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Hello I'm Brianna.


Brianna R

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Hello I'm Brianna.

 

It's been a long journey for me to come to the point where I can openly say that I'm a transgender woman.  Truth be told I'm not really comfortable calling myself a woman, as I haven't lived the life of a woman.  I have lived a very male life up until about two years ago when I finally could no longer keep my female self locked away in the depth of my mind.  I'm 60 years old, retired Air Force aircraft mechanic, currently working in the Aerospace industry.  For most of my life not another living soul knew that I was female.  Finely about five years ago I came out to my daughter, some of my female coworkers, and eventually to my wife. About two years ago I began to have far to many suicidal thoughts and scared myself enough to talk to my doctor who prescribed HRT (hormone replacement therapy).  Almost immediately after I stared taking female hormones my thoughts of self harm went away.  It was kind of amazing actually the difference it made to my mental health.   Only two years ago I would have denied that I was trans but now I'm openly out at work and scheduled to have an orchiectomy at the end of the month.  I'm still afraid of going out in public as a trans woman since I feel that I'm just not passable, I just look like a man in a dress.  I don't where my current path will take me I just know that I cant go back into hiding again.

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  • Admin

Welcome to Trans Pulse, Brianna.  Your story is similar to many of ours, as many here also began their journey later in life.  But you would be surprised how much can change with HRT, facial hair removal, and other relatively simple steps.  I'm sure you've seen the before and after photos online or on Youtube.  It isn't as easy as when we're young, but it does get better and you can live as your true self if you desire it and work at it.

 

I look forward to hearing more from you, and wish you well on your journey to womanhood.

 

HUGS

 

Carolyn Marie.

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  • Forum Moderator

Welcome Brianna.  I'm another trans gal who got a late start.  I was 63 when i came out to mt family, found this site, a therapist, started hormones and removed most of my female clothes.  Today i move relatively fearlessly around the world.  I have hd few issues.  First of all most folks don't really look, others don't care and most others are simply kind and accepting.  My biggest critic has been myself but time has lessened that burden.  Glad you've joined us.  You are not alone.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

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Welcome Brianna

I came out at 67 myself after denying it for most of my life.

I live full-time although I don't really pass that well.  It's just who I am.  It's very liberating.

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  • Forum Moderator

Hi, Brianna.  Welcome.

 

I am another late bloomer: I came out at 62.  I was amazed at the changes that HRT could make.  One day, I was looking in the mirror, putting on makeup, and realized that my lips and eyes belonged to someone else.  They had changed enough that I didn't recognize them!  SO there is hope for anyone who embarks on this journey.

 

Like Charlize said, most people don't notice and others don't care.  I have had no problems, even in this slightly redneck-y rural area.  I am out full-time and I just don't worry about it at all.  I am just me.

 

I hope you can get to the same place.

 

Regards,

Kathy

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Thank you all for your words of encouragement. As I mentioned I’m still very self conscious about how I look and sound. I’m 6’1” over 200 lbs with a baritone voice.  My counselor has said much the same things as you have all said that most people don’t pay any attention to me. I know this is probably true but when I go out as Brianna I feel as though everyone must know that I’m an imposter. Only just last week when I went to see my doctor about my upcoming surgery I had to use the restroom. Since I was dressed as Brianna I was scared to death. It was the first time I’ve used the woman’s public restroom.  I was so happy no one paid any attention to me. 

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