New Member

[lillyinmn]

First I would like to say that I am delighted to have found this forum.  I heard of it through a YouTube video and had to check it out right away.  I read the forum rules and appreciate there being a safe place to share information, experiences and support with each other.  My thanks to the moderators for making this possible.

 

I am Lilly.  First off, I am not that sure if Lilly is the right woman's name for me, but it feels right after pondering others through the years.  I am 58 years old and can say when I seriously considered that I might be transgendered, I recalled many snapshots through the years that seem to point that way.  It didn't even occur to me until recently that I had been experiencing varying degrees of gender dysphoria throughout my life.  I have a therapist who knows me pretty well, and she has assured me that this is not something one just makes up in their head, and that these signs point to something--meaning that I don't think I can see myself as a cisgender man anymore.

 

I am starting slow, and feel that even though I am at a later stage in life, I do not need to hurry into any drastic changes.  Rather I will try to do what feels right as this process unfolds.  I have taken a lot of small steps to experiment with this identity, and many of them have made me feel that I have found a hidden part of me that I really like.  But it terrifies me!  And the most terrifying thing is that now that I am pretty certain this is real, and that it won't go away, I need to tell my wife about it.  

 

I could go on and on, but I actually have work I need to do!  I found out about this website while having my morning coffee, and had to check it out.  Since I decided to waste no time in deciding to join, I figured I should post a quick introduction.  Later, I am looking forward to having much more to learn and discuss in the forums!

[Cyndee]

Welcome Lilly to the forums, I hope you find your time here useful and enjoyable 😀 Communicating with others of like mind can be very beneficial. From your intro post I think you have a good outlook about it, it can be daunting at first, going slow and seeing what works for you just makes good sense. Good luck with your wife, that can very stressful, glad you have a therapist to work with. Post away as the mood strikes ya

 

Cyndee

[Mmindy]

Good afternoon Lilly,

 

Welcome to TransPulseForums, like you I was directed here by a YouTube Channel aka Jackie Rabbit.

Also like you I'm late in life transitioning, married (46years), and taking it slow. I hope you find the folks here as welcoming and helpful as I do.

 

Best wishes, stay positive, and motivated,

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

[Trans22]

Welcome Lily.  I too was late in realizing and accepting my gender (52yo), although it was a psychologist who made the discovery for me.  I hope you find these forums as useful and helpful as I have.

[Delcina B]

Welcome Lily! Glad you're here! I think your therapist is right, we don't just make this up in our heads. I tried to unmake it up destructively for decades, it didn't work. After finally beginning to explore & accept me as I am, even love me, taking a step at a time, today there's a balance of mind & body I never ever had. Finding this forum with people just like me was an amazingly huge part of this journey. I hope you find the wonderful support, advice & acceptance here as I have.

 

Hugs!

Delcina 

[Kastia]

Welcome Lilly! I too came here after watching Jacky Rabbit. I wish I would have joined the forums a year ago when I started watching her content because everyone here is awesome! But we all do things in our own time I guess. So turns out we both signed up on the same day! That makes us sisters in my mind. 🙂

I look forward to seeing you around the threads here and I hope you're having as wonderful of an experience here as I have been.

Hugs

Kastia

[lillyinmn]

On 12/15/2022 at 12:26 PM, Cyndee said:

hope you find your time here useful and enjoyable

Thank you Cyndee. I have found this to be quite helpful, and just noticed that there are several responses I have not replied to yet!  I do have some questions about privacy on the forums.  I recently noted that there were about 25 non-members viewing the various forum topics.  I was surprised because I thought you need to be a member to post and view.  It does appear however, that non-members may not view member profiles, am I correct in that?

 

The fact that any non-member can view what one posts makes it a little difficult to be candid in the forums.  Is that a concern others have expressed?

 

Kind regards,

 

Lilly

[lillyinmn]

On 12/15/2022 at 12:27 PM, Mmindy said:

like you I was directed here by a YouTube Channel aka Jackie Rabbit.

Thank you Mindy, do you have other recommendations for good Youtube channels?

 

Peace,

 

Lilly

[VickySGV]

1 hour ago, lillyinmn said:

 I recently noted that there were about 25 non-members viewing the various forum topics.  I was surprised because I thought you need to be a member to post and view.

The contents of the Forums here are visible to the public but they have no ability to post in the topics which is why we ask you to use a Forum Name that will not lead to your daily persona (we would not have approved you if you had used your e-mail address for instance).  Where you see the designation of "Guest" on a post or topic, those are former members who asked to be deleted for their own reasons which we honor.  They were full members when they made those posts.

 

The picture gallery and the  Private Mail PM feature which users with more than 5 posts are accessible ONLY to members and Mods and Admins.  We have not had problems with people discussing what might be sensitive issues.  You can always PM a Moderator or Administrator if you have something really touchy you would like to discuss, and you can include other members as well.  For members other than the Staffers, it is a good idea to be sure you have spoken and responded to each other in a forum, which takes some of the bad chances off of it.  We DO NOT allow non-Trans people to join and try to keep the place free from people only looking for sex or dating, and if we let one in, we know how to send them out as well.  Please do re-read the Community Rules that are in place to ensure safety.  Yes your concern has been heard many times as you can see in what I have written here.  I had the same question 12 years ago when I joined the pages here and I have some stuff in the back pages that was pretty tender.  The Public element here is that there are Trans people who are really scared to the point they will not join but will still get the benefit of the rest of this.  Over the years we have saved health and lives for being who we are and as we are.   The site began as Suicide and Self Harm prevention for the community and that is in our minds.  Welcome.

[Susan R]

On 12/15/2022 at 10:04 AM, lillyinmn said:

I am not that sure if Lilly is the right woman's name for me, but it feels right after pondering others through the years.  I am 58 years old

Welcome @lillyinmn! I’m glad you found us. Like yourself, I started my transition journey at 56. I had no idea where it would lead when I finally made a similar decision. The support here has been monumental for me. I’m sure in time your path will become much clearer and you’ll soon begin to feel the freedom and peace that authenticity brings with each step forward. Good luck and happy new year!

 

Warmest Regards,

Susan R🌷

[lillyinmn]

12 hours ago, VickySGV said:

Yes your concern has been heard many times as you can see in what I have written here.

Thank you for the clarification, Vicky.  We are all probably quite cautious when we start venturing outside our minds and closets with this.  I very much appreciate the forum!

 

Lilly

[lillyinmn]

9 hours ago, Susan R said:

I started my transition journey at 56

There do seem to be quite a few people in our age range going through this...At least within the chambers I inhabit online.  Thank you for reply, and Happy New Year to you as well!

[lillyinmn]

12 hours ago, VickySGV said:

The picture gallery and the  Private Mail PM feature which users with more than 5 posts are accessible ONLY to members and Mods and Admins.

And I just verified it by logging out, clearing my history and coming back as an anonymous user.  Sure enough, no galleries can be accessed anonymously.  

 

I remember my need to check and verify got me in trouble at the reception center prior to beginning boot camp in the Army.  The Reception Center Platoon Sergeant handed out our ID's, and I proceeded to check to make sure everything was correct.  The PSG said "what are you doing?"  Then I ended up with fire guard each night at midnight until we were sent to our training platoon!

 

Thanks Vicky!

 

Lilly