tall for my own good. No heels for me! 

[Jackie C.]

1 minute ago, WillowA113 said:

I’m already 5’11. Too tall for my own good. No heels for me! 

 

Actually, so am I but let me counter with: Tall women.

 

Hugs!

[WillowA113]

Just now, Jackie C. said:

 

Actually, so am I but let me counter with: Tall women.

 

Hugs!

Let me counter with: I don’t want to be freakishly tall 😆 

[Jackie C.]

1 minute ago, WillowA113 said:

Let me counter with: I don’t want to be freakishly tall 😆 

 

Fair, but I know cis-women that are taller than we are. 5'11" is less freakish than you think, but I get it. I have some height dysphoria too.

 

Hugs!

[WillowA113]

2 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

 

Fair, but I know cis-women that are taller than we are. 5'11" is less freakish than you think, but I get it. I have some height dysphoria too.

 

Hugs!

Yeah it’s not totally freakish but it’s not worth being taller and the pain of practicing a long time 

[Bri2020]

Couple of thoughts. I'm 5' 10" and known to wear 3"-4" heels. I'm already standing out because of my height, so who cares if I add a bit with good looking footwear .  

My advice is to go thrift store shopping for all of your clothes except underwear.  You will ABSOLUTELY go through some size changes as well as just figuring out what you like to wear once you are out and about.  Especially if you like to present more femme. There is a lot of considerations in fashion.  I filled a walk in closet for under $1000 shopping for good quality second hand clothes.  3/4 of them have been donated back to charity because they no long fit, my style changed or they just didn't fit my evolving sense of self.

Transitioning is hella expensive.  Save wherever you can. At least you are in a 2 season climate so you won't need all the heavier fall and winter fashions. (also- breast forms get HOT. keep that in mind out there in the desert)

[WillowA113]

1 hour ago, Bri2020 said:

Couple of thoughts. I'm 5' 10" and known to wear 3"-4" heels. I'm already standing out because of my height, so who cares if I add a bit with good looking footwear .  

My advice is to go thrift store shopping for all of your clothes except underwear.  You will ABSOLUTELY go through some size changes as well as just figuring out what you like to wear once you are out and about.  Especially if you like to present more femme. There is a lot of considerations in fashion.  I filled a walk in closet for under $1000 shopping for good quality second hand clothes.  3/4 of them have been donated back to charity because they no long fit, my style changed or they just didn't fit my evolving sense of self.

Transitioning is hella expensive.  Save wherever you can. At least you are in a 2 season climate so you won't need all the heavier fall and winter fashions. (also- breast forms get HOT. keep that in mind out there in the desert)

Thanks for the advice! I’d still rather not wear heels tho lol. Also I’m moving to Missouri so that’ll change things. 

[Jackie C.]

14 hours ago, WillowA113 said:

Thanks for the advice! I’d still rather not wear heels tho lol. Also I’m moving to Missouri so that’ll change things. 

 

Be careful sweetie, Missouri is passing a truckload of anti-LGBTQIA+ laws right now.

 

Hugs!

[WillowA113]

1 hour ago, Jackie C. said:

 

Be careful sweetie, Missouri is passing a truckload of anti-LGBTQIA+ laws right now.

 

Hugs!

Oh I was talking about the weather but there are plenty of negative changes too. I’m not looking forward to that. 

[Jackie C.]

3 hours ago, WillowA113 said:

Oh I was talking about the weather but there are plenty of negative changes too. I’m not looking forward to that. 

 

I used to have an aunt in Missouri. I visited her over summer break a couple of times. I cannot imagine the blasted apocalyptic hellscape that Arizona must be that you're looking forward to the weather. 😉

 

Hugs!

[WillowA113]

12 minutes ago, Jackie C. said:

 

I used to have an aunt in Missouri. I visited her over summer break a couple of times. I cannot imagine the blasted apocalyptic hellscape that Arizona must be that you're looking forward to the weather. 😉

 

Hugs!

110°F most summers! I’d be surprised if hell is hotter! 

[Ivy]

5'10" myself, and I often see women taller than me.  About all I can manage is clogs with 1 1/2" heal.

 

I seldom wear a bra at home - especially in hot weather.  I do in public though.  I can get by without the support, but I don't want the headlights on display.  But even in public a couple of layers is often enough.

Bras are a weird thing.  When my egg first cracked, they helped me feel fem.  But now they're just uncomfortable.  Come to think of it, a lot of cis women think the same thing.  LOL

[Desert Fox]

So true about the bras and breast forms....especially once I had some natural growth, the more I wanted to avoid using them. It's sadly true that transitioning is super expensive though using thrift stores, DIY clothing and jewelry modifications, doing your own hair, nails, home laser/electrolysis, etc. can save some money plus you learn some skills...fixing jewelry and sewing clothes can be kinda fun.

 

And I'm also over 5'9" and hate heels, they are like torture devices for my feet plus I don't want to be any taller, so I totally avoid them. Roller skates though, I'll make an exception for.

 

It gets challenging talking about sexual orientation when anyone being discussed is gender non-conforming in some way. I think masculine and feminine-attracted seems like a better way to phrase it rather than gay and straight...terms that get very confusing when someone transitions or otherwise doesn't fit neatly into cis male or female categories. It sometimes happens that orientation/attraction changes as a result of gender expression changes, as well. I agree with what Jackie says about "what you put out into the world is what attracts people." Sometimes though, what you INTEND to attract and what others are attracted to are two different things...so this is when we need to make adjustments in our presentation to the world.