Feeling lost with my identity

[GreyRainbow92]

Hey everyone,

I’m new to this forum and needing some support/insight. I’ll give a TW that I mention ED  here. I apologize in advance if I accidentally use the wrong language, I’m trying my best!

 

I’m a 30 year old bisexual woman who has always identified with my assigned gender. While I’ve never questioned my gender, I’ve always had extreme discomfort with my female body, especially my breasts. The best way I can explain it is that I’ve always felt that they shouldn’t be here. If I could have them removed, I would. I guess I’m wondering: is it possible to experience body or gender dysphoria when you still identify with your assigned gender?

 

I’ve been hospitalized 3 times for ED, and several of the people I was in treatment with have since come out as non-binary. This seems to be pretty common, since EDs can sometimes diminish feminine body features. I definitely relate to that. I still don’t personally think I identify at non-binary in my heart, but I sometimes wish I had a featureless body. Is this possible? Sorry if these questions are strange, I’m just trying to explore this aspect of myself for the first time and wanted to do it in a safe place with people who understand. Thank you for reading! 

[Jackie C.]

I've actually run into several women in the lesbian community who experience dysphoria regarding their breasts. They identify as a woman, but they have no use for them and would be happier if they were gone. As an aside, I also know women who experience bottom dysphoria and several NB people who are less than thrilled with one or more factory standard options.

These women are women. The absence or presence of sacks of fat on your chest do not define your gender.

My NB friends are NB. No matter what configuration of bits they do and do not have, they are NB. 

My agender friend (I've only got one, sorry), is not defined by their anatomy, hormones or what the doctor guessed when they were born either.

Only you define if you feel male, female, both, neither, or some special combination all your own. It's all fine. If you feel that you're a women, great, live as a woman. I enjoy that option immensely.

If you later change your mind, that's great too.

 

The thing to remember here is that we all deserve to be comfortable in out own skin.

 

Hugs!

[DonkeySocks]

4 hours ago, GreyRainbow92 said:

I guess I’m wondering: is it possible to experience body or gender dysphoria when you still identify with your assigned gender?

Yes! Also everything else you said is possible, too--well, it obviously is, since you feel that way and you identify as an actual person. But lots of people of various genders want to look androgynous, and some nb afabs prefer to look entirely masculine. I've had people say to my face that various things about my experience are not possible. That's ridiculous. That'd be like saying that I myself do not exist. You exist, you have a valid set of feelings and experiences.

[GreyRainbow92]

On 7/14/2022 at 9:55 AM, Jackie C. said:

I've actually run into several women in the lesbian community who experience dysphoria regarding their breasts. They identify as a woman, but they have no use for them and would be happier if they were gone. As an aside, I also know women who experience bottom dysphoria and several NB people who are less than thrilled with one or more factory standard options.

These women are women. The absence or presence of sacks of fat on your chest do not define your gender.

My NB friends are NB. No matter what configuration of bits they do and do not have, they are NB. 

My agender friend (I've only got one, sorry), is not defined by their anatomy, hormones or what the doctor guessed when they were born either.

Only you define if you feel male, female, both, neither, or some special combination all your own. It's all fine. If you feel that you're a women, great, live as a woman. I enjoy that option immensely.

If you later change your mind, that's great too.

 

The thing to remember here is that we all deserve to be comfortable in out own skin.

 

Hugs!

Thank you so much for the validation and helpful insight!